Hello @wolfofnostreet. Wow, what an impactful story history you have as the last born child. I understand a bit of it. Parents do the best they can with what they now. I understand my parents did. You don't realize that until later that they didn't know the best way. They probably emulated what they'd seen growing up.
Your assessment of you how your childhood spilled over into your adulthood is an insightful one. I don't think parents realize this. They're in the moment and doesn't think of the long-term effects.
When you say:
"I was told not to be like my much older brother who they weren't proud of his life choices. So I had to be focused and face a clear path, a little me carrying the burden of redemption of the family's pride.
That messed me up so bad and the things I carried were too heavy for my age. I was mostly depressed and an emotional wreck. At that time, I felt if I had more siblings, all eyes wouldn't be on me and I would have been allowed to just be a kid."
I've had friends who relayed the same sentiments about the burdens placed upon them when young. It can either go two ways, negative or positive. I'm sad to hear how the experience impacted you later in life.
I wish you much calmer waters now and in the future that one day you may consider becoming a mom with confidence.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with the community. I appreciate it.
Take care and have a good rest of your week.
Exactly! It all makes sense when you're older why they acted the way they did. They're just people after all.
Thank you so much. I look forward to that.