One of the factors that holds us back from achieving our goals is fear—usually fear of the unknown. It's that point where we imagine the worst of a situation and try to stay on the safer side, and this has limited us from going for greater goals that are unfamiliar to our state of comfort.
At one point in my life, I was afraid of trying new things, not because I wasn't educated enough to handle them, but because I feared rejection. I stopped applying for jobs, I stuck to the things I was familiar with, and gave excuses for almost everything that was new. It was usually the question: "What if I fail or am rejected?" and that was enough to hold me back.
Fear is cancerous; it spreads and leaves no room for faith. I was supposed to start a business some years ago. I was funded, but then this familiar stranger came and filled my thoughts with the "what ifs." Gradually, I started to doubt the success of the business until I gave up even before it began. Fear looks like a safe place, but gradually it keeps us in that spot where growth does not find a resting ground.
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Overcoming fear
I was able to learn one secret that broke this bandage, and that was "doing it afraid." I admit I'm afraid, but I do it anyways. Humans fear so many things, and at one point it's normal to have that feeling, but we don't just listen to that voice—we go ahead and do it anyways.
Secondly, it was important to understand that rejection is a myth. All that happens is we tell ourselves stories. If we seek a job and do not get an appointment, everything remains the same. We didn't have a job before we applied, and we still didn't get a job after we applied. It only gets bad if we go around telling ourselves that we are not good enough. So there was never any rejection; the pain comes from what we tell ourselves.
Instead of responding negatively to people's "no," we can take each "no" as a platform to improve. All that we fear lives in our response to events. While fear lives, we should do it anyways.
You're correct. Our ability to reject all negative responses and do it, is the beginning of growth.
Well done! 👍
!ALIVE
Yeah, thanks for your comment
It's my pleasure!
I agreed with almost everything you said, except for the part about rejection being a myth. Because I have faced outright rejection when submitting proposals for books, short stories, and other publications. So, yes, rejections are real—because they don't like what I write, because they have a different approach, or simply because they don't understand it conceptually. Sometimes, I've even been rejected for being Latino, without even evaluating the quality of the manuscript. So yes, the fear of rejection can stem from real experience; it's not just something imagined. However, one can learn from those rejections to improve their craft.
Thank you for your feedback. Let me empathize a little on that part where you were rejected.
There's a rule that says
"Some will, some won't, so what- Someone's waiting"
Its part of life that you wouldn't get a yes all the time. It only gets bad if you think every No is because you're not competent. A No doesn't mean you're not good, it only means -this is not it.
What brings hurt and pain is what you think after every No
That's so true. And we can apply it to everything new we want to do, if it doesn't work it doesn't change our present at all, but we do get some new experiences and knowledge from it.
Yeah, that's truw