I always find it it interesting that you don't like games. At this point I play much less than I did in the past but I still see some games as a form of art. The way I see it games(at least good games) are not so different from books and movies in a way that they are set in their own worlds and focus on interesting characters and stories. The difference is that you can have more impact to a game than to a book or movie. Your seemingly small decision in the beginning of a game can affect to your final outcome. So I believe that creating a good rpg game takes as much or more effort than writing a good book because in the book author likely tells one main story while in games those stories can branch out and change.
But you are right that a good influences are important. Had I interacted more with people who are not happy about Hive perhaps I would have also cashed out and quitted long ago...Without ever releasing true potential of this place. So I am glad that I was not surrounded by those negative people.
I believe, and this is just my personal opinion based on what I've gleaned about you, that you could certainly use some good influences around you and would benefit greatly. I'm not saying you have bad ones, just that there seems to be a lack of positive influence around you and that causes you to spin your wheels rather than progress.
Just saying.
Thank you.