RE: Wrote this for myself, Don't know if it fits here

hi Rikki. This is a lot to unpack. Getting your thoughts and feelings onto the page is a great first step. Writing can be very cathartic and there may be others who can relate to what you are going through. But as @mirroredspork mentioned, you have to make sure that you are happy and whole again before you can focus on trying to make others happy. Don't be completely dependent on someone else for your happiness. You need to heal yourself first. Real healing. So focus on drug rehab and dealing with your depression. It seems like an obvious question, but have you reached out to your family doctor or anybody in the medical field/support groups for help? No matter how hard it feels, get clean and find your sense of purpose and joy again... and you will create the right space for the right woman to come into your life. The key is first to become the man that will attract the right kind of woman. You know he is in there still. You mentioned that you have a brother and friend who helped you previously. Ask them for help again. You have some things to work through but I'm rooting for you 🙏🤗 Sending you a big !Hug and well done for reaching out here on Hive... even if that isn't what you thought you were doing. You can do this. Keep going, keep sharing, keep connecting.