What is the most important thing in life?
It should be an easy question to answer, but I get the impression that most of us probably don't have clarity on our position. Some might say "love" is the most important thing, but what does that mean in practice, what kinds of actions and reactions does it entail. How do you live a life of love? Others might say "health" is the most important, as after all, health is wealth, but again, is that physical, mental, emotional or social health? What does a healthy lifestyle really look like? Others still might say "family" is at the top of the list, yet in what capacity?
We all have our beliefs and value systems, but I reckon there can often be a large gap between what we say they are to others and even ourselves, and how we actually behave. If the most important thing in life is "X" it would need to be the guiding force for all else, where other actions align with and are in service to it. For instance, if family is the most important thing, we'd need to define what kind of conditions are important to meet and then go about meeting them. Perhaps through providing financially, being present enough, and demonstrating and supporting positive growth.
Do we leave too much up to chance?
I think I do.
Attention is the most valuable thing we possess, because it is through this we are able to focus our energy intentionally. No matter what we might believe, if we aren't paying attention to what we are doing, defaults play out, influence directs, and we can end up behaving in ways that are contrary to what we believe and value, without even noticing it. And this is why distraction is so harmful.
I don't know about you, but when I leave the house I do the pat-down to ensure that I have my keys, wallet, and phone. I never forget them. Unless I get interrupted during the routine and my attention is taken away to something else, like a phone call, or my daughter needing something. That interruption distracts my attention from running the course, and I am far more likely to forget something. Quite a simple example, but there are many that people might have, like walking into a room to get something, thinking something else between, and then not remembering what the original reason for walking into the room was.
Simple examples.
Now consider all the complexities around our belief and value positions and that we don't even have a clear understanding of what they entail, and then identify all the distractions that step in the way in daily life through external sources, and personal behaviours. Think a bout all the things that you plan on doing, but instead spend an hour watching clips on Instagram, or scrolling TikTok. And they are just tasks - what about those core values of family, love or health?
It seems to be increasingly easy to derail our attention from what we intend to do and onto something that distracts us from doing it. It might be somewhat of a self-preservation position at times to ease trauma, but what happens when we keep on using distraction as a coping mechanism for whenever we feel uncomfortable?
My room and then house was the cleanest at exam time, because I hated studying. It was uncomfortable for me, so instead of working out ways to study, I would do things to distract myself from studying, such as clean my home. What this meant is that while I could get okay marks based on what I had picked up along the way, I could expand on that because the discomfort barrier to "new learning" held me back, where my brain would find avoidance mechanisms.
What was more valuable, a spotless home or better grades?
At the time, the grades, and I knew it. However even though it was higher on my list of importance, my attention couldn't keep it in focus, even if my intention was to study. And the weaker our ability to control our attention is, the more we are going to miss out on doing the things we intend to do, even if we consider those things the most important part of life.
Our environment has become cluttered with distractions of a thousand kinds and flavours, and while we are continually intending to do things that take us closer to where we believe we want to be, we are rarely able to keep those tasks in focus long enough to make a difference. And it is a double-edged problem, because the things that take us forward tend to be the kinds of things that we would rather avoid because they are difficult and make us uncomfortable.
I don't have an effective solution to my inability to maintain attention, but I have always leant on the belie I am a procrastinator. But I don't think that is the real reason. Instead, I, like everyone, don't like discomfort in some areas, even if I am okay with it in others. Overcoming my aversion to discomfort is key to being able to align my actions with my beliefs, because what I believe I should be doing, is unlikely to feel good in the moment.
Pay Now, Buy Later.
That is what I need to live by, with the payments being the attention I invest into being the person I want to be now, and into the future. What can I buy in the future? It depends on the investments I have made. But hopefully, I will have plenty of the most important things in life.
Taraz
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When I was a kid, my neighbor would always go back home because he didn't know if he had forgotten his keys or if he had locked his house or left it open. That happened all the time.
That's why he always left early, just to be sure about it.
Attention is what steals our life. Making a checklist is the best. Each pocket in your pants holds keys, wallet, coins, and cell phone. Each thing in its place. If something is missing, you have an empty pocket, so it's easy to know what's missing.
What’s the most important thing? Love. Haaaaaaa of course it is.
When I tell them it’s money, they call me materialistic. But money to buy time, so you don’t have to worry about anything in this life. That’s the true spirit of living and why we’re here.
May you keep getting better with your memories, and may the forgetfulness not get worse. We all wish for that too.
And often something "feels off" and makes you check.
I still think love is the most important, but then - what do most people think love is?
Multiply that by ten for people who just naturally have problems focusing their attention. Actually, if anything, I think it might be easier. Despite lacking focus on a lot of other things, I don't often find myself watching YouTube for hours on end or scrolling through social media.
I wonder if that is the case where the things you want to do are easier to focus on? ADHD seems to only be in effect for the things not wanted :D
Only slightly. There are plenty of things that I really, really, really do want to do (like art and sewing and lesson planning and now gardening apparently) but will still have comically unrealistic trouble focusing on. The only major difference is that it's (usually but not always) slightly easier to start (I may take up an hour or more of the allotted time "setting up" or staring at it and doing a lot of stuff in my head first which may sound like yet more procrastination excuses but is actually a necessary step for me as it reduces the number of times I have to redo something by quite a lot) if I actually like the thing (I have been known to "accidentally" miss a lot of housework time because I am really tired and I'll have my second/third coffee now and I need to sort out finances and I haven't done plant patrol yet and did I just see Satan out the front and wait is that the chicks out the front now and now I'm hungry and the dog just barked to get in/out and and and...) x_x
Sleep helps dramatically but I somehow never have time for that -_-
You know that "spend 55 minutes understanding, 5 minutes solving" quote? Sounds a bit like you are doing that.
I hate it when Satan is out front. I put a "no loitering" sign up, but he doesn't seem deterred. Perhaps sone of those spikes they use on statues for pigeons, or an annoying sound blaring over a speaker like they have been doing for homeless people in Perth.
I don't think I've heard that one but I'll go with that.
LoL XD Teach Puusti how to herd, that would be a real crack up xD
Satan is the chicken that Aeris usually ends up herding back into the chicken area, today I was yelling at her as I was worried Satan would hurt herself trying to get through the chicken wire as Aeris had accidentally trapped her in the corner, and Aeris was trying to "help" by nosebutting her x_x
I hate hostile architecture.
Yes and no. I mean there's definitely more to it than that, but I think it applies to all things. It's just easier to see it with the things that aren't fun.
If you could get rid of it with a magic switch, would you?
That's a tough one, it's kind of part of who I am after 50 years, so I really don't know.
It is interesting how we can come to identify with parts of us that at least at times, can hold us back, isn't it? One of the big problems with the identity politics positions.
Yes, that is true.
Procrastination is my number one flaw...
And the most important thing in life is health, especially physical and mental.
I think I am going to have to look deeper into the psychology of procrastination.
I still think love is the most important, but not necessarily romantic love.
The most important thing in life for me is freedom. I would sacrifice a lot for freedom. Would you rather be free but very poor, or rich but enslaved? My understanding of freedom is broad. It includes mental and physical health. Someone who has lost their sanity isn't free enough. I don't know, maybe they possess infinite freedom.
I also suffered from attention deficit disorder for many years. I would get bored when I was doing something, sometimes even things I loved very much. In recent years, my attention deficit disorder has decreased. I don't know what has changed in my life.
I have always wondered what it means to be free, because to me it seems that the freer we get, the more responsibility we have. So are we free?
I think just because we claim something is important doesn’t mean we're living it out effectively. We mostly tend to prioritize immediate comfort over long-term goals.
And then we wonder where our life has gone, and why we didn't reach any of our dreams.
Instant gratification tends to destroy sustained attention span. Then again neurodivergents have issues with attention spans. I suppose attention becomes commodified as the most valuable resource out there in the sharing economy a new kind of capital...
I am not sure about all of the neurodivergent stuff these days - too many are on the list to call it divergent.
It's a broad spectrum some have mire of it some quite less...
I say health. Without it, you can't experience everything else.. at least not for a long time.
Better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all?
Yessir.
Sir sincerely speaking,i guess the hard part is not just knowing all this, but consistently acting on it when it matters. Do you think building better attention is more about discipline, or is it more about designing your environment so distractions don’t win in the first place?
I think it requires both. Develop yourself, design your environment.
These words feels like a Three Days Grace song
I don't know who that is. Should I? :D
The writing is perfect.
If I see life. It doesn't depend on luck.
In my opinion, life isn't a bunch of beautiful, fragrant and enchanting roses. It's a struggle to live life. There are always things I worry about in everyday life. Whether it's financial worries, children or friendship. I think these situations are a field of struggle. When I've given my best, I don't need to worry about the result anymore.
I think that when I leave the house and go on a long trip, things like my car wallet are usually easy to forget. But there are always things I leave behind if I'm not focused, even if they're trival, like toilettries and I'll remember them after I've traveled tens of kilometers. Maybe it's because I'm not focused or because of age. Thank you.