Where do you place your fears? Are they motivating or hindering you choices?
There are a few reasons why I embarked on that new adventure, cycling by myself to I don’t know where exactly. A few destinations in my head, but really I am doing this not for a destination but for my fears.
One fear I always had, was to wild camp by myself. At times terribly afraid of that thought I also really love the idea of it. Imagine how free I would be if I could sleep anywhere I want, by myself with my tent. Imagine I could cross all that beautiful nature and call any place my home for the night, just for myself. I adore the idea and I am terribly afraid of it.
Afraid of what?
Part of my fear is irrational, still I have to accept it. I know chances someone with bad intentions would find me in the woods is quite small compared to someone with bad intentions crossing my path on a busy city street. I also know, that most of the noises, that sound scary and intimidating at night are just harmless creatures or elements doing their life regardless of me.
Part of myself wants to be challenged and another part needs to be comforted. I do want to push myself to do this and I want to give myself as much time as I need to.
Sometimes I forget, that just leaving and doing this, cycling by myself is already an accomplishment. Just because I sleep on a campsite, thus not wild in the bushes, doesn’t mean I lost. There is no losing or winning anyways, this isn’t a game, it is a process.
Already the fact that I made it here, with all my gear and self is one step towards confronting that fear, rather than letting it hinder me.
As I progress deeper and further into this adventure a lot is clearing up in my mind. The encounters I have, together with my thoughts on the bike make me understand the process. It is one step at the time, it is a choice.
The choice to place my fear behind me, use it as a motivation and not as an obstacle. Every day, as I wake up from another night that I managed to pass safely and alive is one more step towards that freedom I aspire. Every day that I choose to confront myself with the scary question of where and how I would pass that next night again implements the choice of using my fear as an inspiration to grow.
I get asked since how long I am on this trip. And in all honesty I have to reply: “I have no idea!” So much has happened since, that these few days feel like months.
Or is that just how the endless freedom hiding behind our fears feels like?
Thank you for passing by, its a pleasure to have you around, enjoy your Sunday!
All photos and words are owned by ©kesityu taken and written by myself.
Ooh, yes indeed: the powerful magic of confronting and feeling our fears - I was always a bit addicted to that, but since I settled in one place for a decade and a half, have become pretty 'tamed'. It is beautiful and healing to have the container of a home - but only to a point - then we need the balance of outside freedom and the epic thrill of the unfolding unknown. I love adventuring vicariously with you, wonderwoman 😊🤲🤗🥰🤩🍷🥂
It can become a bit of an addiction indeed, or keeping it healthy, a habit?
That sounds like outward vs. inward unfolding... which both sound very exciting, to me:)
Thank you for all your enthusiasm, dearest❤️😘
Worth mentioning, I think what you're doing is hella brave and impressive, lovely. Wild or camp or whatever, it's insanely brave. I know people who wouldn't travel alone staying in good hotels and traveling on reputable airlines, let alone how you're doing it. So tell that little voice inside your head you're already winning.
Indeed, beyond fear <3 Have a great Sunday!
...hearing that from you feels good, reassuring!!:)
Thank you❤️
I can definitely say that my fears somehow hindering my choices in life.
You're so brave cycling all by yourself. It's a great way to face your fears. Take it slowly and you'll be shocked that you've made it. Thank you for sharing this with us. God bless you and take care always.
Thank you so much for leaving that kind comment!
It can be hard, yes and mostly it does turn out rewarding, if not always?
you take care as well!
You're welcome 🤗 I'm looking forward to your next blogs.
😊😊
Oh beautiful, as always. Your writing feels like poetry, your experiences are like art. Fear and anxiety are always with us, irrational as they may be, they drive us forward. Without them, the will to change would not be there. Fear and will, anxiety and movement, dread and change, they all go hand in hand. And your phrasing, that freedom lays behind fear, is exactly that! Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful thoughts. Stay safe!
Thank you for all these lovely words and for sharing some of your side of view, I always appreciate that!
Indeed I like how you mention these pairs, very interesting in fact, gives me another approach to it, for some of these I rarely put together, even though I completely see how you mean it. (I guess it's about the different meanings we have for our words or which ones we use more often.)
Language is always such an interesting thing, sometimes a "barrier". I am far from a native English speaker, as I am a speaker of a different language. And so often, I find that my words fall short because the English does not have enough meaning, as I am afforded in my own language. So, sorry if these pairs might have gotten lost in the translation as well, but that also adds some unique new meaning which native speakers of English might have not added! I hope all of this makes sense.
Oh no I didn't mean it that way. (But I guess since I am also not an English native speaker, there is even more room for the words to get lost in translation)
I rather meant, what we associate with words, or which ones we rather use than others. So sometimes I see myself getting quite focussed on a few (for ex. "inspiration" would be one) that I forget to explore how many other words would describe it too.
And thats kind of what I got out of your word pairs! Which I enjoy.
It is funny how language can fool us with all of its interpretations, permeations, and strange corridors.
Thank you so much for clarifying! I think my brain is a bit "fried" as I am finishing my PhD, and the work is saturating my mind a bit (not always in good ways).
Oh now I understand! At least, I think so. Forgetting is a real problem, or neglecting others (the word pairs). But it is not always easy to keep our minds open when we focus on one thing though. But we can try!
I wrote this yesterday, for my (The Monster of Disco and ) 'The Other Monsters' book ( based on the voices in our head ):
More to follow...
😁😁 Love it!!
Sending Love and Ecency Vote!
Thank you😊💙