I love your cardigans. I also understand about the "darkness" as I struggle with clinical depression periodically. In fact, the time change and shorter days always trigger a slide into depression. I have to fight it with sunlight, nutrition, and sometimes a low dose of medication during the winter months. I had a crying spell at the bridal shop this week while hemming a dress--that was my cue to get serious about fighting off the depression before it gets bad. I have been in what I call "the abyss" when I had postpartum depression. I never will let myself get that bad again, now that I recognize the warning signs. I survive with trust in God and in the body and mind He gave me. Praying for you to feel hope and peace. !BBH
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Today the sun is shining after a week of rain, mist and grey sky... and I feel a bit lighter. So, perhaps your idea about the seasonal loss of light plays a role. Thank you for sharing your story, that made me aware that the darker months could also play a role (but its not all).
I am glad that you are so fine tuned to your psyche that you notice if you are feeling worse and that you have a functioning tool kit to help yourself in such case. I can hardly imagine how bad postpartum depression must be, with so many expectations of the world for the mother to be happy on the one side and functioning on the other (and not to speak of all the expectations one self has in this moment).
To be honest I fear my grumbling is a kind of character trait. Its not as bad as a real depression, but sometimes I would love to be more carefree and less (self)critical. But who knows, perhaps I eventually learn to reign in my unruly thoughts.
Glad to hear you are having a better day. We also have a sunny day today, so I plan to go outside for a bit to soak up the vitamin D and the joy while it lasts.