Last night I was again writing about differences between younger and older generations in the workplace, and I put a lot of it down to experience, with the experiences of the older generations when they were young, very different to the experiences of those who are young in the workplace currently. In another forty years, it is going to be interesting to see what differences between the age groups will exist, and how the "new boomers" will interpret their own youth.
But something I find interesting with a lot of the arguments I have heard over the years from people defending the young of today, surrounds the conditions they have faced and how they are hard done by. Yet while I believe that they need to "grow up" and take responsibility for their experience, they believe that they are entitled to doing what they want, which also meansnot taking responsibility. And they are right, they can do what they want, but as the saying goes, you can't have your cake and eat it to. Which means in this context that you can't have all the benefits of responsibility, without taking responsibility.
So, when is it time?
Throughout history, the "coming of age" time has been extended further and further, which in many ways has been a good thing, as children in most areas aren't forced to work, get married, have children very young and such. But over the last fifty or so years, the childhood transition into adulthood time has been extended a great deal. Now, the "only young once" attitude is extending well into the thirties for many people, who are still "finding themselves" yet insist that they know exactly what this life thing is all about - which happens to be only the things they want to spend their time on and enjoy doing.
Childhood privilege?
It is good that children can be children in many circumstances, but it should also be remembered that the point of childhood is to learn how to be an adult. But if none of the activities support learning the skills and behaviours of adulthood, the children won't mature. Yes, they will age physically and look like adults, but if they do not hold the skills of an adult and do not behave like an adult, and have no adult responsibilities, are they adults?
I have often read stories of violent crimes where the perpetrator was not held responsible for their actions because they had a very low IQ and the maturity of a child. It didn't mean they were allowed back on the streets, but they were locked away in some kind of psychiatric ward, not a prison. And I think that this might be somewhat of a case study for young people of today, because if they haven't matured, they can't be held responsible for their actions, but it also means that they can't hold positions of responsibility that require the skills of an adult.
There have been many stories written and movies made about post-apocalyptic worlds, and one of the points of sadness is that the children invariably have to mature beyond their years, because they firstly don't get to be children playing games with no worries, but they are also exposed to various horrors and are required to take responsibility for tasks beyond what would be expected of them in the normal world. But, we are in the opposite of a post-apocalyptic world when it comes to how many children are raised today, where they have lessening amounts of responsibility, and increasing amounts of playtime. They also get what they want on-demand when they want it, and there is a lot of convenience in the home and outside that means they don't have to take responsibility or even remember much for themselves. Rather than being exposed to the horrors of the world, they are increasingly surrounded by the comforts.
Spoiled?
For sure. But perhaps this is the way humanity should be, where none of us need grow up and we can spend our time doing exactly what we want, when we want it, and do nothing of what we don't want to do. The problem with this is, the conditions we have do not create nor sustain that kind of living. Unfortunately, things need to be done that no one really wants to do, but in order to make the current conditions somewhat work, someone has to do them. Someone has to take responsibility. But it is also often that these jobs that no one wants to do but must be done, are also poorly paid, like nursing, or emptying bins. Which is why the privileged in many western countries don't do these jobs, they import foreign labour to do it. And that foreign labour tends to know what bad conditions actually look like in the current world, so take responsibility for themselves and do what they need to do, not what they want to do. And often, what they want to do is out of their reach, because the privileged do not want them to do those kinds of jobs anyway - the kind that have some meaning and purpose and a decent salary.
Childhood is a privilege.
But childhood privilege has to come to an end for each of us, otherwise we never progress through all the stages of life. Yes, our body might, but the longer we are holding onto our childhood experience, the more we are limiting our adult experience. But to make the transition across the gap, we have to accept that we need to take on more responsibility and extend our mindset and behaviours to include other people. A child doesn't have to take responsibility for the home like a parent having to pay mortgages and repair broken hot water systems, but they can start learning many of the skills that support it in the future. Similarly though, an adult can't avoid taking responsibility for the community in which they live and benefit from. They have to participate and return value to the system, so that the next generation of children can be children, but learn the skills to add value to the community in the future.
We often talk about education systems as something the government provides, but all of our experience is educational. The quality of the education depends on what we are exposed to, how we interpret and deal with it, and what kinds of support we get to help us close gaps in our skills and understanding when we need it. Every day, no matter whether young or old, we are part of an education system, even though the majority of it is informal and comes with no certification.
But, it does come with qualifications.
While everyone is looking to be free, they also might want to understand what qualification actually means; restriction, limitation, modification. It is about quality. Where quality is about the conditions of something in comparison to something else. It is exclusionary. Our education builds skills that tailor us for certain tasks and will also make us less suitable for other tasks. If our education doesn't prepare us for what we need to do in our lives, our education system has failed.
And I believe it is failing us today, because our experiences are not building strong, robust, healthy, skilled people who are able to take responsibility for what needs to be done, and do it. Instead, it is making us softer, more fragile, and less capable to solve the problems we face now, and those that will arise in the future.
When is it time to learn what we need to know?
Taraz
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Every generation had to endure hard times, but the difference is how every generation reacted to it and responded to the challenge. Winning despite the odds was my grandparents style, winning through intelligence was my parents style, and winning through a combination of work and luck was my generation way.
What do you think is this new generation modus operandi?
Good question. Winning through the effort of prior generations?
What has helped me un-boomer myself a little is the discovery that the human brain doesn’t fully develop until almost 30 years old. Every generation is a product of their environment and those much younger than 30, though they are classified as adults, are mistaking their way to wisdom which definitely takes time and mistakes.
I like to believe that the inconvenient truth of responsibility and hard work eventually melts the shield of entitlement. Either that or the denial of that truth will lead to depression and helplessness which may become more of a pandemic than it is now.
Are these children in the workplace under 30? If I were looking at the transition to adulthood, I would be focusing on the 30somethings in order to preserve my sanity over concerns for the greater good ;)
Yeah, I get that they haven't fully developed physically in the brain until 25ish, but then if they haven't built the skills that they should have built at 10 years of age, and the 15 and 20, ate they going to cram all of the lessons into a few years and suddenly mature to adulthood?
That's the idea. The world isn't going to change to suit them and they will either piece it out or slide into the blame game and look to medication and pity parties to sooth their depression.
Perhaps someone will invent some piece of technology to save them. But I doubt it.
It's surprising that parents of older generations, fail to inculcate the right attitude in their kids. I doubt those kids will inculcate it in their own kids when they attain adulthood. So the problem becomes increasingly bad.
That means whatever deviant, uncultured behaviors young adults of today hold, those of, say, four more generations to come will be very markedly worse. And this keeps affecting society negatively. Since these young adults wear the badge of incompetence, and proudly for that matter, incompetence is going to be a major issue in the society.
I think there's a correlation between technological advancement and decay in the quality of adults the society produces. Most parents now live a life of ease and pleasure, and are less concerned in raising their children right. This is a problem of great concern. Something has to be done. But by who?
I think this is what has been happening for the last few generations already.
A race to the bottom. It is precisely what is happening, facilitated by social media.
Even minor chores are a lesson in responsibility, but those are getting pushed less and less these days. It's sad to see.
" let children be children" - I hear this from people with 20 year old kids.
That's basically the same as someone saying if they aren't hurting anyone let them do whatever they want!
Yes. And most parents say they want their kids to be happy, but are setting them up for misery. So, is the parent doing harm?
Yes, I think so.
I always wanted to be my Dad, but even trying i can never be like him....his maturity was of next level. No doubt his experince in life was much more than I can even imagine...but he did share some crucial learning that helped me time to time...owning a task and taking responsibility of its outcome is one of them....now If I want to pass them to upcoming generation they are reluctant to accept..it is strange but they are just like it....no worry no tension...
Younger generations won't know the pain they are causing themselves for another few decades. But they will learn. Their mental and physical problems are going to be next level.
To me, turning to an adult from childhood has been turned to later and in one way or the other, people find it hard or the young ones find it hard to take responsibility for what they should have done earlier.
It’s good mostly because the young ones are not forced to do anything like get married early or do other stuffs but I’m someone who believes in, “the earlier, the better”
Taking adult roles is a great work but for that to be easier, the child should be trained to transform into and adult.
And I think, not all adults are adults, truly, there are kids in so many adults. Their bodies are grown but their minds are not. Sadly, some adults use the “only young once” as an excuse for them to live an irresponsible life till whenever
The average fifteen year old in the western world today, has done almost zero housework. Yet they also think they are ready to be independent. Money doesn't buy everything.
I really appreciate the way you flipped the conversation from “kids these days” to “what are we actually preparing them for?”. It made me think about how much of adulthood is a skill you learn, not an age you reach. We complain that young people don’t take responsibility, yet we’ve built a world that gives them every reason not to practice it. Maybe the real issue isn’t that people are softer, it’s that the environment keeps removing every sharp edge they could grow against.
At what point do they take responsibility for their own skill gaps?
Young people today aren't pushed into responsibilities as fast as those in the past, but I wonder whether this longer period of being a teenager might be causing them to miss out on important life skills.
I suspect it is like a toddler not learning to walk. Many are missing out on the building blocks of life.
Here we are given children up to a certain age, such as up to 18 years. Then they grow slowly and become adults at some point, but it is seen that many things that are necessary for adulthood, such as their behavior and behavior, are not fully developed. But children should not learn at the pace of adulthood, otherwise if they change physically but cannot change mentally, then they will go into the hands of autism. Because the definition of autism is a problem of mental development along with physical growth. Although today's children are not affected by autism, some children show some such symptoms. There is an article in Bengali by the world poet Rabindranath Tagore about children of this age who experience various types of pressure in this post and it has been beautifully captured about the fact that they are neglected at this age and children at this age are very vulnerable. It is seen that children of this age want to be free and independent. But in reality, it is seen that they are controlled and neglected by the family in many cases.
They are raised by screens and short-form content, that they learn no life skills from, but feel that they know it all. It is a recipe for bad outcomes.
I honestly feel like you captured something many of us see every day. In my own experience, I’ve noticed that a lot of young people want freedom without responsibility, and as a teacher, I see this a lot in teenagers and young adults. They want to enjoy the comfort of childhood while claiming the rights of adults, and I think it’s becoming a real problem.
I agree with you that childhood should be a time of learning, not just enjoyment. When I look around, I see many young adults who have never taught basic life skills, and it shows how they handle work, relationships, and challenges. To me, this “extended childhood” is making people weaker, not stronger. Most of the children these days want soft life and in as much it is bad on it own. The world is not built that way. A lot of people are getting certificates and educational just because they don't want to end up taking the menial job like cleaning and other job taken over by foreigners, like a care job.
What you said about education being bigger than school is really important and should be looking into it. I’ve learned more from life, struggles, mistakes, and disappointments than from any classroom. And I believe many young people today are missing that because everything comes too easily. Comfort is good, but too much comfort can stunt growth.
In my opinion, society won’t move forward if people keep avoiding responsibility. At some point, we all must step up, grow up, and contribute. Otherwise, the future becomes heavier for the few who choose to be accountable.
Education isn't just at the four corners of the building wall, it is beyond the walls, talking about the exposure which the college or high school won't tell this kids about, so they might think the same way it is within the walls that how it is outside the wall. That's the reason so many children misplaced priority even with the education they claim they got. The exposure about life is at the scale of zero @tarazkp
After education is achieve exposure should be attached to it. Experience shouldn't be less emphasis.
Well said. Childhood privilege is sweet o, but it has an expiry date. If we keep stretching it into our 30s, society will feel the heat. Somebody must grow up and carry the load.
Powerful write up. After all is said and done, In the end, everyone wants ease, but societies are built on people who are willing to do hard things. If nobody "grows up", everything collapses.
For as long as mankind has existed, people have been complaining that younger generations are too soft. If anything, it's one of the few things humankind has been incredibly consistent about.
What evidence do we have that people are softer, more fragile and less capable to solve problems?
If anything I think younger generations are faced with much bigger collection of much bigger problems than previous generations had to face... problems that they haven't caused at all that older generations continue to make worse. I feel terrible that the responsibility for saving us all has been dumped on younger generations.
Truly, I think we should all be doing everything we can possibly can to make the lives of future generations better than our own.
While education system might have failed us, in USA Trump Administration is working hard to improve it :)
Education, Architecture or Nursing are no longer recognized as professional degrees :)
This stuff is all part of the Big Beautiful Bill... Oh and engineering, counseling, therapy, and masters in business are also at risk of loosing a professional degree status :)