This all feels so remote to my life. I did it all backward really. Had a kid at 25, worked hospo, travelled Europe and Asia with a 4 year old, did my teaching degree, then met my husband. By the time I was 50 my son was well gone and now has a little fam of his own. There was a slight twinge that Jamie and I didn't have one together, but we firmly believed our happiness didn't depend on kids at all. And we knew that happiness was fleeting - and goes up and down. Life's purpose could be found in another things - in kindnesses to others, in jobs well done, in being in nature, in simply breathing sometimes. I firmly, firmly refuse to find happiness in THINGS. I've always been like that.
There's sooo many people I work with that had kids late - or got divorced and then ended up with a second marriage and a second lot of kids - and they are working to pay for that. I couldn't think of anything worse. And I don't get it - why? Does it truly bring 'happiness'?
I more and more believe that our happiness is in community, which is the opposite of selfishness, but that's harder and harder to find in a world that revolves around money, and this hamster wheel we're all on. But that's another story.
A client of mine had hers young - just as she was starting university, and her husband was going through medical school. By the time she was at work a few years later in HR at a company, the others were going on maternity leave, and she rose through the ranks and by thirty, was heading up the HR at a large company. Worked out well for them and they now feel that they are very free, with older children, decent work, and a lot of time on their hands when they want it.
Not when doing it that way I think!
I am definitely swayed to the "having kids' earlier, especially having done it and having this story to affirm it. As you know we are on a year long adventure right now - early 50s, no kids. It's awesome!
My son is 27 with a nearly two year old and his wife is finishing a politics degree and working in policy for super company. It's actually a good way to stay grounded and focused ... You have the energy for a career AND a kid.