My (20-smtng) friends can't understand why I don't do dating apps anymore. I did meet some nice people while on them, but your analysis is just spot on. Apps tend to create the illusion of endless choice, which makes one far less likely to compromise, or even just be human. Why settle for some guy with a chipped tooth, when you can get one with a perfect denture?
I haven't used the apps since I was 22, I think. Much happier. The connections I make are more promising, too, because they're usually based on having something in common, rather than mere aesthetics. I like that. Like getting excited about a date (not swiping for an hour beforehand to see what else is out there).
Funnily enough, the last time I broke up with someone was because the guy (34, still using apps) had uploaded a selfie taken while on a date with me on Tinder, and I found out. The guy couldn't get what the big deal was. The erosion of human relationships, my friend.
With a chip on his shoulder instead! ;D
Where do you meet?
If I was single - it would be through dancing (salsa types) or gym - things I am interested in doing. But, the people I would meet there aren't "like me" by default. A different algorithm is in play. Mine :)
Oh, that is pathetic!
Mostly through shared interests. Dancing, also! I've been doing a lot of contact improvisation/jam type events. At shows or exhibitions. I think it's more natural and gives you a better shot, 'cause you're meeting through something you (already) have in common, you know?
Yep - I completely agree. More natural and something in common, but still that space for "completely different" in other ways in terms of backgrounds, professions etc. :)
So vital. We've got this skewed impression that "the perfect partner" has everything in common with us which just sounds like enmeshment to me.