There was this period of my life where I used to be afraid of silence. That moment where words cannot describe what is happening at that time. Sitting alone, no music, nothing. The silence might feel so empty, almost threatening. I would just rush to scrolling my phone, watching anything to avoid that loneliness.
There are times where your mind has nothing going on and that silence might feel so boring. Where your inner world is just quiet. It is all stimulated. It feels like a punishment. Like when your mind is alive, the questions, the ideas, the memories, the dreams. I learned this from thinking about the old things that happened to me, the bad things.
Things began to play in my subconscious. I began connecting with dark mistakes that I've made in my past life that I didn't relate. By the end of the day, I had written down so much ideas of myself. Silence is not just absence. It is you being present of yourself. You spending the time alone. Trying to create things. It is where that shows creativity.
We live in a world that teaches us to be afraid of boredom. Because you feel like boredom is something bad. It is as if you are not moving forward. Creativity doesn't always have to be that moment where a lot of things is going on in your life. It might be that kind of moment where you have to reminisce. You have to feel. You have to think.
It is time to just protect your silence. And schedule your time. No music. No school. Just you and your thoughts. The moments. The brilliance. But every moment. Every moment threatens your inner world. If silence makes you so much uncomfortable. I cannot run from it. Sit longer. Things might be going on inside you. More than you ever thought. Waiting patiently. That chaos and noise to stop stepping over to the world and be you no matter what.
