“Cor… that looks a bit good”
We were driving through a particularly rough suburb of a northern city, not quite in the league of what Compton is to Los Angeles but not somewhere you would take your sweetheart for a romantic weekend.
The mansion looked out of place. Derelict shacks crammed with used needles could be expected, not this beauty.
Parking on a side street and cursing my luck for forgetting to bring my personal wheel clamp, we jumped a small wall and started scouring the perimeter.
It was ticking all the boxes. Unkempt gardens, boards all around the lower windows (but not placed recently) and the council bins were missing.
We snuck around the edges feeling like common criminals and that familiar tingling started. I have to remind myself, 'this is not illegal' many times but it's tough to stop the sensation.
Moments later, @anidiotexplores is scrambling through a window, around four feet off the ground, and grunting a little.
This means I will be grunting a lot. It was a little awkward, the glass shards still within the window frame not making it any easier, and I hoped the drainpipe I was standing on would not crack and collapse.
One slip and you can be dripping blood from multiple areas. Edging through the gap, armed with my new ‘burglar gloves’, I felt a sense of relief at seeing no red liquid dripping anywhere from my arms, legs, or middle parts.
...'Linda is a little before my time, but I do remember her from porn mags in my teenage years'...
This was going to be great, an undiscovered premium time-capsule, crammed with 1950s memorabilia, vintage Linda Lovelace porn magazines up the swanny, and swimming with dildos.
I could already picture it, ‘Dildo Mansion', with one stuck on the front door for completeness. We of course would post it back through the letterbox on our departure.
“It’s a fucking reno..”
The words sent terror through my very core. A renovation, full of half-stolen building materials, brand new windows, rolls of wallpaper, tins of paint, fuck, fuck fuck…, this is not what I signed up for.
We had done it more than once; walked in on a renovation, swore several times, and left.
I felt guilty. I always do when finding one of these. Someone was busily trying to build something and we were trespassing.
If it hadn't been such a pain in the arse getting in, we would have reversed immediately and marched out.
…but it had taken effort, blood could have been spilled and so we felt compelled to look. Perhaps a single teeny-weeny dildo had been overlooked?
Was all this renovation equipment, tools, and parts? It looked that way.
The front door was jammed with unopened letters. One caught my eye from HMRC and so I opened it.
A VAT bill of over £29,000. That is some sum. If it's one thing I remember from having my own company in the past, it’s that you don't fuck with the VAT people.
Without giving away the company (and this location), I found it was dissolved with a large outstanding VAT bill. How had they managed that?
Is this the way to get around paying a massive VAT bill?
I climbed the uncarpeted stairs and things were getting worse. Bin bags full of crap. I wasn’t going to poke around in there.
The new owners were stripping it down properly.
When you can safely use the shitter, and there is fresh shit roll you know something is just not right.
Not a trace of graffiti. The only other visitors to ‘Debt Mansion’ had been thieves looking for anything of value.
I had no idea Tampons had a sell-by date attached. The things us blokes learn, it’s an education in itself.
The previous inhabitants were a software company. Some evidence of it remained in this top-level room.
It looks like a new skylight. Not a trace of old dust and cobwebs. We had to be quick; it would not be good being caught in here.
Workmen types wear hi-visibility clothing, even indoors.
‘Debt Mansion’ boasted several staircases and countless rooms. It was going to be some place once renovated.
This room looked almost finished.
A visible exit sign tells me it was not someone’s private home, though we already knew this.
This small piece of decay was refreshing.
It’s not a floating apparition, just more of those damn vests.
Perhaps the last room to renovate?
The small cellar contained a few more valuables. The thieves had not been so diligent.
Cobweb encrusted boxes; I resisted the temptation to break one open.
Seeing the graffiti I almost fell over. A 'nit'. That's a bit lame, isn't it?
The kitchen was a little dingy. There was plenty of hand wash available if required.
So ‘Debt Mansion’ it is. That @grindle always seems to get the derelict porn hideouts, gay stripper bars and sex clubs. Not fair I say.
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Well that's good if it's being done up. Also good to hear you got some decent gloves. I worry about your safety. Could be a nice house, but then you say it's not a nice neighbourhood. I wonder what it's worth. At least you got it properly documented.
I checked out the area before writing this. It's pretty bad, though I wasn't aware at the time. I did forget to mention, there's a Police Station directly opposite... oops!
The rozzers will catch up with you eventually, but then you know your rights I'm sure.
I did get some gloves and I tell you they make a lot of difference. @anidiotexplores has hands made out of iron, but mine get injured easily. We narrowly missed a cop encounter last week in Birkenhead. I have yet to face any... anywhere!
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Bummer, risking life and limb to find builders equipment, pisses me right off
Yes, very annoying. Sex clubs seem to be my latest jinx. I was looking forward to 'La Chambre Swingers Club & Sex Dungeon', but that's been welded now.
😂😂😂
Such a beautiful house, that VAT though oof and kind of tells the story right there.
The company had been around for a few years and had 3 directors. They may well have opened another one to get around that bill.
Dildo Mansion... 🤣🤣
You must tell us more of these gloves. Are they Kevlar lined or something to avoid glass wounds?
I am glad you didn't get caught, it looked awfully close to being liveable!
They are skiing gloves or something. I scoured JD Sports for climbing gloves and found nothing. The confidence in climbing is nothing short of miraculous. Being an IT geek I don't have those builder hands and they get worn out sharpish doing this stuff.
It was uncomfortable in there. Reno's are not fun.
I know the very hands you mean. I have em too!!
That reminds me of a time that a mechanic guy shook my hand and his whole hands were one gigantic callous as if he was wearing a cured leather glove, yuk. Imagine fondling a boob with them!
That building's been badly used, converted by someone with no sense of the underlying architecture. I don't hold out too much hope for the renovations, either. It's the kind of place that, round here, would have been converted into a school and then a hotel.
Shame, there were some nice aspects, I liked the attic room with the arch window. All those staircases meant it was difficult to understand the layout. To be honest, I prefer the buildings with more dereliction. Although the ex-bingo hall was quite interesting.
Glad about the burglars' gloves. Are they listed on Amazon?
The next one is a complete wreck! More so than usual.
Burglars gloves, I will need to look those up.
What a find… such a shame it was a Reno… and all that stuff inside.
Beautiful place, once fixed up… stunning 🤩
Great captures. Glad you went further and not leave after finding the building materials.
I hope it's still there. Neither of us leaked this one. It's off the scene and should stay that way.
It will probably than just be there still 😎🤞🏻🤞🏻 Let’s hope for the best.
I guess you can not tell a house by the boards on the windows. I am glad that you did not get caught inside. I love the old doors in it.
Oh damn. I'd be a little scared walking into a reno as well.
Double damn on the VAT owed lol. That's a lot of debt.
We walked in one in Liverpool a few weeks ago. Back door was open, looked freshly worked. We left in a hurry.
Haha yeah. It would be an awkward encounter to run into the owners lol
Meh, Compton ain't that bad. Even when you're in a suit, your blonde wife is in 5" heels and an electric blue dress, you're the only white people in about a 4 mile radius and they put you in the front row at a comedy show.
They loosen up after about three performers.
Seriously have you been there? Closest I ever got was Long Beach. It felt pretty unsafe to us as white guys.
That's hilarious. You know I'm from Long Beach, right? But yeah, absolutely, Compton borders Manhattan Beach, I've been to many house parties, concerts, etc there. Inglewood however, or Watts, proceed with caution.
That comedy show, though! Man I'm not gonna lie, I was a little intimidated as we were being seated—front row of all things. Naturally, every comedian picked on the fancy dressed white couple in the front but eventually I got comfortable and began firing back. Good times.
We had no idea, it felt unsafe and we looked the wrong colour. We also avoided Miami due to its reputation, stopping at just south of Fort Lauderdale.
It's certainly going to look nice when cleaned up.
That VAT is a helluva bill! Damn!
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