The Mentality of control in relationships!

in Love & Sexuality2 years ago

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Certain people in relationships have developed a sense of control towards their spouses and have cultivated the mentality that their decision should be final, while forgetting that there should be a sense of individuality in relationships and that each person has the right to his or her own choices and decisions.

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Those are the sign of toxicity in a relationship and should be a red flag

If I ever come across such kind of person, I'd run away before the chance of relationship even comes through. I don't appreciate the concept of obsession and control.

Before deciding to be in a relationship I think both parties should get to a level where they are absolutely open to each another, e.g Trust, being a major talking point here. However, if such conditions aren't met - where one side can be free to express/befriend the opposite gender without any attractions or whatever, I don't see why such a relationship should continue.

It all boils down to respect, and trust IMO. Without it the foundation for any relationship is bound to collapse.

 2 years ago (edited) 

where one side can be free to express/befriend the opposite gender without any attractions or whatever, I don't see why such a relationship should continue.

Sincerely. Such relationships should be made to end immediately. Why should a relationship be established without trust and confidence in your spouse. Asking your spouse to not talk to friends of the opposite gender is a very childish and selfish mentality.

Thanks for stopping by.

This type of mentality should be eradicated from the surface of the earth. Why would anyone want to control who his or her spouse talks to?

That's pure obsession and insecurity. In relationship, we should learn to trust our partners and develop the ability to communicate effectively when things go wrong.

This is spot on and I completely agree. There should be trust, and the mentality of control should be thrown away because it makes no sense.

I believe that in a relationship, everyone has equal rights, and respect should come from both side not minding the gender. That way, the sense of control will be limited...

The sense of control shouldn't even exist at any point. Nobody should ever think of controlling anyone.

This is so great we've reached dour bag limit!👍

What are you talking about?

In relationship it depends on trust and "we" instead of "i, me" thing.

You said it very well! More respect for you.
Have fun ahead!

"we" instead of "i, me" thing.
Yes. Relationships are about both parties hence it should be a "we" and not a "I" or "you".

You said it very well! More respect for you.

Thanks!

My pleasure!

Some men think it is their duty to control their partners and will always expect them to follow whatever they say without having the right to their own opinion.

Those kinds of relationships often results in domestic violence and abuse, and results in break up later on.

 2 years ago (edited) 

Ah.. yes domestic violence becomes the order of the day because one party thinks the other is below him, thus treats his partner like his personal belonging, without a sense of remorse and forgetting that humans have the right their choices.

Thanks for the comment.

Dictatorship in relationship is meant to be based on understanding, but in some cases when capacity and responsibility issues are rising it becomes important for the male to take charge

Dictatorship in relationships is absolutely wrong. If you wanna dictaye then go be a army general.

important for the male to take charge

Take charge? Nobody is taking charge of anybody I a relationship and it has nothing to do with gender. If one party isn't comfortable with the action of his or her spouse, it can be sorted out via communication.

Nobody is in charge of anybody. It's just wrong.

Finally, I think not all the times where there is a team without a striker, there are few drastic condition where there is need for someone to be in control

 2 years ago (edited) 

I'd have to tell you to throw that mentality into the gutters. Nobody is in control in a relationship. In relationships effective communication will make things work which is why relationships should begin on the basis of friendship such that enough understanding exists between both parties.

Nobody is controlling anybody. That's just selfish and the mentality of ownership. You don't own anyone.

Each party has his or her own personal lives. Couples can only advice each other but not control.

I think not all the times where there is a team without a striker,

This mentality is what leads to domestic violence.

Anyone who stops his partner from relating with people that are important to them should pay a close attention to his intention.
This could be a clear sign you don't have good intention towards your partner, probably you'd hurt them in future and you don't want someone that will enlighten them or stops you from fulfilling your intention.

You're right.

But you forget that it doesn't require complicated reasons. The simple reasons of selfishness and the mentality of being in charge is enough to kick-start the mentality of control.

Thanks for your comment.

I know of a lady of 23 year old dating a man of 34 years old.. Now the man says he doesn't want her to talk to any other guy in a relationship that's just 6month old.. Some people are dating lords and not a partner.

Unfortunately, this is the case with so many relationship. Some believe it is a show of love, affection and commitment but I call that insecurity which is a 'red flag'. If you trust your partner, then you'll give them their freedom and not hover around them like a 'puppet' or should I say like a 'prison warder'.