I often think of times I fucked up as a Mum. Times I may have yelled at him when I shouldn't have and so on. It's pretty shitty as you can't go back. And there's a relationship or two where I behaved badly. I try to reassure myself I'm only human and I'm probably the only one that thinks about it ahah. And try to shift my mind quickly to something else. I don't think about it as often now. For the 3 am, I listen to a yoga nidra on the headphones that puts my back in the present through my body and I'm usually asleep in five minutes.
I think about how I screwed the pooch as a parent. As a husband too. Among other things. Maybe it is justan exercise in narcissism. Hell, I doubt anyone else remmbers or thinks about it. As far aa shaking the thoughts. I've been trying to flip the script and tell myself that I learned from that and will not repeat it again. We will see if it works.