We Talk Friday
(WTF)
This is a semi-regular series that I will run on Fridays to hold discussions on a current topic from the week gone. The aim is to keep them light and conversational, though some might be heavier - regardless of the content topic itself though, just have some fun engaging and discussing with whoever happens to put in the effort in the comments section below.
We Talk Friday Ep. 26: Feel the Love?
WTFs have been a little too serious lately, so I thought this Friday I would take a more casual and personal look into something, and see what conversation comes of it. A lot of my blog articles are meant to be thought provoking in some way, so that people reading can break away a little from their normal daily life and engage with something a little bit random, but maybe valuable to them. I believe that slowing down a little for a few minutes a day and engaging with something out of the normal tasks or focus areas, can provide nutrition for the mind and body. It is not about entertainment or feeling good, or avoidance - it is about being part of something a little different.
However, a lot of the things I write about can be pretty heavy topics at times and often, will provoke emotion, not just thought. As a result, over the years a lot of people have got quite upset at different aspects of what I write, which is of course their prerogative. Most people though, and especially the people who have been around here a while, engage in the discussions with openness and bringing in their personal perspectives and experiences. This can make a heavy topic, far lighter, and I think that we should do more similar, so we can talk about the things that actually matter, without shutting down.
I am not blind to me being a ridiculous at times, or ranty, but that is the style I have developed. These articles, stories, poems and whatever other thing I write here, aren't meant to be doctoral dissertations or histories of the world, they are meant to be narratives of my life experience and observations, and the thoughts that have developed from them. It isn't about "truth" in the sense of fact, but rather truth in the sense of a rough set of rules and guides that could help improve our experiences and wellbeing. The "truth" itself is not truly definable by anyone, but I think we each have to spend a fair amount of time thinking about what our truth is, and testing it.
Belief doesn't make it true.
And if we aren't willing to explore whether our beliefs are actually true or not, how strong are our beliefs and convictions? Yet today, we seem to have a belief that anything anyone believes, makes it a truth. This is not the case at the factual level of course, but there is a "do as you please" approach to it, "as long as you aren't hurting others". But, what if the doing as you please is actually hurting others, just not directly. For instance, if everyone just throws their rubbish on the ground, everyone else is affected. Similarly, if everyone is just doing as they please and acting in ways that will negatively impact indirectly on others, even if it is their belief, is their "truth" valid still?
Personally, I like talking about philosophical discussions, but have very little interest in the academic positions. Some people spend a lot of time on philosophies without recognising that without practical application, they are useless. I prefer the rough heuristic approach, where it goes back to the root of the word itself.
The Love of Wisdom.
Philosophy isn't academic, it is practical, because wisdom is about judging the right action given the circumstances. It is about knowing what to do, when to do it, and being able to do it when that time arises. Knowledge isn't wisdom, until it is appropriately applied consistently. It is because of this that I try to look at areas of life that we all have some connection with and from the perspective of the mind, body, emotional and social areas. Most of my articles touch on all of them in some way, because I think that we are a whole. When we treat slices of us as "apart" from the whole, we end up performing actions that might not consider the ramifications to the other slices.
That is not wise.
Yet we all do it, myself included. And a lot of the fragmentation of society through disconnection and the topic-based, short-form media we consume, encourages us to jump from piece to piece rapidly, and at almost zero depth. The feeling of getting value from a soundbite might be there, but knowing it is not applying it. It is not wisdom.
In the image above is a statement.
I know you still love me
To be able to make that statement requires feedback. Evidence. It is observational and experiential. If someone makes that statement on belief alone though, what they are doing is making an assumption devoid of evidence, leaving far more room for error. But have no doubt, we are always wrong, because we can only ever experience from our perspective, and while it might be true to us, it is never the whole story.
Should the people we say we love, ever doubt it?
Taraz
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Be part of the Hive discussion.
- Comment on the topics of the article, and add your perspectives and experiences.
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And you may be rewarded.
I believe that all our behaviors are discretionary and subject to right and wrong. People can never agree on a specific thing unless it is a socially accepted behavior. In this case, performing it and agreeing on it becomes a tradition. However, it is not necessary that they accept that thing, but rather out of fear that society will look at them differently or that they have gone beyond the norm. Let us take an example of this. For example, not all people like to wear formal attire, whether at work, a funeral, or a specific party. There are those who prefer to wear simple and comfortable clothing, but they are forced to wear what is socially accepted. All of this is so that they are not viewed as a different or eccentric person.
Like you wrote, the way we humans perceive what is true is like the way some blind men in a story felt and described an elephant. One described the elephant as a wall when he felt it's back or sides. The other called it a tree when he felt the legs, etc. That's how not seeing the whole picture of a situation, seeing it from our singular perspective, can make us think we are right, when, infact, we are not. That's why we should always be open to corrections, we should be open to adjusting our beliefs, because our perspective of things could be faulty.
Of course, the whole world could still believe that something is true when it's not. Like some outdated psychological or physiological beliefs that professionals in those fields, and even the masses of people outside the fields, believed to be true until evidences to the contrary emerged. It's a very slippery situation as I see it. The only solution is to put whatever beliefs we have to thorough testing before labelling them truths.
If words and actions contradict each other, the other party will doubt it, or may even not believe it at all. Love shouldn't just be expressed through words; it must be demonstrated through consistent behavior and concrete actions. Otherwise, it won't be credible. If love isn't clearly expressed and supported by consistent behavior, it will create suspicion. Therefore, we must show our love clearly and sincerely.
I'm an all or nothing sort of guy. I've stayed in relationships way longer than I should have and I will hold a token to zero before I sell at a loss, so you had me at WTF... 😀
But we have to accept that the beliefs we hold are not necessarily true and we may be wrong! So we should uncover the truth and spend some time uncovering the truth. It seems that many of us have blind beliefs about anything. But if we observe carefully, we can see our mistakes in those beliefs. We should come out of them on our way.
Since we don't have the definitive answer, we can only believe or not believe what our senses tell us. A person can love someone who deceives them, but they will never stop loving them until they find out about the deception. We cling to the feelings that make us human.
I think every person have their own level of understanding and judging things. They can make their own perception regarding any topic, and when they comes across anything that bisects their understanding than they are not please and may get upset. But no one is bounded to follow others words...every mind works differently. So accept the way we are and others are.... loving a human being is all about knowing them understanding their mindset...and I do feel you have a great soul within....so I always love knowing your aspect on different topic
The word that someone is so simple that someone is loving someone is simple, though, is not complied with the eagerness of love. If someone else loves me, I don't believe it. It is trying to find out clear feedback. If we look at the perspective, we can be deceived by love. So I think we should go beyond our viewpoint limit.
To make sure people feel safe in our relationship, I think we should make sure our actions match what we say. It is a tricky balance, but important for creating trust in any relationship.