When it is my shift (we take it in turns) to put Smallsteps to bed, I read her books. We have read many, several series, and across various genres, and now we are reading the last we have in the shelf of Roald Dahl's books, Flying Solo. This is one I haven't read before and while it isn't aimed at adults, it is not aimed at children either, as it is an autobiography of part of his adult life.
At the start of the book there is a short prologue and an excerpt of it is used as the book's blurb. When we read the prologue when we first began, we spent a few minutes discussing what this part of it means, as it stood out to me and I wanted to highlight it.
He goes on to say that in this book there are more of the great incidents, otherwise it would be boring. And as true as that is for a book, I wanted to emphasise that while there will be great incidents, most of life is not great, it is small. Life is lived daily and most of the time, nothing special is happening. There is no highlight, no holiday, no promotion, no lottery win, no proposal or marriage and no miracles. Most days of our life, most moments of our life, are extraordinarily ordinary.
Yet, we have been programmed to avoid the ordinary at all cost, because the worst thing we can be, is bored. Rather than paying attention to all of the daily ordinary, many of us are scrolling past life until a great incident arrives. Scrolling past the pretty smile on the bus, scrolling past the laughing baby, scrolling past the sunset.
Missing all the small incidents, while the nose is pressed into a field of pixels.
The sights, the sounds, the experiences of daily living might not actually be that boring, if we switch our perspective a little. For instance, we probably all know some people (or are these people) who make mountains out of molehills, and invest themselves completely into the drama, despite nothing really important happening. Older people tend to do this stereotypically more, but I think that the internet culture encourages it also. It is compelling to be interested, to be expectant, to be anxiously waiting for something to happen, and the digital feeds feed into this desire, returning little of value for the time invested.
Yet many of us feel we are missing out, if we aren't scrolling.
The irony is that as life passes by all around us, we have closed ourselves off to the experience. Worse than that, many often actively avoid living, because it is too messy, too unpredictable, too scary, and makes us too anxious. We'd rather be in the safe bubble of our screen, being fed what we have asked for, hearing what we agree with, and consuming an endless stream of avoidance material.
I wonder what someone like Roald Dahl would think of the culture today. A person who not only had a colourful childhood filled with a lot of tragedy as well as humour, but as an adult travelled the world, fought in wars, got shot down in his fighter only to get back in another once recovered, and the list goes on. A life full of colour, all experienced with an observant eye, and an open mind.
How many of us can truly say we are open to experience?
In this book he writes about some great incidents, but what is clear across all of his books, is that he is an observer and connoisseur of the extraordinary ordinary. His characters, the situations, the way he is able to in the most outrageous circumstances, connect with the audience on a familiar level. We all know people who are cruel and kind, bullies and doormats, personalities and wallflowers, and he is able to bring our own relationships into the pages of his books. Because while there are many extraordinary incidents scattered throughout the stories, they are packed in between a lot of ordinary.
Like life.
Small incidents should never be ignored by experience.
Taraz
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Tbh, I don't know why we don't find joy in boring(ness) or being ordinary. Like 90%, even mpre, of our lives are surrounded by it. Especially in this fast-paced world, where everything is just a click away. I still prefer to stay bored rather than pretending to enjoy or be enthusiastic about an event or act. Recently, the Eid celebration gave the same vibes. Everyone just pretend that it's that part of the year, so we are supposed to be happy. Otherwise, we are just committing a major sin.
Moreover, Roald Dahl might say that the world has changed its toys, but not its nature. The endless scroll of modern content such as reels, constant stimulation might feel to him like a thief of that inner world. He might also hate the concept of absurd trendism - everyone just following one specific trend. Why? Because I saw it on an insta reel. But yes, we all are independent, without independent thinking of our own.
Religions are great at making sinners.
For many years now I have warned of the homogenisation of our thinking - and here we are.
I think the change in perspective could happen if we realize that the small incidents are as important as the great ones in shaping our lives. Some of those incidents have things to give to us, if we observe them, that can positively impact our lives, just like the great incidents.
Like a conversation in the bus, plane or train. Reading at a cafe. Family time spent together. Going to social activities involving loved ones, etc.
Most people are perpetually sad and depressed, because they get caught up awaiting the big incidents that the fun in the small ones passes by, since with all the anticipation, they can barely notice.
On their way to work or school, they are thinking about that business opportunity or scholarship opportunity or one big move they plan to make and thereby miss the fun in small things happening around them.
A day lived experiencing appreciating the small things is more fulfilling and satisfying than a month lived in anticipation of big events. My opinion.
Maybe they are more important, because they shape without us realising it.
We should probably build it into our lifestyle. At least sometimes, tune out of the noise and into life.
Laying down on a couch on our balcony at Maui and listening to the sound of waves breaking down about eight floors below me. Life is great.
The life is passing by really fast, might as well enjoy it...
Mesmerizing! It looks so heavenly.
If it was a double rainbow, I might have cried. ;D
You can actually see a very faint double rainbow on the right
😢
It actually was, second one very faint
I spent the good part of yesterday on my patio. Just soaking in the sun and enjoying the breeze. Nothing spectacular about the day. But it was special in a certain way. It refreshed me in a sense. After being holed up all winter, it was nice to be outside for a long time. I felt appreciative of the heat, the sun, no rain or snow. A nice breeze blowing. Just a small incident.
This resonates. Just this afternoon Smallsteps and I went out to the patio and did a bit of the same. I sat with the dog, she skipped and played in the cool spring air and sun. It was refreshing.
I like your perspective that life isn’t full of major events—nothing special ever happens—but even so, we can turn those few events into great adventures. Once I attended a lecture by a writer who was criticized for having too much tedium in his novels, and he, in one way or another, said exactly what you’re expressing: life isn’t full of great adventures and events. What I do believe is that often our eyes, our routine, minimize those big events. Once I went to a village where most of the people were hermaphrodites. For me, that was an event; for them, it was an everyday occurrence that didn’t deserve to be told. As always, your words are interesting. Best regards.
The mundane is where the magic lays.
Well, that is a new thing to hear for me! :D
There was a just a segment on one of the news shows the other day about how people don't know how to be bored these days. I on the other hand am a master at it! I've always like the line from the Michael Jackson song Heal The World that says it's time to stop existing and start living.
Remember flicking channels on the TV, even though there was nothing on? :D
Yeah, it's harder to do that now with streaming...
Amusingly from a worldbuilding point of view all these nothing specials are among the most important things XD
For sure they are. It is what a world needs!
I think life is usually more about the little moments than the big events, but we tend to believe the opposite.
Believe the opposite, but live the reality of it.
yup.. i'm working on that.. i need to learn how to live in the present and take it all in.. stop, and smell.. the roses? or other things that smell?? :P
Smell whatever. At least use your nose for something other than staring over at a screen :)
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I realize how easy it is for me to scroll past the small, ordinary moments while waiting for something big to happen. Your words remind me to slow down and appreciate those little daily experiences.thank you very much for sharing.
Will your behaviour change though?