My name is BRENDA and this is my story about keeping my virginity.
I made the decision to remain a virgin from my childhood and that no matter what happened I vowed to keep my virginity.
During my childhood, I involved myself in some immoral act such as masturbation and surfing of different pornographic sites.
I struggled with remaining pure, from what I saw in the media to what I watched in the movies, everything around me was enough to keep me impure. I became curious about pornography, sex and its pleasure, my mind was filled with lust, I wanted to have a taste and this dragged me into pornography and masturbation but technically I was a VIRGIN. I keep lying to myself.
I became addicted to masturbation as a result of the number of pornographic movies I watched online and offline. From fingering myself, I upgraded to using sex toys and dildo but I kept telling myself that I was a virgin since I haven't met any man.
I was among the prayer warriors in church, I have castigated and talk bad about some of our young girls that got unwanted pregnant but no body knew about my secret sins of immorality, I struggled with pornography and masturbation.
I started lusting after my Pastor who is at his late 20's. I tried to seduce my pastor but the grace of God was abundant in his life. My pastor was very surprised and disappointed in me because many people in our church was looking up to me because of my dedication in the work of God.
My pastor made me understand the difference between 'working for God' and 'walking in God'. He made me understand that PURITY is a different fight, virginity alone does not define purity, purity is above keeping the HYMEN intact, stopping the PENETRATION, not being involved in SEXUAL ACTIVITIES.
What of God’s commendation, if we receive all the praise for keeping our virginity can God commend us for remaining pure?
He asked me the above question but I stayed mute because I was ashamed of myself.
He continued by saying:
For your body is HIS temple and should remain clean and pure for him to abide, it is more than abstaining from sex but abstaining from everything immoral and impure, abstaining from pornography, movies with naked adults, music videos proclaiming nudity.
I raised my head up and looked into his eyeballs and asked him “How can I become free from the bondage of lust”
My pastor started counseling me...
It starts from keeping your mind free from lust and lustful desires, staying away from pornographic sites,shunning all form of immoral discussion,minding the books you read, the songs you listen to and the movies you watch. If you say you abstain from sex but discuss sex it is like adding fuel to the fire you are trying to quench!
After preaching to me,I made a decision to abstain from immorality. I trashed my sex toy and dildo, deleted all the pornographic content in my phone.
I turned my face to God for help and God in his infinity mercy delivered me from the grip of masturbation and lust.
Masturbation and pornography is not good for your mental health. For those battling with the addition, please try to always keep yourself busy because idleness is one of the major causes of masturbation.
Draw yourself closer to God and HE will save you.Don't judge others.
Thanks for reading
Addiction to masturbating is really scary because to stop it is very hard
That's one thing with addiction.
But when God is involve everything surrenders