People often wonder why love fades with time without trying to understand if what they thought was love was actually love or something as simple as attraction or infatuation. The ability to tell the difference between love, attraction, and infatuation actually makes a difference in the long run and will allow for proper evaluation of feelings.
While attraction can be based on physical appearance, intelligence, proximity, mutual interests and lots more, infatuation is simply a function of attraction and provides a psychological projection of unrealistic perfection.
Love is built upon communication and understanding that your partner is not perfect but has weaknesses and flaws which you are willing to accommodate. Love doesn't fade, relationships simply get boring with time because it has begun to lack activities that existed at the beginning.
Couples often get so comfortable within months and years of courtship/marriage that they let go of those activities they enjoyed doing together perhaps because they're too busy with their career/ taking care of the children and forget that the relationship should be majorly about them both while the children are simply a product of the relationship and shouldn't be allowed to cancel out the activities they enjoy together.
Those random dinners, movie nights goes a long way in re-igniting those sparks in relationships, which means that true love doesn't fade but the excitement simply diminishes with time. This excitement can be re-ignited by revisiting those activities that once used to be a regular part of their lives.
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A date with eighteen +1 ladies!
The Mentality of control in relationships!
Regards!
uchihanagato!
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True love doesn't fade but then when they both get too busy they start thinking the other person doesn't love them again, then they start getting this idea of let's go our seperate ways. Love needs to be fueled though
yes, love needs to be refuelled on a daily basis, and this can only be achieved if both parties pay attention to each other and communicate often while doing activities they always found interesting at the beginning of their relationship!
To me I believe any love that fades with time wasnt love in the first place or wasn’t built on the right foundation. Love is something that’s meant to last forever irrespective of the odds and pains in it
Love can never fade. It will always be there, What is simply needed is substance such as interesting activities that adds energy and sparks to relationships!
The worst form of mind trick is infatuation. It's so bad that you'd be so convinced that you've seen the one for you because you'd fantasize the person to be flawless, this is where the problem begins
I agree that True love can never fade because it is created on understanding and tolerance. What lacks in most relationship is communication and activities that will reignite the initial excitement that was felt when it just began.
Spot on. Just as I mentioned. It's the psychological projection that causes problems in the long run because flaws will begin to reflect with time and the infatuation will begin to diminish. Unfortunately, they won't know better and will assume it all to be love!
You're right. Love is built on effective communication and understanding.
What some people call love at first sight is actually attraction at first sight and infatuation.
Yes. A majority of what we have out there is simply infatuation and not real love. And..yes you're right, love at first sight is nothing but attraction.
Is there a difference, though, between Love and attraction? Isn't it contradictory to say "you feel deeply attracted to someone", without actually loving the person. It's an either-or situation.
You don't know you love someone necessarily because you saw them for the first time and you love their appearance or charisma.
You only know you love someone when you've communicated with the person long enough to know who they really are and if you can tolerate them.
That's why I said earlier love is built on effective communication and understanding.
So there is a difference!
Community is the bedrock of any relationship
Yes, that's right! With effective communication and continuity of initial activities, love wouldn't fade.
I think it depends on whatsoever the love is built on at the initial stage, some tends to love their partner cos of material things, and when it's not longer available they get tired of such relationship.
That is classified as attraction/infatuation. It is not love but simply attraction but on what they can see and what is available to he benefitted from.
People tend to mistake infatuation, lust and attraction for love. Aside from this fact, love is never enough in a relation/ marriage has it needs other factors to grow, such as communication, attention, understanding your partner, etc. When love stands alone in a relationship (i.e. when love is all that is offered in a relationship) it begins to grow weak and eventually fade out. Love's sustainability lies in the hands of both parties.
Yes, via effective communication, understanding and paying attention to each other. Thank you!
If it fades then maybe it's infatuation. Though, you might not enjoy the privilege of missing each other if you're married or if you're staying together. But, doing some fun things you once did when you met first, it might ignite the feeling again.
Exactly. Those fun activities is what allows marriage to last amd reignites the excitement
Allow me to throw a controversial statement, and digress a little here. I believe what is once conceived, especially in matters of the heart, can go on to last a lifetime. It's simple yet so amazingly misunderstood. No?
Nobody believes in love at first sight, so they label it infatuation, thereby, making it to be a form of a prerequisite to the real thing - Love. I believe as much as we try to subdue the possibility of falling in love at a sight, we thereby frustrate the meaningness to what it truly is.
Having said that, does Love fade over time? It absolutely does not.
Love at first sight does not exist, it is simply attraction. People only say 'love at first sight' because they don't truly understand what love really is. Love is an over-used word, especially in unnecessary situations.
Regardless of how convinced you are, claiming to love someone at first sight is nothing but a lie which is born out of the inability to tell the difference between attraction and love.. The fact remains that you know nothing about this person. You can only claim you love someone if you've known the person to a certain degree including his or her flaws or weaknesses and are able to accommodate those flaws while understanding that humans make mistakes and we aren't perfect.
Infatuation on the other hand is a product of attraction which produces a psychological projection which is completely unrealistic while eliminating flaws while picturing person as perfect.
If you want to be sure that a lady really loves you, show her some of your bad habits and observe her reaction afterwards. She could either fight you later or express her displeasure in a very soothing way while correcting you .in the process.
It is for you to fill the gap!
Good talk. 🙂
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