Making inquiries before going in to meet was a good idea.
Law should allow children or adults to make contact around eighteen years of age for child. Many crave the knowledge of not wishing to change their current family situation, just knowing who their biological parents are.
Yeah, I'd like to see a 'free contact period'- I think. I'd have been a lot less prepared at 18 than I was at 68. I suspect with my particular family it would have made very little difference. God, I'd have been so conflicted at 18. I mean really.
I'd really like to see genetic records. By the time I got any I had already out lived most of the obvious threats :)
Why I mentioned a specific younger age is I grew up with a brother and sister adopted into a family. The sister was very troubled wishing to learn more about her mother, on finding out was distraught, turning to drugs. The brother never wished to know, grew up, grew old quite happy that his parents could have found him if they wished to.
Living in the same town for almost 40 years, one person I came to know has two sons and happily married. Out of nowhere another older boy arrived at their home one day having tracked his mother down. Mother had given child up for adoption, husband never knew, brothers were shocked and amazed, different families different reactions.
Lastly, a young lady I know reasonably well had a son and daughter when young, gave up her son to her parents, and adopted the daughter to a family unbeknown to all. She did however stipulate a term, in conditions of adoption, the daughter be made aware of her biological mother at 18 years of age for genetic records and any other information she may wish to obtain. Adoption parents kept their promise, child on reaching age of 18 met her brother, mother and biological grand parents they all keep in contact which is for once a better ending than not knowing at all.
Life is never cut and dried, having recourse to law may just assist families to know one another.
Here and now the laws are changed. Adoptees have rights to find their biological information, it's pretty clean and secure. I fell into a completely different category because I am old :)
Where I grew up there was a story about a man that died of heart failure at age 38. His son grew up to also die at 38 from heart failure. The son never knew he was adopted. I do not know the validity of that story, except for two men that died very early about 25 years apart.
One more thing. When I took my special needs sister to lunch to celebrate the end of quarantine for her from Chemo not Covid she told me that's she's going to check out her mother. I just happen to know that her file at the adoption agency contains extensive biological information and a letter from her mother. We know a part of her story, but she's now decided she wants to know the rest. Our mother encouraged us all to find out, she'd be incredibly happy for me if she were here.