I do yoga and active meditation every day. At the moment, I live in Nice, in the south of France, and I often go to the seaside to do my practice.
A Quiet Morning... Almost
The other day, I was in the middle of an active meditation when I felt someone very close to me, unloading some material or something.
It felt like it was happening right at the other end of my yoga mat.
I was on a small pier. My mat was laid crosswise to face the sun. There was plenty of space around, and the rest of the pier was empty.
I kept going with my practice... and suddenly, very loud techno music started blasting from the west end of my mat.
I usually play mantra music softly on my phone — but now, I could hardly hear it.
A wave of anger swept through me.
The Inner Split
My practice is timed, and I was in the middle of a segment, so I kept going — after a quick glance to see what was happening.
There he was: a fisherman, with rods, bags, a seat, and a Bluetooth speaker — all set up exactly at the end of my mat. Not touching, but clearly right there.
I've been meditating for many years. It's become a natural state.
I can stay aware of many things happening at once.
So part of me continued the practice, and another part started wondering:
|What the fk!?
And then:
|What should I do now?
The Thought Spiral
I could feel the anger rising and falling like waves.
Anger is my main challenge emotionally — I grew up with it.
My thoughts went like this:
- This guy is invading my space.
- But the space is public.
- I was here first. He couldn’t have missed me. With his loud music, he’s claiming the space on purpose.
Wave of anger.
- Breathe. Don’t let it overflow... okay... we've got that...
- Oh, the music’s turned down... still loud, though.
- AND seriously — he’s almost on my mat!! He could go further. He could wait to play his music!!!
Then came the fantasy:
|I want to stand up and kick his speaker into the sea to make my point!!
But reason chimed in:
He hasn’t touched your things.
Okay. I should say something first.
But what?
*“I was here first. You should go away!” → He’d just say: “It’s a public space.”
“Don’t you see I’m doing my practice? Why are you disrespecting me?”
Nope.
The guy clearly saw me — and he was making it very clear he didn’t give a damn.
The Man
I caught another glimpse.
Not our usual middle-aged North African fishing for the family.
Not a young, passionate angler either.
He looked like a long-haired, tattooed, ring-fingered, spliff-rolling kind of retired rocker — listening to electronic music!?
What do you say to a guy who clearly doesn’t give a s**t?
|Please, give a st?
He was totally ignoring me — like I wasn’t even there.
But I could feel he was looking for conflict.
Turning Inward
I resumed my practice. I didn’t feel like conflict at all.
I thought about how spiritual people are often “too nice,” and how others take advantage of that.
But I believe you shouldn't be weak just because you’re looking for love.
I thought about Jesus Christ arriving at the temple, seeing merchants everywhere.
He pulled out a whip and chased them away!
But this wasn’t a temple.
The guy probably comes here often and decided it was his fishing spot...
Choosing My Ground
I got up and carried on with the rest of my program:
Push-ups, squats, a swim.
I did all of that as if the fisherman wasn’t there — even though he was literally just centimeters from me.
Like a total stranger being way too close to your body.
I changed into my swimsuit, did my exercises, swam — all right there, using exactly as much space as I needed, as if no one else existed.
A Final Gesture
When I came back from my swim, I started packing up.
I needed to shake the sand off my mat, so I smacked it like dusting an old rug — back turned to the guy, almost touching him, but not quite.
Very loudly.
I could feel the anger, not far, waiting to overflow me.
So I stopped.
And I left.
I actually went to the beach next to the pier and did a tea ceremony...
But that’s another story.
And You?
What do you think? What would you have done in that situation?
Photo taken with my iPhone
Good morning, Jean.
What an excellent challenge you had. Although I only do meditation from time to time, and very sporadically, I've noticed many points in common with part of the experience you've described.
I also suffer a lot from fits of anger at what's going on around me. I can give you an example of a situation that happened to me this week at work.
A colleague of mine was giving a lesson to a large group of third-graders. I'm a much more reserved person, and I don't like being the center of attention, or even the lead actor in a play that's written just to please those around me.
I was at one of the computers in one of the common rooms, and he burst in with a huge group of students in white lab coats, aged around 19-20 (no more). Needless to say, he loves being the center of attention, especially when there's a huge audience of very energetic people, as is natural for young people of that age. I continued at the computer, and greeted the students crowding into the room with a low, calm “good afternoon”. My calmness managed to get past my colleague's barrier of indifference, and he realized he was disturbing my work, immediately asking the group to keep quiet because I was working. A few minutes later she ended up going into one of the adjoining rooms and closing the door.
I was very proud to have been able to notice the anger, which quickly grew inside me, but which didn't consume me in such a way as to turn me into an execrable being in front of such an audience.
Have a great week!
Thank you for sharing this story with me.
I take these kind of moments as real victories. I wasn't used to sharing them but I now realise it is an opportunity to celebrate the progress we make and also to inspire and get inspired.
Keep it coming!
Have a great week too!