What i’ve learned about forgiveness

in Reflections8 months ago


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A few years ago, i had a fall out with someone i once considered my closest friend. We had been through everything together- side hustles, school stress and some tough times.
But all it took was one incident, one moment of betrayal and everything came crashing down.

She had shared something i told her because i trusted her not to tell anyone.
Not just with one person- but with our group of friends.
When i found out, i felt angry and exposed.
I confronted her about it and she didn’t feel sorry or try to apologize. That broke me more.
I cut ties with her, blocked her on everything and carried the weight of bitterness like armour.

For months, i replayed the situation in my mind.
I thought about what i should have said, what she should have done.
I convinced myself that i had every right to stay angry, and in a way-i did.
But slowly, the anger turned inward.
I noticed i was becoming more guarded wifh others, suspicious of the people who had done nothing wrong.

One day, i came across a quote that said: “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the person to die”. It hit me hard. She had moved on with her life , probably not even thinking about what happened. Meanwhile, i was the one carrying the heaviness.
Forgiveness, i’ve learned, isn’t about excusing what someone did.
It’s about choosing peace over pain.
It’s about releasing yourself from the emotional prison of resentment.
So, i let it go- not for her but for me.
I never reached out again and i didn’t need to.
But i stopped wishing things had been different.

Now, when i think of that chapter in my life, i see it not as a betrayal but as a lesson.
I learned who i could trust, how to set boundaries and most importantly-how to heal.

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