Raising children isn't an easy feat. The way the world changes rapidly these days one can only pray for God to guide one's children. I have seen many children that were raised well by their parents and the moment they are away from their parents they change to something different. While some parents don't even try or bother training their children, some of the children in this case that I know end up growing without respect and training while some I know have been given good behavior by God already and trained themselves to be different from their parents.
When it comes to my parents, I can say they did their best in training my siblings and me. Although there are some things that they did their best in but still we the children were just too stubborn to emulate, for example, my mom tried her best to train us not to fight among each other, but still, we were like cats and dogs staying in one house. My siblings and I love each other and hardly keep malice against each other for so long but fighting was something that my mom herself couldn't help. We could fight two times a week and at the end of the week you will see us all outside making jokes and laughing together and ask ourselves "Is it not the same people that wanted to pull the roofdownyesterdayyweightingg?". LOL, funny right?
My dad wasn't really around most of our childhood because of his job. So our whole bringing up was left to my mom. One thing I can proudly and strongly support that was one of the best parts of my upbringing by my mom was the fact that she made sure to bind us together. When she noticed that she had done all she could to stop us from fighting but it still didn't work she would tell us every time we fought "You guys are your only siblings, so as you guys are fighting just know that you can't buy or order a new brother or sister," it was funny to me back then when she will say it and sit us down and tell us the same thing, but now I can see what it did and what she meant. When bringing up my children I would make sure that they are close to each other, it is not just about being siblings but it is about the relationship and bond that is formed between siblings. Because when there is a strong love no matter the misunderstanding or problem it can never change the fact that they are the same blood.
Although my mom did very well in our upbringing, the discipline, and every other thing. There is still one thing that I didn't see fit and even now she says she regrets it. In my family, we were very quiet and reserved even though we fought like cats and dogs, but my senior sister one of the twins was very different from all of us in a way, she was someone who wanted to be free and explore the world right from when we were little. And my mom saw that and increased the pressure on her with the fear of her being wayward. She treated my sister differently and it was very obvious that, as a child when you are treated differently from your siblings it will surely affect you. The more she pressured my sister the more my sister pushed back, the more she pushed against going to parties the more my sister went for parties, the more she pushed against my sister's dressing the more it became worse, and then my sister said she wanted to become a musician and my mom fought against it telling her that she should instead be a gospel musician. After everything, my sister just did whatever she wanted. Nowadays my mom noticed that my sister does things in a way that she felt would always oppose her and it made her hardly take advice from people she did whatever she felt like and told her to do, and I always catch my mom regretting it and now my mom is the most supportive person to my sister, people that were like constant enemies and fighting against each other's will are now like best friends. When I become a parent I will make sure not to oppose or pressure my child much and be supportive in their decisions sometimes no matter what.
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Many of us are familiar with your mother's efforts to maintain peace in the middle of 'cat and dog' moments. It's great to learn how your family's closeness remained strong despite the occasional scuffle. Your mother's advice on sibling relationships is invaluable; after all, you can't simply order a new brother or sister online 😄
Your sister's rebellious era turning into a peaceful relationship with your mother is a typical instance of parental progress and understanding. Who knew that the ambitious musician would eventually meet her strongest supporter?
Thank you for your kind words! Indeed, my mother's wisdom in nurturing our sibling bonds has been a cornerstone of our family's strength. It's heartwarming to see how even amidst the 'cat and dog' moments, her advice on sibling relationships rings true. And yes, witnessing my sister and mother's journey from conflict to camaraderie has been a testament to the power of parental understanding and support. It's a reminder that sometimes, the strongest bonds emerge from the most unexpected places.
It is always good to support the children in their decision because it is their life and they have to live. So interrupting with their life isn't a good thing.
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Absolutely, respecting children's autonomy and supporting their decisions can empower them to navigate their own paths. Thank you for the encouragement and for the ecency upvote from @ahmedhayat! Let's continue to spread positivity and support.
This was really soulful to read. I can understand how children tend to become the opposite of what you want them to be when you keep mounting incessant pressure on them.
I do hope your sister is alright and that your Mom doesn't live in so much regret.
A truly beautiful piece!