“Then I had this interaction I’ve been thinkin’ ’bout for like five weeks
Wonder if he’s thinkin’ ’bout it too and smiling
Wonder if he knows that that’s been what’s inspirin’ me
Wonder if he’s judgin’ me like I am right now”
For some reason, I kept replaying that part from Ariana Grande's latest Album, intro (end of the world). It just speaks so well to what I was experiencing recently. While I am still processing and unpacking it all, I keep having the need to write it down and reflect here as I have always been.
Somehow it is also tied to the idea of energy that I talked about last time, our energy is our most prized possession. We can’t just give it away to anybody, we even have to do our best to protect it. This time,I found energy is more than just having the time and the ability to do things. There’s another layer of it that an exchange of energy could be that spark to remind us of something that we’ve lost.
For me, now that I tried to explain it to people I know so well, it’s like finally finding the lamp switch inside a dark room. I started seeing things more clearly and it’s recharging my creative sparks, who I really was and things I really wanted in life.
As much as I am pretty social, I’ve always been an observer. I love to observe more than I like to talk but when I talk, I can’t stop and recently, , I had this interaction that was so electrifying and woke up something inside of me that was so long gone especially after years of depression.
“ I guess I am crazy to keep thinking about it, smiling and laughing at that interaction” I told some friends of mine and they all said that there was an air of excitement when I described that interaction. It’s like I remembered things I hadn’t felt in a long time from that even silence feels just something so comforting.
There are moments in my life when I met someone and my energy was depleted. I became exhausted and completely drained. But this interaction was so much different from all the interactions I ever had. It’s just so magnetic and lingers as if our energy was just on the same wavelength. It’s like I need more of it and I couldn’t have enough. But I know, I have to let it soak and sit. Just as I am sitting down right now, trying to process it all and wondering if that person felt the same way too.
Just like that song part that constantly echoes my mind, that interaction was the same. It was just that I finally realized to be more present in my life and that person was holding the mirror which shows what I would be if I were truly back to life. It’s hard to explain to those who didn’t know me but those who do, they just get it.
That interaction taught me to just be more in the present and that I can care about something so deeply without needing to label it. That interaction was the “let it all flow” in action. I didn’t force it and I hope I didn’t come across as weird or strange but I really enjoyed it. Will I forget about it?It’s going to be very hard for me because through that, I started to dream again and I felt like my presence was not something considered too much. I was just being myself with all the energies I kept for so long within me. But again, everything was through my lens where I felt like this person provided that space for me to be myself and to be so vulnerable.
This time, rather than feeling so drained, I feel more alive, energized and creative. Usually around people, I’d feel so drained but this person showed me that it’s possible to be in the midst of multiple energies and still have our own. This was something that changed in me when I was with this person and while at the time, their presence acted as the balance, now I just have to learn even without their presence, I can still access that great energy and have balances I need when I am in the middle of a crowd with different energies.
For that somehow, I will be forever grateful for the encounter and that we crossed paths. This person didn't take anything from me but rather helped me return to who I am & showed me the colors of life that for a long time has missed.
Some encounters become the gateway to a new us and the changes are always evident. The interaction sure did wonders in you. I enjoyed reading your publication.
That's true & I am very happy with this one.
I believe that we truly are energy. When we shed our bodies, only eternal energy remains.
That's amazing. I love how you can meet someone who you might not ever see again, but the meeting itself was enough to teach you something about yourself, to uncover and reveal it so that you can just keep on walking with that knowledge as truth.