You Are The One

▶️ Watch on 3Speak

Note: Mainstream Social Media in this content refers to Facebook and Instagram specifically. I don't know much about Twitter as my f for UR already Perfect was on mental health and addiction related information for teenagers.

But Google is so blatantly involved that it's actually rude (probably rude to not include them since they are so blatantly blatant).

It must be cool to have so much money that you think you're untouchable, huh?

_{We wait to see what the Aussie courts have to say next ^😏}

I recently updated a track and a video created to raise awareness about the effects of mainstream social media on its users back in 2022.

The original article was written in 2021. Edited to be more direct in 2023.

The track and video ^{created in 2022 in a consistent effort to raise more awareness that began in 2019} has been updated because using Hive, instead of my old mainstream social media accounts, for almost a year has softened my voice substantially again.

Yeah. This is me with a softer voice. Although some folks around here may doubt it. I was far more traumatized and far angrier a year or so ago. Mostly because of the dishonesty and bullshit mainstream media rewards in its users.

What I loved most about Hive, when I joined in June 2022, was that the blockchain rewards its users for engaging. "If that's what it takes for people to be decent, less competitive and to connect," I thought, "then I'm totally down with it!"

More... these who enjoy connecting and uplifting others naturally will thrive faster than those who come in with a more mainstream headspace based on me, me, me. ^{now proven fact} And connecting around here may even "reprogram" such behaviour over time. ^{still a Dreamer}

~~Like.~~ UpVote.

Of course, only humans are everywhere and you have to focus on finding your kindreds. No judgement. Of course. ^{still punting non-judgement as the first practice to real self awareness for the next bit of the journey ^😉}

Nothing is perfect and everything already is perfect. The only time I keep some distance is when there's a lack of accountability. For my own health and safety. Of course.

I've found Hive shows, on an ongoing basis, interest in the same principles and values I have and, to boot, there are some really great people around here. As perfectly human as I am. Love it.

The rockstars can fuck off, quite frankly.

I'm too old and too comfortable in my pajamas to be a groupie.

Or a rockstar.

So why do I keep on moaning about mainstream social media anyway?

Well... I've been forced to slow down on content creation and am finally taking the time... almost one year in and passed since I said I'd be doing this... to move some of my old content to the blockchain.

Also. Meta hasn't changed its ways and, in fact, seems to only be getting worse.

I'd never be cheeky enough to post the exact same old stuff around here, though. So I'm also updating it a bit with new learning and a softer me.

Yep. This is a softer me. I will, and it's probably better in a pretty fierce world, never be as soft as I once was. Life happens and it changes us. Sometimes forever.

And that's okay.

Now.

So back to why the big mainstream bastids should be abandoned for mental health reasons alone...

Mainstream Social Media is Designed to be Addictive

The web developers, coding for Meta, are using the same algorithms used in casino slot machines to give a user’s brain hits of the neurochemical Dopamine to get them addicted.

They save up notifications and release them in one go. Users get the “high” of a well-timed “jackpot”. The developers are intentionally targeting brain chemistry, and regions in the brain, that are directly responsible for the mechanisms of the addictive cycle.

Their intention is to addict people and to keep them using their platforms as much as possible.

So that they can advertise to them and profit. Of course.

Mainstream Social Media Encourages Dishonesty

About "Meta-communication"... ^{how ironic, huh?}

This type of communication happens between human beings when they are in the same physical space, where vocal tone, eye contact and body language are factored into the exchange.

There are many different aspects and layers of communication. We know this. It's how our brains figure out what is safe and when we should run or fight. It happens in milliseconds and it doesn't require an exchange of words at all.

Now we text someone if they are in the same room. We lie easily about how we are feeling (*smiley emoji). We can be whoever we want to be online.

Our exchanges are brief and summarised. Too brief to get a real sense of, and enough input, to understand a whole, complex, entirely different human being. Misinterpretation is easy. Lying is easier.

Connection can be feigned, completely imagined, or both. A form of communicating that is ripe for misunderstanding is now our preferred way to “talk.” (*worried face emoji or rolling eye emoji, depending on who is reading this, what will resonate with you most and keep you reading longer)

Honest, vulnerable, REAL connection is how we feel validated and “seen.” Real connection is vital for good mental health. Honest sharing encourages much-needed support and validation in stressful times.

Safely, annually recycled memes that folks are confident will attract "Likes", anyone? ^{yawn, already}

And the death of originality, personal creativity and the avoidance of authenticity rewarded.

~~Unlike~~ Downvote.

Throw in a good handful of misunderstanding and you have people's attention, I guess.

Which leads me to...

Mainstream Social Media Rewards Acrimony & Anti-Social Behaviour

Angry exchanges are common any time that we talk about the things that matter to us.

Gone are the simple personal updates on Facebook. Hello to mainstream politics and news. ^{and tons of advertising, of course!}

Because what do people fight about most? Well...

Mainstream social media algorithms bump up posts with high engagement. That’s their job. To give you what they think you want, to keep your valuable attention.

People love a good, messy, mess and a fight. A car crash. A train wreck. As long as it isn’t them involved, of course. This is a less than admirable, and commonly acknowledged quirk of human nature.

Mainstream social media is rewarding the gritty, less kind and humanitarian side of human nature, mathematically, because that's what sells, and that's what we ~~respond~~ react to the most.

Mainstream Social Media is Linked to Mental Health Issues

People want them likes and they market themselves to get them.

No being a messy only human allowed.

We see only, mostly, snippets of the most enviable parts of people’s days. With filters.

This leaves people who are struggling with personal challenges, feeling even worse. This also leaves people, pretending that they are living a rock ‘n roll lifestyle, isolated and alone when their dopamine high wears off.

Different drug of choice. Same comedown.

People aren't encouraged to share honestly, vulnerably, openly, or consciously on mainstream social media. Not even remotely. There's nothing wrong with being human. There's nothing wrong with being real.

Yet here they are, encouraging people and the kids, to sell themselves as perfect, to lie about who, how, and what they are.

Or to not post at all.

Isolation during challenging times creates trauma.

Mainstream Social Media uses People's Personal “Triggers” to Manipulate them

They are listening. No, it’s not hippy, conspiracy rubbish.

Your clicks, your data — everything that you do on mainstream social media — is being recorded. The big platforms are using this data to build, apologies — have built - a psychological profile of you.

They know what you are likely to click on. They know what is going to provoke you into a reaction.

They are using this information to manipulate your online journey.

Why? Follow the money. Again.

Every trigger that they provoke will probably make you react to a post that they want you to engage with. And if you've been using Meta and Google for a while they already know what you'll stop to read, comment on and/or share.

And the “popularity” of said posts will make them more visible on social media. They can use your own triggers to get you to share what they want to share. And they have.

Are you feeling uneasy yet?

Emotional and psychological manipulation is, exactly, what a narcissistic/psychologically and emotionally abusive relationship runs on. These relationships are based on two things alone. Power and Control. And maintaining this over the victim. By triggering and then "rewarding" users, mainstream social media is able to create the same "trauma bond" created in abusive relationships.

Another form of addiction and the addictive cycle.

Very difficult to heal and break free from, by the way...

Mainstream Social Media is kinda Abusive

Using shame, guilt, and rejection to “discipline” people is a form of abuse. End of story.

In fact, people that are raised in families where guilt, shame, and rejection are used to “teach” them (think power and control again) how to behave, develop addiction and mental health “disorders” later on in life.

Long-term emotional and psychological abuse results in PTSD and C-PTSD, which both present as mental health issues and often result in addiction problems as survivors try to self-medicate. It is also very difficult to treat and to heal.

Being excluded, ignored (psychologically ostracized) or shamed, publicly, by the pack can be a very traumatic experience for a human being. We are pack animals and our basic instinct is wired as a need to be a part of the group in order to, literally, survive.

If a person steps away from the general consensus on social media they are often punished with no likes or comments or outright written attacks.

The brain is not as clever as we think it is. In fact, it can be pretty dim. It will interpret this rejection by the pack, in the same way, it will an actual live threat of extinction under the right circumstances.

"Cancel culture" and cyber bullying, anyone? This is what our kids are being raised on.

Which brings us to...

Under Pressure

My generation was the first to get this kind of tech but we were already grown and the internet was still slow. We even had to go outside to rent a Betamax Video Cassette to watch a movie at home. ^{Yeah I'm that old}

More importantly, we were 80’s kids. Railing against the system was a part of our identity. Being a rebel and a misfit was mainstream. Our generation was allowed to be angry, depressed, emo, weird and outraged. And wow, were we ever!

Nobody labeled us with mental disorders or threw us out of the pack. The messier your hair and the more smeared your makeup was the cooler you were. Nobody blinked an eye at us belligerent teenagers. When we walked out of the door we disappeared until we could find an actual phone booth if we needed to get hold of someone.

We were infinitely more “free.”

Now it is all online all of the time.

Your “connection” to whatever you need, whoever you need, whenever you need. Where you can be anything you want to when you want to. Where you can be crying and drop a smiley emoji and nobody will ever know. Where you can lie easily because nobody can see you blush. Where you can have thousands of friends, that you've never even met, who can turn on you at any time. Where you can see the Insta photos of the party you were never invited to in real-time.

Imagine being at an age when making mistakes, pimples, acne, hormonal weight gain, and all of the other beautiful, awkwardness of being human starts in full. But you are, literally, in the public eye and can not put one foot out of line.

This was one of the reasons that I never wanted to be a rock star in the first place. This, and the fact that I have never had the tenacity to learn guitar properly and have the vocal range of an enthusiastic drunk.

It was the inevitable judgment, of the less secure public eye, for not being perfect all of the time and not knowing who my real people were amid the bling. I mean...

most big rock stars ended up in rehab or dead. Let's face it. And all of their stories are unsurprisingly similar.

Now mainstream social media encourages people to promote themselves, and ruthlessly only themselves, as pop idols.

How sad. Considering so many of the sad endings to those stories...

Intentionally. Addicted. Programmed. Manipluated. Consumers. 24 / 7.

What could possibly go wrong?

Saved for the busy dad and generous human who keeps the tunes coming on #ttt. Mr @ablaze himself. Thanks for your ongoing mission to keep us connected, dude.

_{Knock knock?}

_{Bonus track because... knock knock. And the masters of being "woke". Of course.}

Additional Information

_{Am I being dramatic?}

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_{UR already Perfect
Providing free information on living harmoniously as an individual in a rapidly changing world.
Download the track for free on KoFi.}

_{Video featured image made with Canva with my images. Images edited with GIMP. Video created with Blender and updated in 2023 in YouCut}

▶️ 3Speak

Thank you for connecting :)

You most definitely are NOT stupid. I people watch. Had my eye on you for a while now. I'm curious by nature...

I know you read them. Thank you. It means a lot to me. Your attention and time.

Funny thing. About judgement...

It works positively too, you know ;)

So I'd say you're recognizing qualities in me that you have too. You're pretty interesting and unique yourself!

Your comment isn't bad with words at all. It just made my day, in fact 🪷

p.s. That inner voice that tells you you're not awesome? I'd evacuate them from your head as fast as possible. I'm pretty sure that's not even your own thinking or voice. Who could've been so cruel to make you feel that way about yourself, I wonder? 🤔

Regardless. You're a man now. You can tell that thinking to fuck off now.

Thanks again for connecting.

It's always good to see you. No pressure to comment or even reply to comments. Honestly. Yeah. I am that "weird". It's all good 💕 😊