I am not a religious man.
But I accept a religious vacation.
And today is the Epiphany, which is meaningless to me, but in Finland at least, is still considered a day off. It meant that my wife and daughter had from Christmas week all the way through to today as holidays, but will be going back to school and work tomorrow.
Neither are looking forward to getting back into the normal routine.
My routine stays largely the same.
We had friends over for a late hotdog lunch and some raspberry pie for dessert, as well as playing some boardgames and chatting. It was nice and relaxed and I think that since they are getting back into work also, they appreciated the easy day. It was nice, as we haven't seen them for a few months together, so we caught up and listened to some funny stories that have happened recently.
I have the tendency to ruin the mood.
But I was really, really wary this time about not getting into any deep discussions, despite a lot of openings. In some way, I am a bit like an autistic person that just can't help myself from talking about things that I find interesting. Not a problem, except the things that I find interesting are usually not what others find interesting, and the way I see them, normally doesn't align with their own perspectives. It makes for good conversation with a few people, but terrible conversation with many.
So I bit my tongue. A lot.
That is okay.
Too many people these days feel that whatever they believe is important at the moment, and whatever they think about it, is crucial for everyone to know - and everyone should agree with their views. It is like people who have become vegan, having to tell everyone about it at any opportunity, even if they have to shoehorn it into the conversation. Except, it is about anything and everything. Whatever fad they are into, even if their entire position on a topic is from a single tweet.
Perhaps I am no better.
But I like to believe that I put some thought into what I talk about, even if it is an on the fly conversation. As I see it, conversations are not debates, they are explorations of topics, so people needn't agree, nor do they need to subscribe to one view or another. Rather, the conversation is for people to be able to discuss what might be an otherwise contentious topic, openly. But I only have a couple friends I can do this with. He was one half of the couple tonight, but instead of getting into anything too deep together, we both kept it light.
Enjoyable, but not as valuable.
At least, not as valuable from a growth perspective in regard to understanding. But, it was valuable in terms of building stronger relationships and even my wife said after they had left, it was a nice visit.
That was because I didn't talk much.
It is generally nicer when I don't talk much and instead just listen to people talk about their own things, even if I don't find them important or interesting. It is human nature, isn't it? We like to have conversations where we get to feel listened to on the things that are important to us, and we will experience the conversation as better, even though our counterpart didn't really talk. As long as they provide feedback that they are listening.
Silly, isn't it?
It is probably why so many people are leaning into AI conversations now, because they can be "listened to" without having to go through all the hardship and effort of building a relationship with a real person. Not only that, they will get the feedback they desire, from something that agrees with them, and even when the AI doesn't agree, it will give it in a very soft form.
The perfect friend.
It is funny though, because while many people seem to be embracing disconnection from reality, I have zero desire to chat to an AI. Zero. I would much rather talk to someone face to face, than even use a self-serve checkout. Or talk on the phone rather than get a text message. Or anything really. I just don't get how people are so content limiting their exposure to other humans.
And I am someone who doesn't like most humans! :D
I think at some point, people are going to paint themselves into a social corner that they can't get out of, and they will find themselves alone. However, perhaps a few will have their own epiphany along the way and course correct, before they are there facing the walk, talking to it.
I don't expect many to head into reality though, as it is just too easy and compelling to avoid all the problems reality brings to the table. Problems most people aren't interested in discussing, let alone looking for potential solutions. But maybe everyone is biting their tongues, because talking about what actually matters, is too uncomfortable.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Be part of the Hive discussion.
- Comment on the topics of the article, and add your perspectives and experiences.
- Read and discuss with others who comment and build your personal network
- Engage well with me and others and put in effort
And you may be rewarded.
The only AI I know I am actively engaging is when I search something on google, as the first thing thrown out whenever one searches for something, is the AI summary. And then, of course, there are the AI generated websites on all topics that are also unavoidable. Or Spotify feeding me crappy bobs that are AI generated with sprinkled in human made music. That said, I have not chatted with any AI on purpose. At least, I hope so. Maybe, that is very unk of me, or some might even perceive it as not embracing the progress. I view it as the path to atrophy of the human brain, a crutch, an easy way out. Don't get me wrong, I do believe that there are use cases for AI where I have no problem with it being used but when it comes to people being replaced and often done so for the profit or cutting corners. Meh.
Sometimes I also purposefully look up sources that are from older years. Then, at least I know humans were part of that equation.
You know me. I hate humans in general. So.. I would say it is even crazier that even I will take human side over chat bot or AI, or machines.
I bite my tongue a lot these days. Certain topics I avoid on purpose as well. For many reasons. In the world where people see in black or white and where people attack each other based on their views, ruining lives in the process, I think it is hard to stay open about things to anybody.
You know, I also, stopped logging on Twitter. Right, before it got really bad there too. I am still laughing about all the braindead zombies asking "Gork, is this true?". I would say my mental is healthier since I stopped frequenting that space.
Searching for comfort for sure. And yeah, there is lots of room for AI in many respects, but it shouldn't be replacing human connection. It becomes the antithesis of humanity.
The process of thought and understanding is more important than being intellectually right in my opinion. There are lots of "right", but the problem is that knowing isn't doing.
But you also see the dangers of relying on the machines for life.
Yep. Many are so polarised and "militarised" that it is impossible to have a conversation with them without it being a fight.
Thankfully, I never got into Twitter. I never saw the value in it as a source of information... lots of screaming people.
This is so me. I absolutely hate self checkouts and texting. It drives me insane.
Again, a man after my own heart. I often say, and I am serious, I like my dogs more than most people.
I reckon that if we lived in a world that had more human interaction, we might end up liking humans more. The problem is that so few interact well these days.
I disagree with you about AI. It is clear that human interaction has no comparison than interacting with AI. But
I've been getting deeper and deeper into AI bots and agent creation during these past weeks and although I can understand your point of not having any interest in having a conversation with a chat bot as I had the same thinking a few weeks ago, I see it quite differently now for several reasons.
First I can have a 'private' conversation if dealing with AI in my computer instead of using one on the cloud controlled by a company. You can do that quite easily lately and avoid 'giving' all your inputs and feedback to one of the big tech companies. Second I prefer to learn and understand the technology to decide if and how to use it instead of ignoring it. Third, the amount of 'sinthetic' knowledge it has is huge compared to any human and it is not so much biassed if you deal with your own instance in your computer. And fourth it improves in time as it recalls all the interactions you have with it using all your 'personal' interaction.
True it is not a real human conversation, I do not see it as that, But to help you understand some real life infos or things you are dealing with, it is a good resource, and learning how to deal with it is important as quite soon we will be 'forced' to do so when interacting with many companies and services on our daily life.
Just as an example, Google search already gives you its AI Gemini response as the first result when doing any search request.
There is space for AI, but I do not think it should be used to replace human interaction. But it is being used that way by an increasing number. They are talking to it as if it is a person, as if they are in a relationship with it. And as such, they are in a relationship with it, which comes with all the emotional connection of a relationship. The problem is, it is not a full relationship and is missing the richness. It is like a child's playground being used as a the training space for astronauts.
I know that it is probably futile, but when I am in the stores I make a point to check out via human check out vs self service. Even if I have to stand in line. That is not because I want to interact with humans though... and it is not because I am lazy to scan a few items myself and pack them.
I do it because I believe that if everyone uses machines all the jobs on check-outs will be gone and high school kids and college students will have one less job option.
I, on the other hand, go to the self-checkout so as not to take up any extra time from the salesperson. The salesperson profession will inevitably disappear (in 99% of cases). Let the last of them work with a lighter workload.
Speed their demise?
I make their daily work easier, they are paid for the hours they work, not for the number of clients. and progress are inexorable; obvious trends are unstoppable. In my small store, I will never fire a salesperson, but large chain stores will inevitably fire 90% of their salespeople within 10-15 years.
I don't think it will take that long, maybe 5 years at most...
They are losing options very quickly. All the job posts are for "experienced" people, but it seems that society has forgotten how experience is earned.
I think I've learned to be like you. I used to talk a lot about interesting topics, at least for me, but I realized that sometimes I can be very deep about certain things and people prefer lighter topics. I've learned that I don't have to have an opinion about everything, and I've realized that I don't want to have an opinion about everything either. Just as there is a right to express an opinion, there is also a right not to express an opinion. In Venezuela, for example, we have learned not to talk about politics (at least not with people we don't trust very much), even if we want to. Best regards
Yes. But I try to be picky with my thinking. I'd rather spend time thinking about what I find important, than thinking about some random show on Netflix, or what some celebrity is doing.
Probably a good idea to talk about it more now.
Yes, I think it's an excellent opportunity to talk about Venezuela and what's happening here. Saludos
It's fascinating how an 'epiphany' isn't usually the discovery of something new, but rather a new way of seeing what was always there. In this sense, your reflection makes me think about how much of our daily “blindness” is optional. That epiphanic perspective you speak of is, at its core, an act of presence. Sometimes we become obsessed with “doing” and “having,” and we forget that the real value lies in “observing” and “understanding” our role on the board.
I truly appreciate the honesty with which you share these internal processes; you remind us that the most important growth always happens beneath the surface. My early years were spent in the darkness of my disability until I turned eight; that's why today I take such good care of my eyesight, of my one good eye… A heartfelt hug full of blessings… Oh, by the way, the temperature here is already approaching 24 °F (ca. -4.44 °C), promising to drop even further at the end of the month.
I feel that I spend too much on the observational side, not enough on the doing side. Doing is the only way things get done. But understanding is required first, which does take observation.
Isn't this observation translated into action? The "taking care" is an active process, right?
Balmy weather! Almost spring! :D
We're only just now in the middle of winter (16 days); spring in Canada arrives around mid-March. Winter intensifies at the end of January, with temperatures dropping to -7 °F (ca. -22 degree Celsius) in Ontario (last year's average).
At least you enjoyed yourself and you didn't spoil the moment by introducing subjects of discussion, that might be enlightening but boring to the friends that visited you.
Sometimes, in relationships, we have to make the sacrifice in conversations, forget about talking of what interests you and let the other party ramble on about what they are interesting in.
And you listen intently and allow yourself to get immersed in what they are talking about, and maybe even act as if they are interesting to you too.
Few things, in my experience, boost friendship and comradeship like it. When you do this with a person, an emotional bond is automatically created, even a total stranger.
People forget listening is an important part of discussions. The way I do it is I listen to learn, to grab a lesson or two from what the other person is saying, an interesting or educative fact or info, or perspective, you know anything that has value in what they are saying. It's more like listening to learn.
Sometimes, listening to one conversation mindfully with the purpose of learning, can enlighten and be so insightful more than reading an hundred books or sitting under a tutor
We as humans are pretty easy to hack emotionally. It is why so many of us are enslaved by corporations. They know us better than we know ourselves.
Yeah, I try and do the same. A lot of what I learn ends up in an article here, so I can spend time thinking about it a bit more than they might be willing to in the conversation.
People just want to be heard, and when you touch sensitive topics, they can get upset. In my group, one day, a woman told a member who was waiting to get married at 45, if he would do it, and he said he was fine in a free relationship. She asked him to let the girl go, not to make her waste her time. It was uncomfortable, but we need uncomfortable people in our lives, really uncomfortable ones that make us reflect on what life is and what should be done.
That's the value of another human who makes you uncomfortable. Tomorrow, you'll be grateful for it, just like Prophet Nathan told King David to stop stealing Uriah's wife, to the point of killing him to steal his wife.
Speaking little is wise; a man is master of what he keeps silent about and a slave to what he says.
I once heard that the only way another person can truly help us, is by challenging us.
I find it strange that people in my circle are not so interested in talking rather they have let it be attitude. They are in the mode where the unable to absorb or digest any more inputs into their so called database or knowledge base. They made me to restrict to fewer group of people and now find noone to talk. Or rather I restricted myself to talk uselessly to these people.
I have worked with various groups of Indians over the years and one of the frustrating things is that even if someone doesn't understand, they will "let it be" and pretend they do. Then down the track when things don't happen or go well, it becomes clear.
May be they are too confident about their knowledge base or they are complacent enough to grasp something new.
Do you kinda think it's possible that by 'biting your tongue' to keep things light, you’re actually contributing to that 'disconnection from reality' you mentioned at the end? and vaguely and generally speaking If the people we call friends/fam can't handle our true interests or deeper perspectives, are we actually building stronger relationships, or just more comfortable masks🤷
Yes I do. I think we are all trending toward comfortable masks with others. Me also. If I speak my mind and interest areas constantly, I will end up alone in the forest, hanging from a tree.
We got a day off too. Sort of. It was an ice day for us. My wife got to stay at home, but I still had to report to work. I'm trying to be better at listening and not feeling like I need to talk or reply. It's hard though.
Ice day?
The roads were too icy for the school busses to safely navigate them, so they cancel school.
Especially when we are on a long vacation, we have a curiosity about when we will return to work. I had a long vacation a few days ago and I was curious about when I will return to work and see everyone. However, we all like to give importance to our own opinions and believe that the information we know or our words should be listened to with importance. We may often plan so that we do not reach the depths of the conversation. But naturally, we have no control over when we get lost in the middle of talking.
Do you miss work when you are away for a while?
I'm not a religious person either. I don't subscribe to any particular religion, but I respect people of all faiths.
Today we celebrate Orthodox Christmas, paying tribute to the traditions of our ancestors. I was talking to the kids about AI at the holiday table, and they already know a lot for their age. They even recommended the best AI video generators :) We also love to fantasize about the future of humanity; children are great dreamers (until they become adults).
I think it is unnecessary. If people just respect people, than it doesn't matter what labels they apply to themselves. Religion is just another unnecessary label people use to divide themselves from other.
Kids of the future will be able to produce a lot, but have close to no experience to produce anything meaningful. It will all be theoretical, and all the consumers will have little skill to apply anything they might learn, if there is anything to learn at all.
A world with a single religion, or no religion at all, is a unifying factor. But our world is what it is, and I will respect the opinions of others, even if they differ from my own regarding faith.
Children will be different. Success will be achieved by creative people (unfortunately, they are currently in the minority).
True that many people simply want to be listened to, and at times, that requires us to put aside our own concerns to connect with theirs.
I think we all want to be listened to. The problem is if you are interested in things that 95% of people are not interested in at all.
This look like someone standing with one foot in reality while watching others stepping away from it.When we talk about what actually matters is uncomfortable, and maybe that’s why so many avoid it.
Biting the at some point tongue keeps the peace, but it also makes you wonder how many unspoken words and thoughts are still with us. Maybe the real deal is choosing when to speak, and when not to.
A lot. My jaw is cramping from the constant biting.
I love the part you talked about AI. People don’t just want answers anymore, they want to feel listened to without opposing. Real humans come with resistance, disagreement, and discomfort, and that’s exactly what makes them real. Avoiding that might feel easier now, but it feels like postponing what might still happen in the future.
The only thing another can offer us, is the possibility of challenge to grow.
Probably everyone thinks that right XD
From experience with some people at uni and with youngest, some people conflate the two.
Slight afterthought, do you think you might ever inadvertently dominate conversations sometimes or do you purely "ruin the mood" because you've deep dived into a topic nobody else was keen on/capable of at the time? Just asking because of the "like an autistic person" comment as my autistic youngest child will quite often completely dominate conversations with his interests.
he has been trying to get better
When you have my kind of brain glitches it makes life so much better :)
Yay for at least having a nice evening! Reckon the schedule might change later in the year?
Thanks