"It is not only about birth rates, but also about reducing loneliness and increasing human well-being. Society must also support people at the stage as they build relationships that could lead to starting a family with someone,"
This came from the youth wing of one of the Finnish political parties (centre party) and I agree with it in a large part, because I do believe that society should be about improving well-being. However, what I don't agree with is the solution that they have to part of the problem, even though they have correctly identified one of the big issues, finally.
According to the youth group, modern dating platforms are controlled by international profit-seeking companies. It said the situation has led to superficiality and difficulties in meeting people, as well as frustration.
I have written about this before, where "dating" platforms are just another consumer product designed to maximise the profit for investors, even if participation is detrimental to users, groups and society as a whole. And yes, I agree that something should be done with this problem, but the solution....
It said that a state-run, free and non-profit dating service would feature research-based knowledge concerning people's compatibility.
OMG!
They are calling for the government to be responsible for and influence the formation of relationships, using data the government has access to, to match-make.
Over the years I have written quite a lot about various aspects of relationships, usually from the perspective of how they are crumbling due to laziness, lack of skills, and an unwillingness to be in any sort of discomfort. Over the last few decades, we as a social species have completely corrupted our social abilities to the point that we have created medical disorders on our lack of skill.
But is "government Tinder" the answer?
I think not.
How long until it becomes a black mirror episode, or China in about three years? How long until the information is used for corrupt purposes, data leaked, or it being used to profile and entrap people?
It is a stupid idea - unless you are a planning a dictatorial government.
Having said that...
It is still a stupid idea....
I do believe society should improve the way it operates and the "reducing loneliness" statement from the youth group speaks to the state of their minds already. They shouldn't be trying to reduce loneliness at all, they should be building an environment where people can thrive. Reduction in loneliness is a side-effect of a healthy society, not the aim of society.
A healthy society where people have real opportunity to improve and participate, to get their needs met and still have the encouragement to expand themselves and support others, will automatically see an increase in relationships forming and people committing, because healthy relationships are part of being a healthy human being. Yea, I know there are a lot of younger people and a few older who disagree and think they are better off a lone, but I call bullshit. Most of the people who believe this have often been damaged somehow by past relationships, often at their own hand, or through the hands of other damaged people. And with so many damaged people these days, it is no wonder that people believe they are better off alone.
But in a healthy society, would they still believe it?
I don't think so.
There is a reason that society was relatively stable when people were happy with an okay job, a house, and a family - because that is about all we really need to be happy. Yep, the jobs could be better and more meaningful and the family dynamics could change a bit, but it is our quest for materialistically more that has taken us down this path.
We have made wealth the goal, instead of health and wellbeing, as if once we have enough wealth, we will be happy. But it just doesn't work that way, because most people will never be able to be wealthy by definition, so it sets up a system where everyone is struggling to get more wealth, but there will only ever be the few percent at the top who can be wealthy.
Wellbeing on the other hand is quite a different target, because it doesn't require wealth to have. It does require resources of many kinds, but at this immediate time on earth, even with 8 billion people, we could essentially all have a high level of wellbeing with opportunity to grow it further, if we didn't focus so heavily on making profit first. As I have said before, the profit for a company shouldn't be counted in dollars, it should come through the wellbeing created.
But the attitude of these youths mentioned above points to the fundamental problem of society today;
People expect to be saved.
They are right that corporate dating services, like all corporations are creating corrupt systems because they are driven by profits, but it isn't the corporations' fault. It is our fault as the consumers. All of these corporations and the governments are screwing us over, because we expect them to save us, and to make it all convenient.
Dating is easy. Learn to be interesting by learning skills and doing interesting things. Learn to talk well and take an honest interest in other people. And don't be a dick.
But it is too much for most people these days, as most believe they are entitled to having everything they want, including the outcomes of skills they are unwilling to build, given to them on a platter. Most do not want to learn how to be a better person than they are today, they want someone else to snap their fingers and make them a better person instead.
It isn't only about creating relationships, it is everything these days. People expect that someone will keep them healthy, that no one will insult them, that a pill can make them lose weight no matter what they eat and they will have money, despite being unwilling to work for it. The environment we have created is one of entitlement.
The first step of solving the problems of the world?
Drop the entitlement.
Step two is to start acting better.
Taraz
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My exact reaction including the size of the OMG. There's a part of me that is wondering how can they not see that that is a monumentally stupid and terrible idea but one thing I have noticed with some of the kids (demonstrated constantly by Youngest but neither of his two older siblings and there is 2 and 4 years difference) is that if they are hyperfixated on an idea they will only see the things they want to see and will downplay or outright dismiss anything that doesn't fit what they want to be true.
And yet will still be shocked and outraged when things go horribly wrong because no one could ever possibly have seen things going wrong when you go out of your way to studiously ignore everyone spelling out to you in great detail everything that could possibly go wrong.
I guess it's a really easy conflation for a lot of people because there's about ten seconds of elation when you buy something so surely if you're able to just buy or do whatever you want the second the thought forms in your head without ever having to worry if you can afford it that surely must be peak happiness.
The problem with a lot of people is they genuinely believe they are entitled to everything for nothing or they're too stupid to note how they're acting (this one I kind of have to keep believing because no one with a modicum of self reflection can act like this unless playing a character right x_x)
Why should they have to no one else is 🙄 (standard kids line about how it's not fair that they're expected to do the right thing when no one else will coz I guess we're all children now)
quite an amazing position, isn't it?
We favour that instant gratification mechanism heavily.
I think this is the case often enough too. They don't realise how entitled they are acting, because they are surrounded by feedback encouraging them.
And I partly agree. It is a losing game to do the right thing these days, but if no one does?
Government Tinder! What a great idea, let me get on it right away 😀
Maybe it would just be for politicians - all of the men would have a 12in dick, and the women be the perfect weight - in their profile. No lies at all.
History repeats itself because we confuse urgency with depth. We want to fix the external issues before looking at the internal ones. Identifying the pain is easy. Proposing a cure without understanding the wound... that is what is dangerous. Less social engineering. More raw humanity. The problem is always real, it has always been there... the solution, almost never.
Why do we continue to rely on institutional band-aids for wounds that can only heal from within?*
The social engineering should lean toward getting people in the same space to share positive experiences. Sports, art, meaningful activity and work.
It is really dangerous that we are moving to forced solution for our social problem (If anyone is thinking to involve their government for the solution of such issues then they'd be getting the decisions forced upon them ultimately if not immediately then in the future). And you said right about the data been leaked and system being got corrupted sooner than later.
True.
My favorite quote of the post and I think it is not only true for dating but also for building relationship in general.
The problem most people have with relationship building these days, is that they aren't willing to listen to others. It takes too much time and effort.
True. Egoes are at their peak, everyone has "A Big Ego". We are lacking the Compassion - Compassion is also am emotion getting extinct.
I think thatvrelationships thrive on personal connection and choice, not algorithms and government intervention.
The young seem to disagree, since they have no alternative than be fed relationships since they can't create their own.
Most do not want to learn how to be a better person than they are today, they want someone else to snap their fingers and make them a better person instead. this is another important angle that many individual seems to be misunderstanding. This generation prefer a sit st home operation using different gadget to create income but instead it is better to create a device that should be generating such income, the process of creating such deice requires physical mechanical, electrical skills. @tarazkp and again when there's a gap on the relationship between the government and the people there seems to be am economic disability. Some capable youths are available but there's a gap.
Rather than trying to generate income, income should be derived from improving wellbeing. Devices can help, but there is far more to it than that.
It’s easy to agree on what's broken, but figuring out the right way to fix it is where things get really messy. Too often, we rush into quick fixes that end up creating completely new problems instead of solving the old ones. It really takes a lot of careful thought to make sure the cure isn't worse than the disease.
The challenge is, our own problems never end, so when do we help others?
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STOPI saw a quote the other day (in church actually) and it made me think of a lot of these topics that you cover. I was going to write a separate post about it, but I will share it with you here. "We participate in communities as autonomous individuals". It was from a book by a guy named Carl Trueman, and though it sounds pretty benign, it isn't meant in a positive way at all.
Cheers