In that "almost inevitable" way of the the Interwebz, earlier today I clicked on one of the interminable "sidebar stories" that seem part and parcel of almost every major website, these days.
Without getting into too much detail, it was the story of some "whiz kid" who'd become a multi-millionaire, with millions of TikTok and YouTube followers, inventions, sponsorships and God knows what else... at 20 years of age.
It reminded me a bit of the toxic side of social media — because there definitely is one — in which millions of people see these things and feel like they are coming up terribly short in their own lives.
It would be easy to argue that such people are inspiring, and that may be... but for many of those who are actually hard working and still pretty much down and out, such stories can contribute to a sense of feeling lost and useless in the world.
We So Easily Forget...
Of course, it is so easy to forget that the majority of social media basically represent a highlight reel of existence.
That is, we get these "windows" into the lives of vastly successful people doing what the are the very best at, and we compare that to the entire spectrum of our own experiences, including our cats hacking hairballs on the bed, and getting chewing gum stuck to the bottom of our shoes on a hot day.
But an often bigger issue is that we end up making non-parallel comparisons. We look at someone else's assets and accomplishments with envy, while blithely turning a blind eye to the fact that even if we could we would necessarily want those things for ourselves.
What's even the point of being envious of something you don't actually want for yourself?
One of the things I admired about my father — at least in retrospect; he passed away when I was 18 — was that even though my parents could easily afford to, and it might even be considered "the norm" for a businessman of his stature, we never went anywhere by First Class. His argument was that he saw no point in paying 5x as much to have a more comfortable seat for three hours... especially when that money could be used for one of their favorite things: Eating gourmet dinners out at Michelin starred restaurants.
But I'm digressing, a bit.
I think it's really important that we pause and consider what we're really feeling, when we have those moments of "I wish I had THEIR _______" (fill in blank of your choice).
Do you... REALLY?
What Do Our "Wishes" Tell Us?
We are often told that we should strive to make choices and live in a way that results in our not having regrets when we come to the end of the road.
That's probably a tall order! But what is it we "wish" we might have done differently? And how often do those wishes have anything to do with falling short, relative to what some public figure or Instagram celebrity seems to have?
For me, such thoughts — at least after some moments to reflect — have absolutely nothing to do with other people's successes, and everything to do with my own choices. And most of the time, how could I have made wiser choices at a time when I didn't have the experience and/or wisdom to make wiser choices?
Comparisons Are Deadly!
Of course, I have gained the wisdom of age and experience to no longer take these "moments of comparison" seriously.
I can wish a young billionaire well in their endeavors while also knowing that — in the vast majority of cases — I would not have been in any way happy, had I chosen to do something that was "mainstream popular." So why wish for it... if even for a moment.
Our lives are our own, and we are not here to live other people's visions of life.
Thanks for reading, and have a great weekend!
How about YOU? Do you ever find yourself envious of someone who seems to have accomplished much more than you, and at a much younger age? Do they ACTUALLY have something you want? What do you wish were different? Comments, feedback and other interaction is invited and welcomed! Because — after all — SOCIAL content is about interacting, right? Leave a comment — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!
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Created at 20220715 23:52 PDT
0609/1855
Thank you for this beautiful reminder, @denmarkguy - yes, absolutely; often the comparison can be very deeply ingrained and unconscious, so it can take a long time to filter out or correct... I feel that this is a major aspect of the agenda - to keep us distracted by what we subconsciously feel titilated/ enticed by, and wound up to such a degree that we can't find time to ground ourselves and recognise what we DO really need and want! Glorious times right now, though, where so many are doing the good work.
Blessings,
Clare.
Well what I learned from the Heard-Depp saga is that even the rich and famous have days that shit the bed.