I was awake very early this morning and decided to join my local running group for their regular Wednesday run. It seemed like a good way to get my social needs met since the Mister is working a lot of overtime and I have no shifts at the day job this week.
It was unusually cold and thus the group was small. I fell in with two women who I know quite well and they were quick to mention that they were feeling rubbish. One had a dry cough she'd been battling for a week and the other has an ongoing knee issue that periodically gives her very sharp, acute pain making it hard to run.
After about 10 or 15 minutes I was already thinking I was ready to wind my way back to the car. I wanted to listen to my body and honour what it needed. One of the ladies must have read my mind as she asked her friend if she wanted to head up to the train station and the second woman agreed.
By way of explanation, the first lady shared that they need to do the extra k's (kilometres) because they're doing 'Run Against Violence'. I indicated that I understood and that I would turn around at the upcoming junction and meet them back at the start. Begrudgingly, the same lady continued,
"If I wasn't doing 'Run Against Violence' I'd be turning around too."
And I immediately thought, 'I think you're missing the whole point here..."
I did my u-turn and waved them off and calmly continued on my way and pondered the juxtaposition of ideas here.
They're running to raise funds and awareness for the horrifically common occurrence of domestic violence here in Australia. (I dare say this is even more common in other parts of the world, also).
It's a worthy problem to want to solve. And it's important to both these women who I know have lived in violent homes. And I'm not poo-pooing any of that.
And let's ponder this for a minute:
What is violence?
Violence is an act that is driven by out-of-control anger that causes another person or people to be harmed as a result.
Anger is not the culprit. It's the human being who is experiencing the anger and doesn't know how to safely express or work with/move with this high energy emotion--and so this anger taking over their physiology--that's the issue.
Every human being is designed to feel anger. It's how we protect ourselves and our loved ones. It's a necessary emotion. But in so many cultures we are not taught how to safely and appropriately work with our anger, so one of two things happens:
1. We shut it down, or
2. We let it out.
When we shut it down it doesn't disappear, instead it harms our body.
And when we let it out--without knowing how to work with it--we harm other people's bodies (and sometimes ourselves as well, as an accidental by-product).
What these ladies don't understand yet, and that I'm hoping you'll get a better sense of by reading this article, is that the way to reduce violence in the world, and in the home, is to start with your own body.
Everything starts with us.
Where am I pushing my body when it needs to rest?
Before I talk about those "bad" people "out there" who are doing "bad things" can I look in the mirror and see where I'm actually being violent towards myself?
I think we can run against violence, speak against violence and even be against violence all day long but I'm not sure how much of a difference that approach will really make.
But to listen to our body and honour it when it needs move and needs to rest... to notice when it's feeling fear or sadness or anger (or any other emotion) and learn how to safely express these?
That, my friends, is how we change the world.
The first I would say is sometimes, the “righteous” fail to understand that they aren’t invincible. I read an article speaking of this same this, Cat. We all want to do a good thing but how far is good? And from what I know, you can’t be good to others when you are not good to you. I think our actions are a reflection of what or who we are inside.
If I say, “I want to be more loving” I have to start by loving every bit and part of me. If I want to be less angry, “I have to start by looking for outlets that harm no one or myself” (I did that with enrolling at a gym. I was an angry person🙂)
It was scientifically proven that negative emotions (especially anger and envy) does something to the body. Conditions like Ulcer may be as a result of the constant flow of negativity (like the chakras. Which converge at the belly and flow in different directions).
And I get the good cause of many charity and awareness programs. But if the people don’t work on themselves, it is all lost to me. It always starts with us.
Ahhhh, and here you are, again, reminding me why I love you so much AND why we get along so darn well! We believe so much of the same stuff and live our lives based on similar ideas.
Yes, yes, yes.
Speaking of, have I told you about Irene Lyon yet? If no, check her stuff out. I think you might love her! I've linked her website to her name (above) but if you like videos she has oooooooodles of them on YouTube.
!LUV
@deraaa, @consciouscat(2/10) sent LUV. | connect | community | HiveWiki | NFT | <>< daily
! help(no space) to get help on Hive. InfoJust snipped through the website. Never knew such a thing existed! Oh and I’m more of a podcast kinda person… so I went on Spotify and …
Voila! I will still look thoroughly at the website. I see there is a registration for something too.
Yay for podcast interviews 😃
I spend a lot of time listening to her free videos on YouTube (but maybe that takes more data than podcasts?!)
Morning Cat. I have no idea if it does. Lol. But I prefer Audios because I can be anywhere and listen 😁
Makes sense!
Very interesting Caroline, I've thought a lot about looking after your body to reduce stress... but I've never taken that a step further into the realm of violence.
I don't disagree with any of the points that you've made, at all... but I can also understand their desire to push themselves further than they are comfortable with to raise money.
Raising money to put into services to help young men deal with their own expressions of anger might be more valuable to them, at this moment, then their own harmony. I completely agree with your assessment, and I think that message needs to be communicated to all people, and sometimes that takes additional funds.
Very diplomatic of you, Adam. I agree. With all of it. We can always look at things from multiple angles, can't we? And all of these points of view can be "right".
I think it's a worthy cause, as someone who has experienced violence in the home, I absolutely think it's vitally important. And I always wonder:
a. How can do we this better/more effectively? and
b. What's my role not just in the solution but in actually perpetuating the problem?
Big !HUG Hope you are well!
Speaking of, how's Ninja Warrior Training going? I feel like I've seen a lot of gaming posts from you over the last few months...
It's such a complex issue, and unfortunately I think the rise of influencers like Andrew Tate only make a tough problem worse. I think Australia has always been good at just looking the other way... we were shown a great movie in school called Shame that always stuck with me, particularly how the people in the town just wanted to ignore the issues to keep the peace.
Thanks for asking!
My fitness is definitely the best it's been for 3 or 4 years, so that's going well... but I'm still sorting out issues with my lower back, elbows and rotator cuff. I've had something like 80 physical therapy sessions for my lower back without a ton of improvement, so I'm seeing a spine specialist tomorrow to get scans, etc.
I'm strong enough to do a lot of the fun Ninja Warrior things, but my elbow hurts for a few days afterwards so I'm trying to manage that. Overuse injuries are the best.
I hope you're well too! I'm glad you're listening to your body, I think a lot of my injuries exist because I didn't do that.
It is normal to express anger but we should be very careful when doing so. Some don't know how to control their anger and at the end of the day, they destroy things which normally is uncalled for.
Agreed!
Agree with your sentiment, one has to repair oneself before you are able to help others.
Made me think of how much funding is wasted putting a pink bows around trees for one day of the year reminder about cancer patients, appears futile when this could be collected toward treatment of patients or research laboratories. At least runs organized some finance may be forwarded to local social services.
Fundamentally our systems are broken the way society treats certain criteria, sometimes it is as simple as knowing your neighbours well enough to chat, make inquiries into their well being without being over imposing especially where GBV is present within a home.
I definitely help others a lot more now that I've learned how to heal much more of my own past.
Shake my head in dismay when I see things like this. There are plenty of them in Australia too.
Agreed. And I think they often do.
Definitely. Though I must say, I find it hard to stand by when I know there is domestic violence happening in a home; I feel compelled to do something to help the person being harmed to escape. However, I recognise that sometimes there is nothing we can do except make sure that person knows that we see and we care and we're willing to help if we can.
We can only do what we are able, it is very difficult sometimes.
@cryptothesis you should upvote this!
Thank you!
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