MAKING YOURSELF A PRIORITY is an important topic of discussion in today's world. I think we need a constant reminder about this, at least for the sake of our mental health.
That reminds me, I received mail a few days ago, and part of it read, and I quote, "Overextending isn't generosity. It's depletion. Concentrate your God-fueled light within your limits and shine even brighter".
On the quest to please others, choosing others, such as our loved ones and friends, as top priority, we keep being so generous in many things and in many ways, exceeding limits and suffering depletion in some aspects of our lives. It felt that the mail was made for me. I just needed someone to remind me of that again, that I need to really set boundaries and choose myself; it's not selfishness but a path to make me shine even brighter.
If I must be sincere, choosing myself has been a struggle over the years, especially after becoming a mom. I remember how much I set myself as top priority back then as a single, but having my ovaries around nowadays, it has become a hassle to keep up. Just yesterday, I was sharing with a friend how I visited the hospital a few months ago, and it was discovered that I had a low blood level, though not bad, but it needed to be attended to. I was told to see a doctor the next week for some drugs. Before my appointment with the doctor arrived, my son had a terrible health challenge, and I kept running around with him.
It took longer before he got stable, and I completely forgot my doctor's appointment. My son's welfare ruled out my own health; can you imagine that? I forgot myself, my health, and my own welfare. I was no longer the top priority, but my kids were. It's not supposed to be that way, but sometimes, I overextend, to the detriment of my health. Where is self-love? What happened to choosing myself? It's all about balance so that you won't die first and the person you are running to care for lives. It's that simple.
However, I am learning hard to never neglect myself for any reason, no matter the expectation I want to reach; there is no need to impress friends at the expense of my happiness. I think I am doing better on that now but really need to keep adjusting until I get a great balance. It's good to show up for your friends, your colleagues, your family, and church members, but not to keep doing so until you break down.
I have learned to set boundaries, emotionally, financially, and otherwise. Yea, I needed that. It's self-worth too.
I have also started to know when my body needs relaxation and some fun activities that make me genuinely happy, and I go for it, regardless of responsibilities around. It's self-love; it's choosing myself. No one will do that for me but me.
At times, even when my mind will be saying, "Nkem, keep pushing," I will remind the mind that my body is not a machine, and quickly, I will activate rest mode without caring for any undone work at home. No week goes by without me observing my me time these days.
It's my reality I have embraced so dearly because when I jealously show self-love to myself, I feel refreshed emotionally, physically, and otherwise, good enough to attend to the needful, and life goes on.
Now I know the origin of that quote now 😀😀
Yes, it’s important we don’t go overboard taking care of others while neglecting ourselves, too but most importantly, we shouldn’t in the quest of self-love forget that God owns us and we must put Him first, even before ourselves. This means, not trying to do things our own way but letting God handle the major part for us and that can give us enough rest we need when we try to involve Him.