No siempre la violencia es evidente LOH # 144/ Violence is not always obvious LOH # 144 Eng/Esp

in Ladies of Hive9 months ago (edited)

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Hola Ladies:
Los temas para el concurso de esta semana están bien fuertes. Soy consciente de que escribo desde una posición privilegiada, porque no he sido víctima de ninguno de estos problemas, aún. Sin embargo, muchas de nosotras tenemos esa amiga que está en problemas con su pareja y no siempre es fácil dar un consejo o una opinión que no ha sido pedida. De donde vengo se dice que “entre marido y mujer nadie se debe meter”, pero ¿hasta qué punto?

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Mi amiga en cuestión es una científica que ha logrado sus metas profesionales como quien agita una pluma. Esto es fácil de decir pero no de hacer en un país con tantos problemas y carencias como el nuestro. Esta amiga tuvo un hijo prácticamente sola, porque su pareja la abandonó con 8 meses de embarazo. Su esposo, un hombre encantador, lleno de detalles para ella y el niño, romántico, creativo, casi un príncipe encantador.

Este príncipe se burla ligeramente de sus ideas, y la convence de que las suyas son más factibles, luego le regala flores y ella ya no recuerda la razón de ese malestar que estaba sintiendo. Él le escribe constantemente a su exnovia, a escondidas de mi amiga, y cuando ella lo descubre la hace sentir mal llamándola paranoica, porque solo está apoyando a la ex en un mal momento de su vida, pero luego la abraza y le dice que es su verdadero amor, entonces ya ella no puede dilucidar si solo está celosa o él le esconde algo.

Ella nos invita a comer y pasar tiempo entre amigos, pero él no deja de bromear con la mala ejecución de algún plato, luego la acaricia y le lanza besos, así que ella se queda con la sensación de que ha hecho algo mal, pero no sabe qué. Constantemente él le hace notar la mala administración del dinero personal que ella hace, así que la induce a recortar gastos que él considera innecesarios, después le recuerda que deben ahorrar para cumplir sus metas, así que ella termina agradecida y convencida de que no tiene cabeza para el dinero.

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Esto también es violencia, aunque no hay golpes físicos, la veo confundida. Veo que esta mujer tan inteligente e independiente ha caído en una trampa sutil. La vida en pareja es, para mí, compartir un proyecto de vida, apoyarse mutuamente y ayudarse a cumplir los sueños personales sin arriesgar los deseos comunes. La violencia de pareja no siempre es tan obvia y debemos estar muy atentas para reconocer qué nos hace daño y qué es lo que no estamos dispuestas a tolerar.

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violencia.jpg

Hello Ladies:
The topics for this week's contest are pretty tough. I am aware that I am writing from a privileged position, because I have not been a victim of any of these problems, yet. However, many of us have that friend who is in trouble with her partner and it is not always so easy to give advice or an opinion that has not been asked for. Where I come from it is said that "between husband and wife no one should interfere", but to what extent?

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My friend in question is a scientist who has achieved her professional goals as if she were waving a feather. This is easy to say but not to do in a country with as many problems and scarcities as ours. This friend had a child practically alone, because her partner abandoned her when she was 8 months pregnant. Her husband, a charming man, full of details for her and the child, romantic, creative, almost a prince charming.

This prince slightly mocks her ideas, and convinces her that his are more feasible, then gives her flowers and she no longer remembers the reason for the discomfort she was feeling. He constantly writes to his ex-girlfriend, behind my friend's back, and when she finds out he makes her feel bad by calling her paranoid, because he is just supporting the ex at a bad time in her life, but then he hugs her and tells her that she is his true love, then she can no longer elucidate if she is just jealous or he is hiding something from her.

She invites us to eat and spend time among friends, but he keeps joking about the poor execution of some dish, then caresses her and throws kisses at her, so she is left with the feeling that she has done something wrong, but she doesn't know what. He constantly brings to her attention her poor personal money management, so he induces her to cut expenses that he considers unnecessary, then reminds her that they must save to meet their goals, so she ends up grateful and convinced that she has no head for money.

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This is also violence, although there are no physical blows, I see her confused. I see that this very intelligent and independent woman has fallen into a subtle trap. Life as a couple is, for me, sharing a life project, supporting each other and helping each other to fulfill personal dreams without risking common desires. Partner violence is not always so obvious and we must be very alert to recognize what hurts us and what we are not willing to tolerate.

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Ese personaje es un sádico, manipulador muy inteligente que terminara acabando con la confianza y la autoestima de esta mujer es horrible, presenciar algo así y no poder opinar o no saber cuando y como hacerlo, porque por lo regular uno sale con las tablas en la cabeza.

That character is a sadistic, manipulative and very intelligent manipulator who will end up destroying the confidence and self-esteem of this woman is horrible, witnessing something like that and not being able to give an opinion or not knowing when and how to do it, because usually one comes out with the boards in the head.

Something she will have to decide how to handle, perhaps teasing in front of others is his way of trying to fit in with her high intelligence, as an outsider we find somethings offensive yet the person in question simply accepts it for what it is.

Should your friend complain about this behaviour only then will you be able to voice your opinion, once again has to be very careful in approached. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom in many marriages alas.

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