We are back home and getting Smallsteps, after a Mother's Day away. Smallsteps didn't know we were staying until Sunday in Estonia, but I made sure that her gifts she had created made the journey, so that when we surprised her with the extra night away, she wasn't upset.
What was nice as we were walking toward the boat to leave and come home, was we asked what the best part of the trip was, and she added
"Yesterday - all of it."
It was a good day.
I don't know what made it so good, but I think that it just ran pretty well, with little complaints from anyone and a lot of laughs. I am hoping that we are able to have more of these kinds of days, without having to be away from home too far to enjoy them. We aren't travelling out of Finland again this summer, but we do plan on doing a few day trips, or perhaps a night in another city. We want to do a beach trip to the coast this year, as we have only ever managed one, and the other times we have tried, Smallsteps was ill and then the weather was a disaster.
But, I plan on locking the good day away as a reminder that it is possible to have good days. Sometimes, it is easy to forget, because so much effort and attention goes into other parts of our lives, like illness and allergies. It is hard to ignore these things a lot of the time, and it can take a lot of energy from the day. Yesterday, while we had to do a bit of that, it wasn't as much as other days and I think it felt more like it would for "normal" (there is no normal) families.
We definitely don't have it as hard as some parents do, but it can be this constant weight and it always takes extra consideration, and it takes out some of the fun of spending time together. Rather than having conversations that matter, we have to have too many discussions around planning, and food. I dislike talking about food, checking menus days ahead of time to see if they have anything we can eat, and then getting there and finding out (like we did twice on the trip) that they "didn't get a delivery" of the thing we were counting on.
It takes out the spontaneity.
I was talking the other day about how adventure starts when plans go wrong, but there are some exceptions to that perhaps, when there is a hungry and disappointed kid, and still nowhere clear to get food from. It isn't an adventure when just going from place to place asking if they have anything suitable, and ending up at a corner supermarket scraping together something that resembles a meal - after spending a few days hyping up having a fantastic gluten-free burger.
Could be worse.
For sure it could, but as you can probably tell, this has been a large part of our lives for many years and it has been a constant consideration. It is at times like being stuck in a loop, where we are unable to move on from it, even though we have made progress over the years and it isn't nearly as bad as it was. But, I wonder sometimes what kinds of experiences we would have had, had we not had to spend so much time on this kind of thing. It is a similar question I have for myself regarding my own illnesses.
What else would I have spent my time doing?
Maybe nothing.
Maybe everything.
At least, we have one great day locked away and perhaps, it will be the start of more to come. I am always hopeful that things will get better, but I am also weary of setting expectations too high, as our experience hasn't supported much better. At least not quickly. Yet, I still think I have an awesome family, even if we are struggling to have awesome experiences.
But here we are, still plugging and trying, locking away as many special experiences that we can, when we can, even if they aren't that special. But it is telling that a day that many families would consider a normal day, is a standout day for our family.
Lock it away...
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
Dear @tarazkp !
I assumed you had a better time than Smallsteps!
You would be happy first, then your family will be happy!
It is rarely the case I think .
The resiliency of the little ones is astounding. It pains me the most when I have to say to my son “sorry it’s closed” or “they don’t have it” for certain things that he’s looking forward to. We can’t give into all of the whims of them but the important ones like the gluten free burger for small steps is one of those important ones and it is difficult to have to break it to them. They so often though are looking on the brighter side and I want to try to foster that as long as we can, like I’m sure you and the wife do.
I’m glad she had a wonderful trip! It’s good to get away like that and even the small day trips are crucial. It keeps us sane for sure!
We try, but it is difficult at times. She has become more aware that she is missing out on a lot of things, especially as she spends more time with friends. Everything becomes a learning experience for her - but it would be nice if there were more often things that were just fun.
We made a sort of unexpected trip out of town this past weekend and it was pretty amazing. I give my wife all the credit for prompting me to make the plans.
Nice - will have to check for a writeup on it :)
It will probably be a couple different posts, but the main one went up today.
lThe most beautiful days are those that we take for simple, but with the passage of time become unforgettable memories. They will be beautiful memories for Smallsteps.
I hope she remembers them when the time comes to judge her childhood.
Why not out of Finland in summer this year? I think it is high time for some countries in south ;)
We went to Croatia last year - can't afford it this year, as we have plenty of other things to cover on the house at the moment. It is a process... :)
The stuffs of your house never end 😄
No it doesn't!
Though, it would be nice to have a functional garden area one day. A good place to grill and sit, since we can't afford to go anywhere :D
If grill and sit, I would make it greener 😋
Love the description that you made about a normal and very happy day... Many times, we struggle to find special things to do, or to eat, planning in them weeks in advance, when sometimes all we have to do, it's let the unexpected happen!
Have a great week!
Planning can ruin a lot of things - which is why it is so frustrating to always have to plan where we will eat, as it means that everything gets planned around it.
Exactly! And but skipping that part, most of the time we don't regret that lack of planning... Besides sometimes, off course... ahahah
Welcome back and thank you for felicitatiing with mothers on mothers day. If the lockout has given you a horrible experience, please sorry for that.
Thanks.
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Your story is a testament to the power of hope and resilience. It's a beautiful reminder to treasure the moments that may seem ordinary but hold a world of significance in our hearts.
Smallsteps is surely going to have better memories of her childhood when she grows up…
Yesterday I was celebrating too my Mother's day. She has been a rock in my life and I really feel blessed of having had her as my mother in this life.
We prepared various homemade and vegetal appetizers (asparagus, mixed salad with avocado, guacamole with nachos and so on), pasta with pistachio pesto and a cake (that she made actually). We went for a walk to the centre of Modena to a biological small fair and we also found good stuffs.
Glad you could celebrate properly as well!
I am so glad to hear that, in spite of all the unexpected, it was a good day for you and your family. Sometimes, in the midst of daily struggles, there are many moments of happiness and laughter. I hope you have more days that serve to create special memories together, and well that adventure and fun continue to be a part of your lives.
These unforgettable fun memories are very important with kids. I think it can help them a lot when they encounter sadness, and makes them look forward to making more wonderful ones.