🌄Good morning! ☕ 🙂
What an interesting and thought-provoking post @minismallholding. How "high up the list" of important issues in our minds is what others think of us? And whatever we think that may be, whether we should give that any credence whatsoever ...
Personally (my typical ... "contrarian view"), I do not place that much importance in it, but I have been around people whose very life seems to depend upon on it. Sadly (in my view), as it seems to hold them in some sort of "bondage" from which they can't seem to ever be free ...
A key word for many? Success!! Yes, well then, what is their definition of this ... "important" ... word? And who defined it? Based upon what? The "pride of life" answers of most can be safely (and are best) ignored ...
"What they gained in the long run from their time doing these sports is what they learnt from the training. The knowledge that nothing comes from nothing and hard work and perseverance can get you a long way.
I've seen many parents who seem to try to get their sense of achievement through their children."
I liked this. Both that you helped your daughters discern / derive what was of greater importance in their accomplishments. As well as noting the many people we all know who seem to live through their children ... Trying through them to achieve something they (often the case anyway ...) never managed on their own ...
"For the most part, those who love their kids are always proud of them whatever. I hear so many parents wax lyrical about their adult children and how wonderful they are, even when it's just to say how loving, kind or hard working they are."
Loving our children unconditionally is a very noble accomplishment, if we can get anywhere close to that, as no one is perfect. If we can focus on leaving that behind as our legacy, I would suggest that we have "amounted to something" and can, therefore, be at peace. No matter what ...
I feel like this, along with @deirdyweirdy's quote about friends has hit the nail on the head. My friend's ex husband has shattered every relationship he ever had, friends and family alike. It's kind of sad, because his narcissism has likely arisen from child abuse, but he had plenty of years to try and heal from that and become a decent person.
My sister's life experiences have had a big impact on how I tried to guide my children. My eldest particularly is like her; a high achiever. She is even currently doing a PhD. 😆 I always feel uncomfortable telling people that, because it feels like I'm boasting, but she just loves what she's doing and that's the most important thing for me. I don't really understand her work, but she loves telling me all about it.
She actually came to me for advice on what path to take when she was completing her degree. Initially she was thinking of doing a medical doctorate so she would have more control/decision over any future experiments and of course a higher income. However, she was loving the work she'd been doing in the lab and they were really pleased with the progress she was making, so they were trying to convince her to do a PhD and stay there. My advice was basically to take money out of the equation and choose whichever path she would enjoy the most and get the most satisfaction from.
Good job Mom! 🙏 I would suggest that is an important indicator of how ... "successfully" ... you've raised her. And ... Love your response!! 👍🙂