It's hard to have that kind of burden, to see in yourself what the older son couldn't do, so you had to be good for both of them.
Being and feeling good alone is not a bad thing, in fact it is essential to feel comfortable with yourself in order to be with someone else.
In life you have the choice to be like your parents or treat your children better, so don't be afraid of that. Just make better choices.
I will hopefully. Thank you!