A few days ago, I was watching a video on YouTube. The content was interesting enough that I watched it all the way through, but then there were comments and I read them.
"This guy's an idiot."
"This video has no point."
"The best thing about this video is how stupid the narrator sounds."
I could have just ignored those comments, but they bothered me so much that I felt like I had to say something. So I commented back with "No, actually, I think he's right."
One of the commenters responded by saying, "You're a moron. You don't know what you're talking about. Go away."
And I couldn't let that go. So I replied again, "I've done a lot of research into this topic. And if you'd read more carefully, you would see that I did mention that there are many ways to interpret things in different cultures. That's why I said 'some of these points may be valid.'"
And then the commenter wrote back, "If you can't even read what's written clearly in front of your face, you should shut up."
At this point, I decided to take the conversation offline, because I didn't want to make a scene on YouTube. But I still wanted to talk about this issue, so I made a post about it on a forum where I'm a member. I talked about how I felt attacked when someone disagreed with me, and asked for advice on how to handle it better next time.
Many people agreed with me, saying that they also get defensive whenever anyone criticizes their ideas. One person suggested that I write down some of my ideas before talking about them, so that I wouldn't feel the need to defend myself against criticism. Another person said that she always asks herself whether she's being overly sensitive. Then she tries to calm down and re-evaluate her thoughts.
But most people said that it's normal to be upset when someone disagrees with you. They said that everyone feels insecure sometimes, especially when they're trying to learn new things. One person pointed out that we shouldn't expect others to agree with us all the time. She said that if someone does disagree with us, it's not necessarily a personal attack; maybe they just have a different perspective than we do.
Another person said that she doesn't usually respond to people who criticize her ideas. Instead, she writes down her own ideas, makes sure that they're correct, and then shares them with the world. This way, she gets feedback from other people instead of criticizing them.
I thought about what this person said. It made sense to me. I started thinking about the ideas I'd shared in my original comment. I wondered if there were any problems with them.
So I re-read the entire thing. And I realized that I hadn't mentioned anything about the cultures of China or India. In fact, I hadn't really discussed the topic at all. I'd just stated that some of the points might be valid.
I had completely missed the point!
When I saw that, I felt embarrassed. I knew that I should have been more careful when I wrote my comment.
Now I know that I shouldn't be so quick to defend myself. And I'll try to remember to ask myself whether I'm being too sensitive before responding to someone else's ideas. After all, I don't want to miss the point. I just want to understand the world around me. This is something that everyone wants to do. But sometimes, it's hard to figure out exactly what's going on.
I'm not very good at accepting corrections or criticisms. Whenever someone points out a mistake in one of my messages, I feel angry and defensive. I feel like I'm being attacked, even though I haven't done anything wrong.
Sometimes I can't help getting mad. I start arguing back. I tell people that they're wrong, that I've already proven that I'm right. Other times, I get quiet. I don't say anything at all. Then I wonder why people are making such a big deal about my mistakes. Why do they care so much about what I write?
Maybe it's because they think I'm smarter than I am. Maybe they're afraid that I'm going to make a fool of myself. I know that these feelings are irrational. But they're still there. They're part of me.
In the past, I've tried to ignore these emotions. But I found that I couldn't do it. So now I'm learning to accept them. I'm working on controlling my reactions to criticism. I try to imagine what other people must be feeling, and how they might be reacting. For example, when someone points out a mistake in one of my posts, I try to think about what it must be like for them. I picture myself in their place, and imagine what I would feel like if someone criticized one of my ideas.
It's hard to do this. I still feel defensive when someone criticizes me. But I'm trying to think about the situation from another person's perspective. Another way I cope with criticism is to write down my thoughts. I keep a notebook with me, and whenever I come across a problem, I write it down. Then I try to find a solution.
When I look back at my notes, I realize that there's nothing wrong with the idea. I just wasn't clear enough. I can fix the problem easily. So I rewrite the comment, post or message, making it clearer. Then I share it with the rest of the world.
That's the process I use to deal with corrections and criticisms. I hope that it will help me to become a better writer.
When I first started writing, I was nervous about sharing my work with others. I didn't want anyone to criticize me. But as time went on, I realized that it's important to share your ideas with other people. You can't learn anything new without asking questions.
So I started talking to people online. I posted messages in forums, and I started a blog. I never expected to get any feedback. I just wanted to talk to people. But then I got a message from someone who disagreed with me.
They told me that my idea wasn't true. I was confused. I thought I'd explained everything clearly. What had I done wrong? I looked over my comment again. And I noticed that I'd left out a few details. I'd assumed that the reader would know certain things, but I hadn't explained them.
I realized that I'd made a mistake. When I read my comment again, I understood why the other person had disagreed with me. It was embarrassing. But I learned from it. I fixed the problem, and I wrote a follow-up post explaining the whole thing.
After that, I started receiving a lot of comments. People liked my ideas, but they also wanted to discuss them further. Sometimes I got annoyed. I didn't like having to explain myself all the time. I'd worked hard on the original idea, and I didn't want to change it. But then I realized that there was a reason for this. If I didn't answer the comments, people would think that I didn't care about their opinions. And if that happened, they wouldn't trust me anymore.
So I changed the way I interacted with people. Now I reply to every single comment. I try to understand what the other person is saying, and I offer suggestions for improving my ideas.
Unfortunately, some people more likely to be rude on social platforms... I wish I could do something about that. But I can't control what other people say. All I can do is try to stay calm, and not react too strongly.
I'm still working on this. But I think it's important to be patient with people. Sometimes, it's difficult to understand someone else's point of view. But if you listen carefully, you can usually find a solution.
I'm not perfect. I still get upset sometimes. But I know that if I keep working at it, I'll get better.
That's all I have to say today. Thank you for reading!
I was reading you and I identified myself in many aspects, in my stage when I was younger. I used to get angry when someone criticized me, I felt attacked 😲😖. Now with time, I have learned to accept criticism when it is good, that is, when it is constructive. I accept it because it helps me to improve.
But when criticism is destructive, I just let it go without worrying, because when someone attacks you with negative criticism, it has nothing to do with you, but with that same person.
In life you are always going to get these two sides of the coin. I advise you to always keep everything that adds to you and discard what subtracts or hurts you.
Remember that they say that holding resentments or being angry about what others think of you is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
A hug.
Hello, my friend. I am one of the group of people who accept a criticism or a correction depending on the way it is said to me. No more.
It sounds like you have a lot of wisdom and that's always a sign of a healthy, strong person.
🥰🥰🥰
I like that you are now trying to see two sides of the coin when you receive corrections or criticisms from other people and that you share your ideas and sentiments too. (I believe) that your approach of stepping back and taking time to see other people's perspectives is a great method instead of firing back so soon and then feeling embarrassed later. And true enough, there will always be someone who would disagree with us and that's okay too :)
As to criticisms on social forums, some can be really rude and we can only control how we react to them in a way that we won't look like fools arguing with a fool hehe.
it is very hard to meet people who not only have a different opinion but are also rude, I think that respect is above all what is needed in the world, because even when you think differently, you should respect even the right to remain silent. Thanks for sharing 😊
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Thank you!
What do i recognize myself in your story. It's almost creepy, ;-) Especcialy on an certain online forum people are some times very rude, and yes i do feel attacked too. But i kept saying to myself, they don't know you!! It's not personal, because they don't know you in person ..... and it's a help for me, to remind me of that fact. Than i cuddle my doggie, talk to my partner, or sis and try to keep quit and no longer react to those people, because the majority of them just want to tear down someone just to feel better about themselves, they don't argue with facts, but with emotions. And if i go there, i get upset and angree, so i give facts and let it be. And yes, i'm still working on that too, i just get punished by that forum, for 2 days i couln't post anything, for 7 days i was bannished from telling something in groups and for 30 days my comments are set further down. And the mean thing, at leased i think so, is that many others made the exact same comment as i did, but they woren't punished!! And that's something i get really mad about, because i think it's discriminating to me!
You are right, it is not personal and you did the right thing to keep at it. It is good to see that you are able to recognize that people don't know you in person and how hard you have worked on yourself.
There are people who are very rude on social networks, I will never understand that.
It is true that we will all issue opinions according to what we know, how we see the world and what it means to us. Someone will always disagree with you, you have to accept it, but it doesn't give us the right to be rude, you can always be kind and understand another point of view or explain your own.
We still have a lot to learn when it comes to communication.
But good that you have found a way to improve and find a balance.
It's good to know that you understand and respect my thoughts. Thank you!
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I really like your point of view, I also share the same idea you have when you mention "I realized that it is important to share your ideas with other people" because in the exchange with others there is always growth, learning, in addition to having the opportunity to broaden our perspective, since there are many truths nothing is absolute
Thank you so much for the message, I really appreciate it. It is always encouraging to get messages like these and I am happy that my point of view resonated with you.
It is important to know how to recognize when we fail and accept other people's criticisms or corrections, as long as they are accompanied by respect, at least that. Good luck on your way, greetings!
Thank you for the kind words! Your thoughts are very encouraging and much appreciated.
A pleasure Greetings!