To realize, from that internal click, that ahhh was this...
Real love that expands us, nourishes us, gives us clarity, and makes us feel at home. How beautiful it is when our partner supports us in difficult moments, that makes us fall in love.
Moving on. When one door closes, there's more waiting for you. A person is not the center of the universe.
Today I realized that if you love your partner you must be willing to stop any argument if one of you starts to get upset.
Valuable and valid rule in a bond: if I am getting upset, I stop, I regulate myself, I analyze my contribution to the conflict and repair by apologizing, it is as simple as it is to be so strong as to set limits to oneself: I stop because I love you, I breathe, I calm down and I take responsibility on my part, so that we do not pass the limits and end up in verbal and corporal aggression.
I am one of those who thinks and practices self-care of my self-esteem every day... Why? Because the more I work on self-love, the less likely I am to get screwed by others, partner, family, and "friends". Doing therapy is getting to know each other a little more every day. We cannot reach the end of our lives without knowing each other.
This is probably going to displease you, but it is my duty to say it: couple relationships require daily invidual work and I work on connection. If you want to become a couple, you have to be willing to be disciplined, a couple that does not work on their relationship and each one on their self-knowledge, it's just a relationship that serves as a "showcase to look good before friends and family". It's a dysfunctional relationship.
Stop wondering... If is that link good or bad? just watch!!! how it leaves you: if it expands or reduces you, if it orders or disorganizes you. And stay with this: not every link that makes you uncomfortable is harmful, but every link that forces you to stop being you needs to be reviewed, without a doubt.
Especially if your partner is or becomes autistic even more!!! If the discussion gets heated, they stop listening after 5 minutes and it's not on purpose. And not only do you waste time but you may lose him/her later on.
I respond to all this by thanking because I am preparing to receive what I have prayed so much for, and I am ready to build the reality that I love, desire and deserve. There is a strange peace when you no longer need love to save you, because you learned to hold yourself.
Many people believe that life changes only when you make a big decision. The truth is another, life is settling down with small decisions that you sustain over time.
Everything changes when you say "yes now". It's the day you decide to listen to yourself, set a limit, ask for help, do something different even if it's uncomfortable. You learn to make those small decisions that do hold, step by step, without pushing.
Janitze 🦋
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with Canva
Separator made with Canva by @janitzearratia
Translation with |DeepL