We think hiding what we truly feel looks very cool. Acting strong despite the heartbroken happenings. Choosing to smile instead of crying. All of it indeed covers the sadness inside. The question is, "who are we fooling?" The people who don't care that much or ourselves who feel suffocating because we can't express the real emotions?
When you felt lonely, was there someone to accompany you? When you were crying, was there someone to comfort you? Was I thinking wrong that there were people around you when you made them happy? Was it absurd to think that they were just there when everything was happy moments?
I didn't mean to be rude but I was just wondering how important those people are for you to fake what you're feeling when they are around? What was your reason for abandoning the real you just because of them? Were they the ones to help you to be what you are right now? Were they the ones responsible for that happiness you showed a long time ago? I couldn't stop myself from thinking why you decided to be that kind of person even though you're just suppressing the real you?
There's nothing wrong with fitting in a room. There's nothing wrong with being part of a group and sharing the same thoughts. What's wrong is that you force yourself even though it's hurting you inside. The reason you're hurting is because of them and yet you continue? Are you that desperate to have friends when there are so many ways to be happy alone? I'm sorry but I just thought pretending to be someone else when with people is foolishness.
When the beauty fades it will be back. When loneliness strikes it doesn't mean it stays forever. There are times we feel sad but it's normal and I think it's part of being normal. If we are feeling pain it just means we are alive. It's part of living in this world of those pains and failures. You can't have the sweetness of success if you don't experience a downfall. You can't enjoy life more when you don't experience being alone.
Stop pretending and be honest with yourself. There's no harm in telling what you really feel inside. If they don't understand you when you're just being honest, then they're not worth it to be by your side. If they're imagining a false world where everything is happy moments. My God, they don't deserve to be with you because they can't face life with that kind of thinking.
We can live only once in this world and yet we're not living the way we want it. It's time for you to wake up in reality. Don't wait for you to regret it later because you couldn't do the things you wanted. Don't let yourself be in despair because you'll realize it's impossible to go back to the time that you should do the right thing. We don't own the time, that's why if we have the chance we should grab it and smack it as we desire it to be.
If you want to be happy, be happy. If you want to cry, then cry. If you want to say mean words because they are too much, say them. If you want to be alone sometimes, reject their offer. Nothing will change if they treat you as someone special. They will understand and will not be disappointed by you. They can tell that it's how you feel.
Don't be afraid to have misunderstandings because you're building a bond with someone. People fight because they're treating someone close to them. If you hate that kind of situation, then start thinking if you want to make friends. The world rotates not just because of them. You're part of the rotation so don't hesitate to do your thing. Always remember that everyone in this world deserves the life they want. It means you deserve it as well so don't sweat on it and stop pretending just because you're afraid of the outcome.
Thank you for reading
All content is my own unless otherwise noted
If images are being recycled, I just found it fitted to my article.
ABOUT ME
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Paul is the name but prefers to be called mrnightmare that feels like living in the dream. A country boy and a dreamboy (dreamer) who likes to stay in a small village even though it means abandoning the future to become a seaman. The passion is writing but not sailing in the vast ocean. Don't wonder if the face will not be shown, this is better where the words can flow smoothly. Come, have fun with me talking about life events and random activities. It's fun to learn about life, don't hesitate, let's figure it out as we continue enjoying staying in this world.
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