Can you take back a cheating partner?

in Love & Sexuality2 years ago (edited)

▶️ Watch on 3Speak


It is very normal for people to make mistakes, especially for people in relationships, since mistakes are a part of our lives which we constantly learn from. When mistakes are made, correction needs to be made with love, after all loving someone means that we understand that this person has flaws and weaknesses and we are willing to accommodate them.

Unfortunately, cheating is not one of such mistakes. Considering cheating a mistake would be very poor 'choice of words' because cheating is a very deliberate action. It is an action that requires pre-planning before execution hence it will be a mistake to say that your partner really feels sorry when caught in the act of cheating.

When people apologise after being caught cheating, I do not consider it a sincere apology. They're simply saying 'I'm sorry' because they were caught and not because they feel sorry for their actions. Not being caught will simply allow them go further. Being caught is also not an assurance that it wouldn't continue. I strongly believe that a cheating partner will always be a cheating partner, hence it is not in your power to control your partner's faithfulness.

Once my partner cheats on me, I'd simply conclude that whoever my partner cheated on me with is whom my partner is really interested in, while I'm simply a means to an end. As much as I may love her, I wouldn't like to continue such relationship because cheating on me simply means she doesn't love me.

Best thing to do in my opinion is to let such person go. I can never take back a cheating partner.

What would you do?

See you on the next one

Thumbnail and transition designed using Canva!

Colorful Podcast Interview YouTube Thumbnail.png

Previous videos in the series:

Understanding the African reaction to Pansexuality!

The African Mentality on Women expression

Nigerian women and the mentality of relationships as a means to an end!

A date with eighteen +1 ladies!

The Mentality of control in relationships!

Why Does Love Fade With Time?

Colorful Podcast Interview YouTube Thumbnail.gif

Regards!
uchihanagato!


▶️ 3Speak

Sort:  

I know I'm leaving. That's what I'd do. But humour me,what would you say to people who say, "men are polygamous in nature, if they cheat, it doesn't mean they don't love you, yada yada"?

 2 years ago (edited) 

Whoever says that simply doesn't understand the concept of love, and probably haven't met real men who don't think with their sex organs.

Polygamy is gender regardless and happens both ways, hence shouldn't be associated to a specific gender.

Point is - cheating is a very deliberate act and reflects the lack of contentment in your partner. After all. you'd only need alternatives if what you have isn't good enough.

😄 I like your sense of humour. And again, you're absolutely right.

Thank you. 😊

Hmmm, it is easier for men to say this I cannot take her back our society has made it look like when a woman cheat the act is unforgivable but when it is the man fight for your relationship or home is what we hear. For me I will say love forgives but my advice to people has always been don't marry a cheating partner, he is she won't change, but if it happens after marriage you can't just walk out of your marriage that's why I say think am well oo

 2 years ago (edited) 

Yes, don't marry a cheating partner because it will be tough to make a decision if it happens again in marriage. Best thing is to let a cheating partner go.

As for me I can take back a cheating partner, it might be a mistake and if she promise not to that anymore.

 2 years ago (edited) 

You can't build your future on a promise from a cheating partner. Nobody cheats by mistake, it's not like she was taking a walk down the street and dashed her feet upon a stone which plunged her upon an incoming man and caused accidental sex. 😂🤣

No.. please.. there's no mistake with cheating. It is a very deliberate action.

I wouldn't consider taking a cheating partner back, because I believe such partner doesn't love me and can never change. Calling cheating a mistake is just so funny, because it can never be a mistake.

Yes, thank you. There's no mistake in cheating. Taking back such person will only lead to more pain.

I don't think cheating should be considered a mistake, It was done purely by their own free will. I don't think I would want to get back with such a person.

Thank you. There are no accidents in cheating. It is done out of free will. No amount of excuse will change what it is.

I can and i cannot. Depending on the level of how serious the cheating is and how far it has gotten to. If there's a sign of remorse and it's not intimate, and depending on my own circumstance i might. But, if it's so serious even God can't beg on her behalf.

For me, there's no such thing as intensity in cheating. Cheating is cheating.

I appreciate you taking a hard to discuss about subject and trying to reach out to others in need and advice. Good work on the video and hope you will make great content for the community. There is just so much post discussing about bitcoin, make money fast... and it needs more attention to some real informative content. Good luck!~

 2 years ago (edited) 

I realise that people are always shying away from crucial issues such as these, hence I decided to start something like these in a bid to share my personal experience while educating people in my own way.

Thank you very much for your kind words, and thanks for noticing me. I sincerely appreciate the support.

Yes you are right... if you can see that in people and you are willing to get involved to make a positive difference, then you are one of the very few why humanity can still sustain itself. Keep on doing and keep on moving. I hope to see your efforts grow in the best ways possible. And with the Hive platform... it makes things even better and ads more richness to our community. Cheers!

Maybe. Maybe not. However, I must agree with you when you said "cheating is a deliberate action which requires pre-planning before execution."

Having said that, it yet depends on whatever it is that led the cheater to the act. Most of the time, we focus so much on the latter without having to look at how things were between both parties in the relationship/marriage.

I don't wanna make this too long, but if the circumstances that led to the cheating partner were say, the fault of one the party or otherwise then maybe looking at it delicately would allow us decide. Which is why I said "Maybe, Maybe not." It depends!

but if the circumstances that led to the cheating partner were say, the fault of one the party or otherwise

Your partners action or behaviour isn't am excuse to cheat. If you're no longer interested in the relationship you can call it a quit. Cheating is a big no-no, and no excuse will cut it.

Well you're right. However, I'll stand on my earlier response.
Wonderful post.

Wonderful post.

Thank you!

As much I don't encourage or agree with being with cheating partner, I believe in giving people a second chance if they feel remorseful. There is surely no third chance.
Another thing I would say is that cheating is one of those red flags in a relationship and can lead to depression for the other partner or something worst.

, I believe in giving people a second chance if they feel remorseful.

Not for me.

Do you think the remorse is a real one? A cheating partner will only feel remorseful because he or she was caught. There's no real remorse in that.

As for me! I got a lot of trust issues. So as soon as I realize my partner cheated or is cheating on me, that really marks the beginning of the end for us.

Thank you, and I completely agree. Trust will die immediately so its better the relationship ends.

“Unfortunately, cheating is not one of such mistakes. Considering cheating a mistake would be very poor 'choice of words' because cheating is a very deliberate action. It is an action that requires pre-planning before execution hence it will be a mistake to say that your partner really feels sorry when caught in the act of cheating.“

Perfectly said. You nailed it bro.😎

Just a suggestion, while letting go and move on is a good thing, it’s best also to do self-reflection about what happen because relationship will only work when there is give and take. Working together is a must when building relationships. It takes effort, resources, time, learnings, etc. Remember that it’s easy to destroy than build. And unfortunately our default is always going to destruction.

Perfectly said. You nailed it bro.😎

Thanks, and.. I apologise for the late response.

it’s best also to do self-reflection about what happen because relationship will only work when there is give and take.

Yes, you're right. But at the same time, no matter what happens in a relationship, there's no excuse for cheating. If any of both parties doesn't feel comfortable at some point, he or she should simply leave. Cheating isn't an excuse.