There are many factors but...
I think the experiment of soft parenting should be retired a failure, because the world's children are not getting better with parents who are their friends
I was never 'friends' with my dad in the sense of it...maybe until his illness, yet I know how dearly he loved me and saw the sacrifices he made daily for his family.
Parents should stop leaving their primary roles as parents because they want to be liked by their children. My dad did his job, and I will always love him for that. If I was an ungrateful kid it still won't change that fact
I think kids need the accountability and consequences from parents, in order to build respect. It is a type of psychological safety and show of care.
Sounds like your dad did his best, and it was pretty good!