My friend (Let's call her Susan) sadly lost her husband in June 2021 due to Covid. She has always been a housewife and has never really worked outside in the real world. Her husband provided her with enough money, so eventually she will have plenty to live on when the money finally pays out.
They were a very close-knit family and the death of her husband and their father hit them very hard. They had family dinners twice a week so that the grandparents could see the grandchildren, and it was always such fun to see their three daughters together. Obviously they had their own personal issues, but on family nights they only focused on each other.
The death of their father tore them apart. In the beginning they only had dinner once a week just to give everyone time to process their own grief, but then it became every two weeks and now it's only once a month.
Susan decided to join a group on Facebook for widows and widowers. I tried to motivate her to rather join a support group but she didn't want to. I didn't hear from her for a few weeks and then her one daughter contacted me. Susan met a man!!!
They were not happy with this at all. His excuses and stories were just too far fetched. So then desperate times called for desperate measures! It was NOT the fact that their mother was seeing someone new, it was just that they didn't trust him at all.
The kids hired a private investigator and he sniffled out a lot of information on Raymond. He came to the conclusion that this "guy" is scamming women all over the country. Even his identification card is false. Susan's son in law even contacted some of his previous girlfriend's and they all warned him that this was not a good guy. A few even made recordings to send to Susan, but to no avail.
Raymond is an entertainer. He goes from pub tot pub to do Karaoke gigs, and he only does that to keep himself busy. Apparently he is very rich and waiting for money for a house that he sold in Durban. He doesn't have a car currently because apparently he borrowed his car to a friend. He is not using his real name because he is under police protection. (WTF in South Africa????)
Her son in law gathered all the evidence and played her all the recordings, showed her the false ID, and proven to her over and over again that this guy is a scammer BUT she still doesn't want to leave him. She doesn't even want to believe anything that we tell her about this so called Raymond.
_Raymond moved in with Susan. He drives around in HER car. Susan buys the food because he is still "waiting" for money to come in, and she has thrown out her departed husband's stuff to make a space for Raymond. _
Susan now has to live with herself, and she has to take whatever comes her way. The family is completely torn apart and currently she cannot even see her grandchildren because they don't trust her enough to leave their kids with their own mother while "Raymond" is there.
I have tried chatting with her but she doesn't want to listen to anyone.
Yesterday I received this message:
Hi Yvette
I just want to inform you that I will be getting married on the 16th of June 2022. It is my decision and no one is going to change my mind. We will be extremely happy if you can attend our wedding. Please share this day with us. More details will follow.
What a sad sad day this is going to be!
I can put my head on a block that Susan will be scammed and that Raymond will use her in any way that he can. There is NOTHING that we can do to stop this. I can think of a few evil things to do, but it is not in my nature. All we can do now is to support her decision and be there for her when eventually the crap hits the fan.
Perhaps we are just too judgmental but we will see how this plays out. I really hope that we are wrong about this but the evidence proofs differently.
Let this just be a warning to everyone. Don't trust everyone you meet on the internet. They may not be the person they claim to be.
That is so awful Yvette, I just hope she comes to her senses! It must be very upsetting and frustrating for her family!
Loneliness can make people blind.
It is terrible! It's like watching someone die slowly. I just know that she isn't the person she was before and there is absolutely NOTHING we can do to help. I pray that her eyes open in the next month....xx
If she marries best advice is prenuptial agreement, antenuptial agreement, or premarital agreement through a lawyer, definitely not marry in Community of Property!
Sort the cat out among the pigeons before crying big tears in disappointment. Not a way of meeting people, plenty woman being scammed this way.
Yes, it's the fear of being alone.
I did a lot of dumb and risky things just after my first hubby died.
Henry and I were lucky, also met on the internet.
God send him to rescue me from myself
Very sad about your friend. Let's hope for the best.