Ladiesofhive Question: My Position (in terms of birth) in The family?

in Ladies of Hive2 years ago

Hello beautiful #ladiesofhive how are you all doing? Hope your day went well? This week's question is no doubt a thoughtful one and I feel excited typing about my position and how it has helped me but before diving into this I want to appreciate the moderators of this beautiful community thank you for all you are doing to encourage us and to @justclickindiva, thanks for this week's question. I will also like to invite @queenpriscillato to participate.

What was your position (in terms of birth) in the family? How did that experience help you become, or hinder you from becoming, a successful adult?

I came from an amazing family of six, dad and mum inclusive and I happen to be the first child of the family. Dad and mum were so happy and excited that they are now parents, after some years they thought it would be nice if I had a sibling and they did what they had to do (don't ask me what they did 🤣) and after nine months, my dad's seed was harvested and it was another baby girl. I was so happy to have a sibling and I was willing to share all I had including dad and mum's love Then I had two more siblings making us four children and me as the oldest.

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The four Musketeers 😊

Being the oldest among my three sisters has been a mix of fun, stress, demands and emotional drills. My parents invested a lot of time establishing rules for me and molding me so that I don't disappoint them, but become a model to my younger ones. Mum will always say "I am the sheep at the frontline so I had to lead by example". This has made me not to do something every regular person will do, I had to watch my speech and my feelings and this can be very drilling.

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The four of us.

As a result of my position, I have been able to cultivate leadership qualities like selflessness, discipline and goal oriented. When there is dispute between my siblings in the absence of my parents, I stand in as a judge and I do that with the mind of making peace and that has shaped the way I handle issues with people when offended. I strive to make peace even if it's the other person's fault I use my magic words more often "please and I am sorry" up until now and it has helped me maintain peace in all spheres of my interaction with people even in my marriage.

I also have managerial skill from being the first daughter to the extent that my younger ones call me "manager". Lol. I can manage everything and anything that comes my way. Adaptability is also one amazing quality I have possess over time and I know how to handle change.

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Here in Africa, first daughters are called "Ada". As the Ada of the house, I played motherly roles like cooking, going to the market, washing, taking care of my siblings and the rest, back then I saw these as stress but here I am today a mother and a wife and I am playing my role with ease. My position as a First-born made me smarter, I will rate high on my emotional stability, persistence, social outgoing, willingness to assume responsibility and my ability to take initiative as credit to my birth position.

I will be unfair to myself if I say this position is easy. It has its challenges and I sometimes wish I could swap my position. I force myself to be strong even when I am not, people expect perfection from me and want me to always take the lead in doing things even at the expense of my comfort and feelings. And when offended by my younger ones I was not allowed to express my feelings, I only get this saying "you are their elder sister act like one". How annoying and burdensome that can be.

However I have my own flaws and see myself and others as a "work in progress", but I will say I am hardworking, caring, loving, selfless, kind, compassionate, cool-headed, responsible and a reliable daughter, sister, wife and mother and I hold that to my position as the first daughter (Ada) of the house.

If you have read to this point I want you to know that regardless of your position in the family you can be anything and when I say anything I mean you can have amazing qualities and assume responsibility if you allow yourself to.

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Thanks for your supports, your comments, your upvotes, encouragements, and re-blogs. All images are mine.

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Hello @goodysam. You were the perfect "Ada" for your family. It's nice to be given responsibilities when you're younger. I understand some parents go a bit further and expect the eldest child to grow up too quickly with the burdens. However, not being allowed to express your feelings, especially when hurt, can become an emotional obstacle in your adult life.

Parents do what they feel are best and work with the knowledge and traditions they know. It sounds like you were the perfect match for your siblings. You have a beautiful family. You all look so content to be in each other's presence. What a blessing.

It's often that children don't really understand until they are an adult how their childhood helped to shape the person they are.

You are a shining example of how responsibility enhanced your life.

Thanks for sharing your story. Have a good weekend.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful words and support it means a lot.

However, not being allowed to express your feelings, especially when hurt, can become an emotional obstacle in your adult life

However it has it effects but I still manage.

If you have read to this point I want you to know that regardless of your position in the family you can be anything and when I say anything I mean you can have amazing qualities and assume responsibility if you allow yourself to.

Yes, you are correct. Being the first child doesn't mean you have to limit yourself.

🥰💃.

Thanks for expressing your view.

!LADY

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Beautiful musketeers :) Glad you learned so much from your position as an Ada. It obviously helped shape the best qualities you have as a person :)

Thanks so much. It was really a huge factor but not an easy one. 💃

!LADY

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I can understand the pressure that might come with being the first in line, but it sounds like you've handled it very well! Thanks for sharing and have a lovely day!

Thanks so much.

It wasn't fun then but the results has really helped me.

Have a lovely day too 🥰