Everyone seems to be in such a rush.
But don't have anything much to do. Always "busy" and holding no patience, but spend tens of hours a week scrolling through inane feeds that provide no value. What is the point of rushing with nowhere to be?
Do you have somewhere to be?
You'd think that with all of these convenience aids that help us do everything, we'd have more time on our hands to just relax, yet the opposite seems to be true. And because we have so much available on-demand, when we want it, our ability to remain calm and patient if "forced" to wait for anything, whether in traffic and someone is slow off the line at a red light, or if an old person at the supermarket is taking to long to pay, the frustration sets in.
All these technological helpers and we are losing our ability to accept human behaviour.
I find it a compelling problem, because if you talk to most people these days, they say they are trying to improve this or that, to be a better version of themselves. When they talk about the world, they see the problems, like rising crime in their area, political turmoil globally, or the way children are acting. But, drill down just a little and below that surface, most people have nothing concrete they are doing to improve the situation, and rarely even have any ideas. It is like they are going through the motions of caring, in the hope that no one asks them to demonstrate impact through actions.
Words without works.
It is understandable though, because not only have we been conditioned through our environment to work this way, but the same conditioning has disconnected us from a lot of the social landscape also. This means that we are far more focused on ourselves and we don't have to "prove anything" to anyone. Gone are the social consequences of being failing to meet expectations, or fulfil promises, or being flaky in general. It no longer matters what other people think of us, to our detriment.
Yet, here we are, rushing around running important errands of a non-descript nature that don't actually matter to us for more than a moment,. They seem life or death right now to the point that we get agitated if we get held up for a few seconds, but not long after, the moment has passed and we didn't even realise how unimportant it all was. We seem to keep putting ourselves in up and down cycles of emotional state, looking for the next reason to get our blood up and vent, like drug addicts looking for a way to avoid reality.
Daily life is important.
Our lives are shaped far more by our daily activity than the few big events, as is our experience. This is why someone can be in a car accident and lose their legs and a year later, be happier than they were before. It is because while the accident made a massive change, it also forced them to focus more on daily tasks, recovery, relationships, and getting back into the world. All these little things that we take for granted, suddenly became important.
What is important enough to justify screaming at a stranger?
As said many times before, I find human behaviour fascinating. And while I meet a lot of people who want to influence others, most of those people are trying to do it in ways that are unlikely to move the needle in the direction they want, because they don't want to understand how people work, or how they make their decisions. Instead, they want to get what they want as fast as possible, without considering what is required to speed up the process.
Stop rushing.
Change takes time.
Yes, some changes happen incredibly fast, but for the most part, behavioural change takes time. It takes time if we want to enact it in others, it takes time if we want to shift it in ourselves. Not only does it take time though, it also takes practice and repetition and adjustment, and that requires patience. When we don't have patience, we don't have the ability to be effective agents of positive change, because we are going to give up before the desired change has a chance to take root. We will tell ourselves we tried but it didn't work, but the reality is most of the time, we didn't try hard enough for long enough.
Patience really is a virtue.
We should hurry up and get some, before its all gone.
Taraz
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Yes, most people want to influence people and try to, but you are correct they don't understand how people work. Like when we try to argue to convince other people... That works in like 0.01% of the cases LOL. My wife is a ex-marketing executive and she teaches other executives now on executive influence and presence... She sometimes imparts some of her wisdom to me, like how to deal with one particular lady that was a cause of multiple external consultants resigning and quitting because they just could not deal with her and even one full time internal architect quit because of her. She heard the lady speak over Teams in one of my meetings, after that she said: just say this one thing to her next time and she will be forever your friend and on your side.
Don't know if it will be forever, but it has been almost four years and the lady is still my biggest supporter and I replaced that architect who resigned his position four years ago and I work with her every single day since then...
Can she listen to my wife on Teams too and let me in on a phrase?
You know it is interesting these days when people resign a job because of other people in the workplace. Sometimes I think just grow up.
I think professional and personal environments are a bit different :) What would work at work might not be the same in personal life... She has been interested in psychology since she was a teenager, so who knows...
I think I strike a nice balance in my life at the moment of doing some things that require patience, hard work and dedication vs mindless scrolling to numb my anxiety, to distract myself from stressful stuff by going down various rabbit holes that spark my interest. So in some way, the scrolling helps with some symptoms of deeper issues that would take time and great work to repair. Sometimes it gets me over the rough patches to some nicer weather in my head too.
I get it, but will it lead into a situation like a drug where you need more and more to deal with the symptoms? Maybe not, but it is always worth considering whether it is better to deal with a problem now that might not grow, or wait until later when it is huge.
Isn't this what gardening is for :P
Depends on the person and their awareness level I would say. There are things that cannot be worked out for a longer period of time even as you work on them.
Sure, however, you can't garden 24/7 :P
A few hours of solid gardening work exhaust me physically, the mind on the other hand doesn't always go quiet within that time.
Actually, I kind of see it the opposite way. I'm a pretty impatient person, it's a flaw that I admit and accept, but I think it doesn't have so much to do with me being conditioned by mindless scrolling as much as it has to do with the other other people being so absorbed in their device and their own bubble that they have zero awareness of the world that is around them.
Well it can be that too. I still think that it is a circular thing where for instance, we have forgot what it is to wait for a download, or for a delivery or whatever. I hate it when people are slowly crossing the road staring at a phone. I don't, but it makes me want to rev the car and move forward an inch or two quickly :D
I'm sad to say I think my wife has gotten worse at that sort of thing lately, but I don't want to be the one to point it out to her!
Pointing negative stuff out to your woman has never worked well, so you are wise to wait for someone else to do it :)
There should be a "pay stranger to tell wife hard truths" service.
LOL, for sure :)
Best to leave it to others.
Technology was meant to free us, yet it appears to have trapped us in a cycle of impatience and shallow involvement. Perhaps, we should start valuing genuine connections instead of useless scrolling.
Unfortunately, we might be past the point if no return.
Every people who i have been invited to come to hive said me i do not have time for blogging, but if you see them, every week they sp3nd the moening or the day complete in a foorball space, qnd they do not have any five minuts for written a paragraph, it is sound crazy, at the end of the day people will know that they loses the more invaluable source in the life, the time.
Until that they will crying in their old years.
Yeah, I find the same thing weird, where people have time for everything else, except doing what is good for them.
I think that what’s bad is not that a person is in a hurry, but that he often rushes over little things (which becomes a habit and negatively affects him).
Yep. Low-status in their own minds.
Hurry up and wait. 😉
I am too impatient to start.
I want to be in Prague, day after tomorrow...not rushing at all. I mean if my flight is not cancelled! :)
Well, plenty of good beer to pass the time with. Enjoy!
At the same time, I feel like some of this rush is deeper than just technology. Do you think people are avoiding something internally, like silence or reflection and that is why they keep themselves constantly occupied even when there is nothing important going on?
Yes, I do think people are avoiding things internally. They use all of the tech, because they aren't willing to fix themselves.
Yeah, that makes sense. Facing yourself is harder than staying distracted.
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STOPThat "words without works" line is chef’s kiss, so true.
Cheers.