It was when mom died that I realized how hard life would be for me, especially realising how dad wouldn't be able to take care of us, especially since we were already out of secondary school and waiting to enter university. My mom had always been doing everything for me and my siblings and I never felt ashamed when she was buying underwear for me.
It was easier to tell her what I needed and she was always getting them for me when she had it. I so much relied on her that even when I had some little change, I found it hard to take from it to buy personal stuff for myself but to ask Mom for money.
But when she left us, it was like someone hitting my chest with a hard stone and bringing me to the reality that no one would do all this for me again — I was all alone and had no one to cry to for what I needed.
It was hard to tell Dad to give me money for bras, pants and the like as I wasn't free with him to that extent.
I had a little independent experience when I went for my NCE programme in the year 2012 and though I wasn't under my parents where I could be controlled and monitored, I was all by myself, making decisions and going to classes without anyone waking me early to do those things. I knew I was supposed to be at the lecture hall by 8 am and should get up on time to get dressed, but then I was still getting some pocket money and academic fees. I didn't consider myself being an independent lady then.
The first time I completely saw myself as an independent lady and one no one had to tell me about was when I started making money for myself. That was in my 200 level in the second semester when I decided to face Hive platform committedly. At that time, it was my big sis who encouraged me to go back to school for my degree and volunteered to pay my school fees till I finished school. While she was busy sending me school fees and sometimes, some change to help myself with, I was taking care of my feeding with the money gotten from this platform.
The independent stage was more obvious when I gave out #80,000 ($80) to my brother which was the biggest money I had to sacrifice for the first time to my sibling who cried for help because he wanted to go to school that year. It dawned on me how my life started without depending on anyone again other than being depended on by my siblings. I even told my sister not to send the last school fees when I was confident that I could pay it on my own but she insisted on staying on her word to pay the fee all through till I was done.
Ever since then till now, it has been me taking care of myself and not relying on anyone. I saw life for what it is and while also learning lots of lessons in my adulthood age and understanding how being independent could be, sometimes hard, especially in the aspect of making decisions on your own, I knew I should tighten my belt well so as not to regret some vital things in my life. So far today, I am enjoying that stage and knowing I could take care of myself and not wait for someone to do that for me has greatly helped me grow into the lady I have become today.
Thanks for your time reading. Looking forward to your interaction.
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I think we can face the reality when mother doesn't stay with us. In your face you faced the same situation. Good to know that now you are financially independent and you can take care of your own need. Hive indeed a blessing for us.
Indeed, Hive is a blessing to us and we are more than lucky to be here too. Thank you, Intishar.
Being trained by a single parent is a tough life. It’s great you are getting it all together.
Yes, you are right. It's not easy
This testimony inspired me to be more committed on hive.
Yes, please do. I promise you will love this platform more. It has great benefits for those who are here.
Having to loss your mom who has been your great support suddenly like that must have been really hard.
I'm proud 😆 to see how far you have come and are now capable of taking care of yourself. There is nothing sweeter for someone, especially a lady making her own money😋
It was so hard that for weeks, I was still not believing I could live without a mother 💔 but thank God for life today. It has been a wonderful experience and journey. Thank you, ma 😘
Mom will be so proud of you now looking down from heaven Princess. !LUV
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Thank you 😊 💓
So sorry about your loss, I know how life must have been for you in the past, I've been in that stage before but I got a little older before mine passed away so I understood the word independent, your sister is the best for coming through for you and for telling you to further your education that's something incredible I admire.
Yes, I also admired my sister's efforts till I was done with school. No other person who loves you would even do that. Thank you 😊
You're welcome
Wow!! Princess you’re one brave Bear😰
Hehehe. Brave bear you think? If you say so 🤣
There is so much joy in being responsible , although it's not easy. Life is a process, as long as we remain in our comfort zone we will not be able to grow into what we ought to be. Sorry about mom, it's painful to loss a loved one. I am happy that the demise didn't break you but moulded you into a better person.
Yes, her demise moulded me into who I am today. Perhaps I would have remain comfortable in my comfort zone rather than moving out to see what life has for me out there and I am glad things worked out for a reason. Thank you, Emreal.
Exactly ma, better days are coming ahead. I enjoyed reading through 🥰
Thank you, Emreal.
You are always welcome ma 🥰
Sorry about the lost of your mom. Glad to hear that you can comfortably take care of yourself and that of your siblings. May God continue to bless your hustle
Amen 🙏
Thank you so much
This is a testimony, nice one princess! the bosslady herself
our present is better than the past, may the future be better than the present
Hehehe. The big boss himself too 😊
Thank you for reading my post and for your comment too. I appreciate it.
Amen to your prayer 🙏
Mother's death always has away of Maki children face the reality. The good thing about being independence is that it makes you work harder and face life fears for good. Look at you now, fending for yourself and supporting your family too.
I must admit that decision making is always difficult but for me, I do not hesitate to seek for Advice when I am in a confused state
Same with me too, I seek advice when needed so as not to do things hurriedly which would make me regret it. Being independent is always a big stage in one's life because it brings the brave being in you.
Thank you for reading and leaving a lovely comment.
Thank you for the support.
I am very sorry to know about you losing your mom at a young age. I lost my dad about 5 years ago and I was already a middle aged man by then, and yet there are times I wish he was around. I can only guess the impact that loss would have had on you and your family.
I appreciate the path you have highlighted and the thinking that had gone behind getting independent. I hope young people read this and align themselves in the same manner. One does not necessarily have to go through the same experiences to learn good habits from each other.
Cheers from a fellow #dreemerforlife
Yes, you are right. No one shouldn't wait till they go through same experiences before learning their lessons or inculcating good habits. Life has been good since my mom's death and I am glad for the path I chose and seeing myself now is a proof of my unrelenting habit.
Thank you so much for reading and leaving a beautiful comment.
Life is independence is really interesting. It feels happy to see yourself grown into that maturity of being able to take care of your needs. However it needs courage and hardwork and I am happy you are that hardworking type.
So sorry for the demise of your mother, it isn't easy to cope without a mom at an early age as that.
Yes, being independent requires one to be courageous and hardworking to live a good life. Thank you for reading my post.
Uwlc ma
Wow!_ this is quite touching. It's good to know that you're well to do now even after all you've been through.
#dreemerforlife
There you go my teacher.
This is an awesome post.
You don't know how independent you have grown.
So not anymore should we say "adulthood na scam"
It is just a stage of responsibility.
Keep it up.
#dreemerforlife
Yes. Adulthood isn't scam, it's a stage we must go through. Thank you so much for your comment.
Ever since I got insulted and disappointed at my lowest moment. I picked up myself and swore never to be dependent and that was the best decision I made.
Keep pushing gurl, the Sky is only but a starting point ❤️🌹
#dreemerforlife
Yes, being dependent on someone could bring some sorts of embarrassment and disappointment too but it stops when we fight it to becoming independent and never depending on anyone. It also make you a boss on your own. That feeling is always amazing.
Yes my dear 🤝
Most times, the circumstances we face in life get to build us in ways we never imagined.
You are absolutely right on this. We would never imagined doing some things on our own until situations happens and we find ourselves doing them. Thank you for your comment.
Wow. You have really come a long way in standing and doing things by yourself. When we are faced with some challenges, we get mature more than our age. Keep achieving greatness, dear.
Yes, we keep getting mature once we take up that means of taking care of ourselves. That stage isn't easy but we keep going.