While I was doing my stuff inside our room, it suddenly started to rain outside and I just couldn't help but to admire the scenery, the sounds of the raindrops outside became music to my ears. I was admiring how the raindrops from the sky successfully dropped the earth, as if the sky was waiting for that to happen. It sent excitement and comfort to my whole being.
I was just staring when some realizations hit me, and I couldn't help but to smile and run outside to feel the raindrops on my skin.
Photo is originally mine
Growing up, I don't really love the rain, it's not because it's so slippery outside nor because my laundry will not dry if it rains, but for the reason that it only reminds me of my traumatic childhood. Whenever the sky seems so gloomy, I always think of negative thoughts and end up praying to bring back the blue color of the sky.
I don't know if it's a coincidence or what but during my childhood days, my parents are fighting whenever it rains so every time it'll rain, I always overthink that maybe something bad will happen, or maybe my mother and father would fight again. And together with the lightning and the sounds of the rain outside, are the cries of my mother and the shouting that can be heard in the four corners of our room. I was only a child! I don't have to hear and see all of that!
It seems like the rain for me—at that time— only brings another traumatic experience to my younger self she had to endure. It was not the sound of the rain I am hearing, but the hurtful words my parents were exchanging to each other— as if they didn't love each other at all.
And I can't do anything about it! I am only at the corner , watching them fight emotionally and physically— crying as if I was crying together with the sky.
Photo is originally mine
Those things were still hunting me even until now. It brought me in tears whenever I remembered how my younger self had to endure all of that alone. I wanted to hug and comfort her and tell her everything's gonna be okay, that she doesn't have to cry because I am here and I am willing to wipe her tears— that I'm so proud of her for being strong.
I remember writing how I felt during those days in my journals, those journals witnessed how I hate the rain, how I wish to never rain again, to not witness the same painful scenario all over again. If I had the chance to read those journals, I would gladly risk it all just to read it.
REALIZATIONS AND REFLECTIONS
Photo is originally mine
Later on, I realized I was wrong for hating the rain, I was so distracted by the idea that I hate the rain to the point that I didn't notice that the rain has been my companion and the rain are the ones who comforted me in that time.
When my parents were fighting, no one was there to comfort me, no one was there to wipe away the precious tears of a child and that time only the rain had the ability to cry with me like it understood me. Perhaps, I shouldn't hate the rain for that.
My mind was so preoccupied with thinking that every time it rains— there's surely something bad will happen. When all the rain does is to share my pain with me, perhaps that's why it rains when they fight because the sky wants to comfort me and cry with me.
Photo is originally mine
Whenever I have the chance to dance under the rain, I still have doubts about what will happen because it's raining. I should've just enjoyed the moment like other children do, but instead I am doubting and having negative thoughts about what will happen after.
I am constantly praying for the time where I could have the chance to dance and play under the rain without feeling anything but pure happiness.
But it's not that easy to turn the things that remind you of your trauma into your comfort zone. It lasted when I was in my junior years, I would cry sometimes thinking of the past because the rain outside reminds me of those things, it was like it was already marked through my soul and there's no way to erase those marks.
But as we grow older, we really have this realization and reflections that come up on our minds. I realize that it is way harder for me to endure those traumatic childhood experiences without the rain, and probably the cut was deeper without the rain.
All along, the rain was my comfort zone and solace. Perhaps, I am just blinded by the thought of my 7 year-old self and mind you, it lasted for 7 years! But I couldn't blame my younger self for that, I was so innocent that time, and it's not my fault to think of it as I grow older.
All those childhood traumas molded me to what I've become today. I am way stronger now and more mature. I also realize that I have to let go of the past to totally heal from the damage it caused me, because if I let myself get stuck and don't help myself to step back by the things that caused me pain, how will I move forward? How will I become free from those traumas? If I was letting myself get jailed from all of it. How will I... heal??
I am not gonna lie but even until now, I'm still working on it. I'm still working on how to let go of the past, but at least there's progress! That's what is most important— trying.
Photo originally mine
This time, whenever the rain pours outside, I find solace and happiness. Happiness because, the rain reminds me of how I endure and surpass all those things and also because, my parents weren't fighting anymore during rainy weather! They're fighting during sunny days already 😂😂 kidding!
Photo originally mine
And I've got to love the rain more now! When the sky seems so gloomy, I am silently praying and even manifesting rain. I don't even care if I get sick whenever I can't stop myself from running and feeling the raindrops on my skin, so far it is one of the best things I ever did!
I can't just resist the serene beauty and the therapeutic sounds of the rain that I failed to see years ago! Aside from that, since I love sleeping it was really so therapeutic to sleep during rainy days, and when I'm sad and it started raining, I feel comforted and embraced, I feel like I am not alone.
By those realizations above, I know I'm way closer to finally letting go of those painful things I have experienced. I'm way closer to finally finding the peace of mind my younger self had always been wanting. I'm way closer to being fully healed.
This time, I knew I had survived the storms, I learned how to dance with the rain. This is finally the aftermath of my storms.
Photo originally mine
*“ Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance with the rain. ”Vivian Greeze
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I want to congratulate you for surviving the storms! I know it must've been hard but I am happy how you found solace in something you once disliked.
There will be hard times ahead, but there will always be something better after! Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts. I hope to read more of your blogs!😊
Hellooo lovely @higeeyuh!! It was quite tough but yess!! I made it, and I am so proud of myself because of that.
I am so excited to share my blogs to you sooner, thank you for reading and have a great day ahead ❤️❤️❤️
Can I just say that you're beautiful? I came across your post and it's not just the captivating writing but you being the visual too! And yes, when we learn to dance with the rain, the melody becomes clearer and we forget ...we forget it all in that second of serenity. Xoxo
Omg hi @mesonia! I didn't know that haha! But anyways thank you so much, I appreciate the compliment, I'm glad you're captivated by my writing ^_^
I guess I'll have to see you around! Have a great day ahead ❤️❤️❤️
Lovely and captivating @douceink, Everything that happens has a reason for happening. We always find answers at the end if we pay attention. Thanks for sharing this wonderful writing. Enjoy your weekend.
Thank you for reading @sunshine29! I really appreciate the compliment especially that it comes from a lovely lady like youu 🥺🥺. Have a great day ahead ❤️❤️❤️
@douceink...
Hello, dear soul... Powerful, Motivational, and True to life... But before I go on. Please browse through the guidelines of our community; we require everyone to source the images used in their posts. Let your readers know what device you have used; we want to curate your post!!
Wes...
Oh I'm really sorry for that, I will surely source the images I've used. Thank you so much for reading ❤️❤️❤️
@douceink...
No reason to be sorry... I see you have just started your journey on our blockchain. So I am trying to help elevate your awesome and help you to succeed. Anytime you interact in the various communities... whether here on the blockchain. Or in any Discord Server. Always read and understand the respective guidelines that have been presented. Here is where you can find ours, in the link below...
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I will check back soon, to finish chatting with you!
Thank you so much for understanding @wesphilbin!! Take your timee and God bless ☺️☺️☺️
We appreciate you taking the time, to either use #ThoughtfulDailyPost, or otherwise help this Community grow. So...
Thank you!!
I, too, have traumatic memories of my parents fighting each time they met, usually on public transport. That was already after my father left us.
What I wanted to say is that you should maybe work on those feelings. It was not your job to wipe your mother's tears. You were the child and you needed love and protection. Not the other way around.
And, yes, like others have said in the comments, you are beautiful! Keep dancing!
Indeed! But I'm still thankful I've got to get through those traumatic memories. Thank you for the compliment! I really appreciate it 🥰🥰
Anw, thank you for reading and have a great day ahead ^_^
I'm so sorry to heard that, I wanna hug you really really tight right now, but I just want you to know that I am so proud of you pretty for overcoming those painful days, and keep those smile of yours cause your so pretty wearing that, and please stay strong and if you need someone to talk to you can chat me anytime pretty (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
Aww 🥺🥺 thank you so much @alycha! I really appreciate youu. I will surely wear this smile y'all give me, so thankful to have people like you around me 🥺🥺
Rain can evoke sadness in someone, yet it's also therapeutic. ☺️ When I was once like your age, rain also had a big impact on my young emotions, but now as an adult, I see rain with it's benefits it gives to the earth and people.
I'm glad that you have overcome the sadness you feel every time it rains. You're smart and strong enough to turn that wound into wisdom. 🤗😍
Let's dance in the rain next time!
Indeed! Rain is really therapeutic. I'm so glad too that I've got to enjoy the rain now! Thank you so much for readingg 🥺☺️ I would love to dance in the rain with you soon ma'am @callmesmile !! Have a great day ahead ♡˖꒰ᵕ༚ᵕ⑅꒱
This is so inspiring...
It's giving
Thank you so much for readingg ☺️☺️ I really appreciate the time you've given just to read my blog. Have a good day ahead (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤
You're welcome