To a few people, I'm bad, someone who doesn’t keep promises, someone who walks away from his word. To be honest, I won't deny that there are many to whom I haven't kept my word. I feel sorry for that.
The question is, “Why am I doing so even after knowing this is wrong?”
Actually, I am not doing this intentionally, nor do I have any personal enmity either. All I am getting punished by is the situation, which is making me do so. I know I am spoiling the relationship, breaking the trust, losing my weight. The belief people used to have in my words is getting tarnished; things will never be the same. I know the cost, yet I am continuing just because I don't have any other way to fix this right away, even though I am trying my best.
Life is like this, you earn your respect throughout the whole year or via continuous efforts. But there will be some moments that are alone able to ruin them all. All you've got is nothing but to stay still and watch things go in vain.
How to fix things again like before?
Well, I feel like going back to the days of how I earned it. A few might not be applicable to today's situations, as back then, I wasn't in the worst situation like today. And that's where the problem is, due to my worsened situation, I was in need of that help, but I am not able to fulfill the payback. Yeah, so to be like before, I must restore my situation, the financial stability, that's what matters the most. With that comes all other things that make me bold and fluent in my words. By that, I meant the ability to keep pace that made me like it before. Kinda confusing, right? Leave it here.
I got plans, could be like the usual ones that get failed and make things even more terrible. But this time, let's go with the positive vibe, count this one going to be a the one to bring me back to stability, one that helps to reduce
suffering, one that truly restores the value. But how? By dint of my hard work, obviously. Yeah, I don't know if it's gonna be cast evil eyes, but I am doing my level best. Spending the sleepless nights in front of the computer screens, waking up early to rush to the office, and coming back via local transportation, tired me sit again on the pc because I can't rest, I have tons of stuff to do.
You know what, I just pray and hope that all these will pay me one day, take me to the place which I dream of, will help me to get rid of all the stuff that is bothering me. These are my motivation, these are my driving force that kept me on track regardless of failing over and over again.
They say, “The darker the night, the nearer the dawn.” So yeah, this worst situation could be the sign of coming opportunities. Let's hope for the best..