I read the news from Australia and it seems that daily, there are stories of brawls and beatings, break-ins, car theft and home invasions - by children and teens. You know, the ones who can't remember not having a smartphone in their hands. They seem incredibly nihilistic, violent and altogether dickish. Yet, there are still many who keep on saying how brilliant these youngsters are, how creative. But all I see is packs of youths chasing fights to film on their phones. And these packs aren't small, there are hundreds involved at times, boys and girls.
What do the apologists for them, say about them?
This isn't normal immature behaviour.
Each generation should be a bit like spring, full of promise. But I don't get that from the last few and while I know some in each group that are indeed relatively normal, they are far outnumbered. And the challenge is that each of them are going to be surrounded by quite a horrible (by the looks of things) group of peers who will interact and influence them. How many truly have a chance?
The other day I was reading a story from the US about a girl who was drugged and raped at a frat house, and one of the "bros" messaged into a wide group chat to come and get some or something or other. Now, as sick as the crime is, what is even sicker is that this person and the group are so openly dismissive of the disgustingness of their own behaviour. They are shameless.
It is similar with these people filming fights that they are getting into on purpose over very little and then when they are on the news, they blur out the faces. Fuck that, *show their fucking faces so that someone can smack them in it. Because I think that is what a lot of these kids actually need.
A fucking hard spanking.
The thing with bad behaviour is if it isn't corrected, it will normalise and become habit, become culture. When there is no shame, no punishment, no humiliation, no pain for acting poorly, it is akin to rewarding the behaviour. What kinds of punishments have these kids received in the home or at school?
Hugs.
I think the experiment of soft parenting should be retired a failure, because the world's children are not getting better with parents who are their friends and the only tool they have at their disposal, is a discussion. Words are great, but they are not enough. As they say, actions speak louder than words and the actions of many youths today tell a very loud story.
Failure.
Failure of parents. Failure of society. Failure of Humanity.
I'd like to know where all these good kids are and what they are going to be able to do in twenty years from now. From what I see in the stories as well a lot of "good kids" are breaking down, depressed and committing suicide.
Of course, the news never paints a pretty picture, but I know people who live in Melbourne, Sydney, Adelaide, Brisbane and various regional areas also and, they say much the same as the news, with first-hand experience. And I suspect that Australia doesn't live in a youth crim vacuum and this is repeating all over the world in various ways.
The leaves of the latest generations have fallen.
It may be time to rake them together, and compost them.
Taraz
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I would also believe this if my experience working and interacting with young people said the opposite and if I didn't have an almost unhealthy and unnecessarily over the top level of deep scepticism rivalling the depth of the Mariana Trench for most news sources.
Having seen what some parents are calling "gentle parenting" (which is basically not/minimising yelling and screaming and using reason and logic and age appropriate consequences which may include making them understand how actions/behaviour got them ostracised from a group over corporal punishments, there are very definitely still firm boundaries and saying no) I'm not going to entirely disagree with that. Allegedly (from other people saying it not just my biased observations) the "gently parented" kids that are the same age as my kids are generally more mature/compassionate/understanding than similar aged peers. I've observed similar with some of the kids that I coach, but within the centre itself we have had thankfully very few "interesting" experiences with the newer/wronger (non-word) interpretation (mostly with parents who fail to make us stop telling their precious snowflakes "no" or sitting them in 1-3min timeout when they persistently break rules/do the wrong thing).
I wonder how much if it is confirmation bias on each side. I see certain things, but so do you. You see them in a narrow range where they are surrounded by a narrow range of kids. What if one of them was surrounded later by a different group of kids? And then, they are also often kids from gymnastics who are in a pretty demanding sport. Does it make a difference?
If I look at Smallsteps' friends on average from her current school (music kids) compared to those from her last school (random), it is quite different. How they play together, the issues they have, and the difference in parenting styles are quite clear. Abs this is in Finland, where it is still pretty culturally homogenous.
The "one bad apple" idiom is there fir a reason, but what if 20-30% are bad apples? How long until it is 50% and what then? Obesity wasn't an epidemic, until it was.
There is definitely a lot of confirmation bias but I do try to mention that every time I do a NOT IN MY EXPERIENCE XD I have at least two narrow ranges (depending on the parameters for the ranges) with slight overlaps.
My area is in a very long, slow and painful process of gentrifying (had started/was in fairly early progress since we moved here a couple of decades ago which is good in some ways and bad in others) but is still generally "low socioeconomic" (if you hear a a loud booming noise somewhere it could be a tree falling over, could be a car crash, could be a gunshot, could be a meth lab blowing up, less frequently now along with the rolling domestics which have gone from every other night to once a month or so) and seeing the behaviours you're describing would be completely unsurprising/expected around here but thankfully it doesn't seem to be a thing that's happening outside of the local high schools (the brawls seem to happen either on school grounds or not too far outside). I'm pretending it's because of all the programs run by the local government and centres like ours and all the grassroots/community sports where we will continue our absolute damnedest to try to stop apples from going bad in spite of everything and everyone else. Including this cost of living squeeze which is probably the thing I'm actually most worried about as far as stressors contributing to this type of situation goes x_x
The “kids” may be the symptom. A rise is dysfunctional family units may be the reason.
Youths with no “rearing” because they were never part of anyones plan and born to more ir less immature child-adults, ill equiped to look after themselves, nevermind a child.
That in itself speaks to a broken society, and frankly the seeding of wider social divides. They had little chance and will perpetuate the same.
Rather bleak really and yea, not unique to Australia.
Families are dying, community is dead, society was buried long ago.
Ahh!, but the sky never falls down, does it ? , no matter how many people tell you it is.
There are many factors but...
I was never 'friends' with my dad in the sense of it...maybe until his illness, yet I know how dearly he loved me and saw the sacrifices he made daily for his family.
Parents should stop leaving their primary roles as parents because they want to be liked by their children. My dad did his job, and I will always love him for that. If I was an ungrateful kid it still won't change that fact
I think kids need the accountability and consequences from parents, in order to build respect. It is a type of psychological safety and show of care.
Sounds like your dad did his best, and it was pretty good!
Soft parenting is great as long as it's balanced with some hard parenting
You know what mean.
Remember the bad teen stories are the only ones that make the news.
Yes, I know what you mean.
But have you seen some of these piles of kids and what they do?
I have, and they're awful, but I prefer to focus on the positive or I'll go mad. I don't think you can always blame the parents either - sometimes, try as they might, they just can't control their kids.
Hmm, I thought I was the only one who felt corporal punishment shouldn’t be abolished especially in the school because most of the kids started this unruly behaviour at a tender age and they are often ignored due to society and government clamouring for not using cane or any other form of punishment for the school children and our society is becoming rotten away because of the children they were not trained and those that are not meant to be parents also caused this moral decadence in our society. What do you think of “kids ” becoming parents themselves.
I am not a fan of schools punishing kids with a cane because there are some terrible teachers out there. But, parents who love their kids can smack them and not actually hurt them it helps enforce boundaries though.
We must be living in a bubble, because none of this is our radar... Or maybe this is because our daughter is in the private school?
It isn't just at schools this is happening. I was watching a video of hundreds of kids at a beach rubbing to be part of, watch and film fights and brawls. 10 year olds stealing cars. Children being hired to commit crimes because they don't get punished etc. It definitely wasn't like that when I was that age.
I think it is in my nature to want to fix or control every detail around us, but learning to 'leave it be' can save a lot of wasted energy and fix our psychology.
Some things need to be left, some attended to.
I think that you and Tyrion would get along well.
Joffrey didn't get slapped enough.
A times, no matter the parenting, they are friends who influences the mind of other children, Bad friend also play a good role in corrupting the mindset of a child.
Wish every parent would take there parenting duties more serious than even, then even the bad friends will not be in existence.
Look at the amount of fat children in the world today. Parents aren't doing their most basic job.
After reading the incidents you've shared from Australia, I would say one thing. "This is normal everywhere, we can not control all people, but we can reduce the number of people who do this.
Rape cases are increasing incredibly in Asia too, many families do not speak against just to protect their respect, but they forget that the real respect has already gone. We still can't control the rapist but we can implement some hard punishments for them, when one will be punished & others will see, they may think several times before doing that sin.
So, control is in our hands, but we can never end these kinda criminals.
Rape is fucking disgusting and the amount of it happening is insane. That children are doing it is a sign of how depraved society has become.
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They play so violent games that they think they should behave the same way in the real world
I think a lot of the issue is focus. Though these are the same kids that we had to warn against eating Tide pods, so it might be a stretch to claim they are brilliant. Even worse than the fraternity being dismissive is the university that made them write as essay as their sole punishment. It's Brock Turner x7! We just had an incident near where I live that a man driving a truck and a man on a motorcycle got into a road rage incident. Witnesses say the aggression was going both ways, but the truck driver ended up running over the motorcyclist, then backing up and doing it again, then going forward and doing it again. Killed the young man...
Cheers