Learning from my teenager

in Reflections2 months ago

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Gabriel, my almost 14 year old son, has given me a great lesson this morning.

To tell you this, first I want you to know that about six years ago, when he was eight years old, after some criticism at school, because his teacher considered that he had a problem, that he had some kind of delay, because when the other children fought, he stood aside and was scared, because he has not been raised in the midst of violence of any kind, but, on the contrary, the environment in which he has grown up, has been full of love, laughter, affection and understanding.

But in elementary school, he used to get bored out of his mind, he was distracted and the teacher started to say at school that he was special, that she thought he might be autistic and never stopped to think that probably the cause of his attitude was precisely due to boring classes, zero dynamics, where the teachers, what they do most is check their cell phones all the time the activity lasts, send the kids to shut up and go out to recess to talk to the other teachers.

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The most curious thing is that this teacher is a psychopedagogue... Aha, just like that. An absolute lack of professionalism and ethics. I told you that I kept quiet about the comments, because I was moving in other directions. I took him to psychologists, psychiatrists, psychotherapists and even to the Venezuelan Association of Psychiatry and after a series of examinations and analyses, it was determined by means of a report signed and sealed by Dr. Petra Aponte, Director of the SVP (Venezuelan Society of Psychiatry), that the child was a healthy child, with an IQ a little higher than that of a boy of his age.

I think this is the reason why he often astounds me with his capacity for reasoning and analysis, and why he responds to stimuli and situations like a person over 40 years old. A friend of mine who is the founder of IVEHO (Venezuelan Institute of Holistic Schools), told me that my son's soul is an old soul, a soul that has lived a lot, a mature soul, that is why he gives me lessons like today's one.

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But the pseudo-teachers have to make their own judgments, stigmatizing the child. When I got the report, I went to the school and talked to the school principal, explained the situation and put the report in front of her. I demanded that they stop spreading absurd rumors because my son was a normal little boy. But he was bored in class and that's why his mind was flying to those places where he was happy.

After this "brief" summary about Gabo's childhood and what we went through and what I have been learning, it is to put you in context with what happened this morning.

It has been like this:

I've been wanting to make some cup holders for several days with CDs and different magazine sheets that I cut them out and glue them together. But I haven't felt very convinced because I haven't really liked the way they are looking. They feel childish, dull, in short. Every day, I used to do something, in the middle of my usual tasks, but I already have some days when I just don't feel like going on.

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So, since Sunday, I haven't touched them again. Maybe because I got saturated, I ran out of ideas or things happened along the way that took away my desire.

And every day, since Sunday, Gabriel tells me: Today we have to cut, continue tearing and pasting papers on the CDs. I'll help you mommy, don't give up. Anyway, I've been getting tired of it.

And today, when I was preparing lunch, before he left for school, I told him: Gabo, I don't know why, maybe I am overwhelmed with so many problems and it is true, I have stopped doing it, do you know why it could be?

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He, with a frown in an analytical attitude, as he always does and after meditating for a few seconds, tells me:

Gabo: - Hey mommy, well I don't know, but it has already happened to you that you abandon some project, like the one with the two cartoon characters, like the ones you had created, we did the drawings, we turned them to stop motion and never again. And I don't know why you stopped doing it. I think it was because my godmother told you that she didn't like them.

Me: - Maybe...

Gabo: - Well, you shouldn't do that, if you liked doing it, you should continue. It doesn't matter what others think. You have to try.

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And at that moment I felt bad, because I realized that this line of thoughts, are more appropriate for an adult like me, than for a boy like him. He told me that it didn't matter the opinion of others, that I should try. And I go further... for a long time, he has been my cane, the one who hugs me when I need it and without asking for it, has been him.

That's where the guilt came in.

What am I teaching my son? How am I teaching him? How am I instilling values in him?

These are questions I constantly ask myself.

And I had no choice but to tell him: Well, son, that's right, you are absolutely right.

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So, here I am now, almost at 4 pm, hungry because I have two coffees and a Maria cookie in my body, a lot of information in my head that came to me all at once and piles up at times, a very analytical teenager, with the soul of an old man and me, a mother who gets frustrated and gives up when others don't value her.

It's a lot to cut through.

So, perhaps, I will listen to my son and take up the idea of these two characters, with which I once dreamed and that I have thought of making them reality, but I realize that the excuses, are the barriers I have imposed on myself. And Gabriel has told me that he wants to give shape to the characters and create the stop-motions and that I will put the dialogues, like in the comics. This plan is promising.

Thanks for being here.

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Ser madre no es nada fácil y eso lo sé por mi madre, su hijo se escucha fascinante, a mi también me pasó algo así en mi infancia mi madre tambien tuvo que ir a la zona educativa y me hicieron muchas pruebas porque mi profesora de grado decía que era especial y no me acoplaba a mi salón. Pero déjeme decirle que no se debe sentír mal porque su hijo le diga su opinión es entendible que se frustre pero si el vive en un ambiente de qmo y paz con usted no hay nada de que denegar, véalo como una ayuda enviada ya sea del cielo, el universo de donde sea para usted, su hijo a parte de ser su bastón y apoyó, a lo mejor es su guía y apoyo porque usted necesita aprender ciertas lecciones de vida para enfrentar ciertas situaciones futuras y su hijo la enseña , y creo que las relaciones padre -hijo, más allá de la autoridad de los padres también son simbióticas ya que efectivamente nosostros los hijos aprendamos se nuestros padres y Ustedes los padres, auque a veces no lo vean también aprenden de nosotros,nadie nace aprendido y como seres humanos somos esponjas absorbiendo aprendizajes constantemente, así que no, usted no es una mala madre es lo suficientemente madura para aprender de su hijo y aún así seguirlo educando ,mis respetos a usted y saludos a su pequeño ✨✨