I am often sceptical when people say "I don't have the energy for..." because it seems to rarely be the case. I mean, we have probably all been very tired from to time to time, but I think that many are conflating physical, psychological and emotional tiredness, because they can "feel" the same as the body tends to use the same systems to indicate them. This means when people say "I'm too tired to go to the gym" even though they have been sitting around all day at a desk doing nothing, I call bullshit.
I also think that a lot of people have issues with things like sleeping, when they are not tired enough, and their mental energy is high, because they haven't been using it adequately. They lay down, and their mind races, because finally there is "dead space" to think. I reckon this affects a lot of people who would naturally be thinkers, but they are habitually consumers of digital content. Sure, the content consumed might make them think a little, but it is generally designed to give the impression of though, rather then elicit depth of thought. It directs the consumer and gives the answers, rather than evoking true curiosity to find out and grow.
At any given moment, we each have an amount of energy in us to think or feel or do something with, and it is our attention that gives us the ability to act with intention. However, if we are conflating low emotional energy with low physical energy, what are we going to do? Or if we are mentally tired, are we going to mindlessly spend our physical energy reserves doing something useful, or are we going to sit down to recover? When we are truly physically tired, our mental and emotional reserves get depleted also, but for most of us in the modern world, this isn't the case. So why are we so many of us so tired all the time?
I called a friend today who I haven't spoken with since before the summer just for a chat, and she spent a fair bit of time talking about how the weekends just go and work is busy, and there is always something, but nothing seems to get done or happen. And it just made me think about how little we seem to actually do, but how much we feel we do a lot. What I think the main reason for this is that much of what we do is on default, on autopilot, without intention. And because we aren't paying attention to what we do, time slips away, feels like we have done more than we have, and we feel tired.
It would be interesting to have a battery level indicator for our personal energy resources, so we could know when our emotional energy is depleted, we still have some mental and physical to spend before the day is out. We can feel tired, but still know that we can spend 45 minutes at the gym, or out for a jog through the park. At least, it would give us clarity on our true levels and that if we decide not to apply the energy we have to something useful, we are clear that we are actively choosing it - no excuses.
There are so many excuses people have for why they aren't doing this or doing that, but I reckon that under examination, very few of them would turn out to be valid. Everyone states how well they know themselves, but I predict that most people have very little understanding about where there actual limits are, because they have never had to push themselves to that point. And this means that we also have very little understanding of what our potential could be, because we limit ourselves on how we feel in the moment, not by what is actually possible for us to do in that same moment.
Similar to how most people consider money, a lot of our existence seems to be about saving energy, not maximising the way we invest it. And as such, a lot of the energy resources we have get left on the table, unused, wasted. Our batteries do not store our energy for very long, and they can't be overfilled. However, what we can do is increase the storage capacity of our energy cells so that we are able to have a larger reserve. And, we are able to more effectively and efficiently process and use our resources so they do not deplete as fast. Emotional resilience means being able to continue on longer through increased amounts of stress for instance, in the same way a body conditioned to run distance, can complete a marathon easily, in a good time.
So the question is;
What are we saving our energy for?
Taraz
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I don't know about the tired thing, you are probably right, but I am starting to realize more that we have social batteries just like we might have mental and physical batteries and I find myself getting to the point where my social battery gets spent a lot more quickly than it used to. Some days I just don't want to "people"...
Some people's batteries are recharged through social interaction, some depleted faster. I reckon the social battery would be quite connected to the emotional battery, where depending on how you feel about various situations, impacts on the burn.
Yes, there is probably a very tight correlation between the two.
For me at least, with 3 kids at 7yo, 4yo, 1yo... when I say "I'm tired" as an excuse for not getting to what I want it truly means both that i'm physically tired, and mentally drained. Between work and kids right now, I might get an hour or so per day of mental/physical downtime. Which is okay, because the stuff I'd like to do is like... reading tabletop rpg books and playing videogames and such. Which is all stuff I can do when they're older, too. The stuff that really matters is the stuff they're doing, playing and learning and all that. So I give what I have for energy to the three of them, since I can always catch my goals up later.
You only have yourself to blame! ;D
There are some things that can be postponed, some things that can't. How I see it when it comes to children, we have to also ensure that we take care of ourselves and demonstrate how to be a healthy adult that has things to do, other than playing on the floor. I have a feeling that many of us are spending too much time with our kids, which may hinder them exploring life for themselves.
Today I saw a beautiful athletic girl, about 20 years old. I saw her twice within 20 minutes. She was running along the road and the second time she was climbing a high bridge, without slowing down. My God, I thought, what strength she has.
I remembered myself at 20 years old, I didn’t like running, I liked to drink vodka and eat a lot. If I had met someone like that then, I would have run too.
And today I brought 2 bags of 5 kg each from my garden and walked 11,000 steps. I brought 5 kg of corn and 5 kg of delicious pumpkin. Tomorrow I'll have pumpkin as a snack for Calvados :)
Do you think so? I am sure there are many who would look back and say the same, but there are many now at 20 who aren't running, even though they meet people like that. Having said that, if we do want to change something, it is good to have a peer group into the same thing. Getting fitter is easier when there is a group doing it together.
How will you prep the pumpkin?
I boil it in pieces for 20 minutes. I pour olive oil and salt on one plate. I season the second plate with butter and salt. This is a very tasty variety, our grandmother planted it. And I hope you know about the benefits of pumpkin for our body.
I can really relate to this. Many times, when people say, “I’m too tired,” it’s not really about physical tiredness but more about mental or emotional exhaustion.
I notice that when I spend a whole day sitting and scrolling on my phone or watching stuff online, I still end up feeling drained, even though my body didn’t do much. It is not until someone engages in physical damaging task that they feel exhausted.
I also agree with what you said about living on autopilot. Sometimes, we go through the day doing so many little things without intention, and by the end of it, it feels like we have done a lot, but in reality, nothing meaningful has been done. It makes me think about how I’m using my energy and how much of it I might be wasting without even realizing it.
I wonder how many people live a meaningful life but just aren't paying attention. And how many could live a meaningful life, but aren't paying attention.
I think we often point to tiredness as the reason we don't follow our goals, but perhaps it is really just a missing intention and motivation in what we do.
I wonder how many of the people who have accomplished great things, had a lot of motivation to do the work. I suspect, not that many. Waiting for motivation limits us a lot I think.
I have heard often that we don’t realize how fast life is passing us by until too late. Then, we advise others not to make the same mistake and it is ignored.
I was walking the dog and thinking about how someone will say “oh I could never do that.” I immediately call bullshit if I decide to say something. You are just deciding that you refuse to try because the benefits are not compelling enough to challenge your brain and try something new. Some of these people are depressed at the lack of benefits in their life and don’t even wonder why.
As I get along, I can picture where I was 10 years ago and where I thought I would be in 10 years. Few regrets but definitely along this rut and not as much progress as I might have liked.
In another 10 years? Hopefully the new path I have drawn for myself, a preserved sense of adventure, and better habits willl see me in a nice place.
Hmm
You spotted out a true fact. This happens to me so many times. Sometimes, I know I have a lot of work to do but there’s something that feels tired in me and hinders me from doing what I’m supposed to do.
Instead, I will watch videos online and I will never get tired of that. Do you know what I think? I think we all have energy but we channel our energy into the wrong things and by the time we want to do the right and important things, we will be tired…
I really enjoyed reading your article. We always lump physical, mental and emotional fatigue together but they are completely different. The most important thing is that we do most of the work habitually out of obligation which wastes time and makes us feel like we have done a lot but nothing is happening. To know how vast our potential is, I think we need to be conscious of where our energy is being spent.
I think people are getting more lethargic approach to life. And sometime, they wanted to do things in their own way. Few days ago, a person wanted to join me in my evening walk,...he called his friend to join, but his friend denied...he walk with me for few minutes and then pull back. I know he has nothing special to do except chit-chat or gossiping with friends... rather than sweating out he prefer to have some casual time. Their talk were not healthy, so I never been part of it. They were young lads ..much younger than me..Still prefer more comfort in life.
When I look at people who say they have no energy, I think they're behaving lazy and irresponsibly. That's because they don't have any energy anyway. If they tried harder, maybe their energy wouldn't be depleted so quickly; it would be recharged. :) If people are feeling low on energy, they should immediately meet up with a loved one they haven't seen in a while. I'm sure it will recharge their batteries.
Energy is absolutely essential for a quality life.
yup.. it's just a BS, weak excuse.. I get my gym clothes on and just get to the gym. If after a set or two, I feel 'too tired' , then I am ok with skipping the workout.