Mis queridos Hive Bloggers, hoy les traigo el registro de un Performance que realicé en la Universidad Nacional Expermiental de las Artes, UNEARTE. Esta fue en el año 2018 en homenaje a una gran amiga, Mayell.
My dear Hive Bloggers, today I bring you the record of a Performance that I did at the National Experimental University of the Arts, UNEARTE. This was in 2018 in tribute to a great friend, Mayell.
Septiempre:
He decido empezar a escribir la tesis. Me siento en la mesa, ordeno mis cuadernos, saco lápiz, sacapunta y borrador, junto a la lapto y el celular.
Cinco minutos preparando la mesa. Llega un voice en whatsapp, es de la “Gata”, que está en Mexico, lo pongo a reproducir: -Mami ¿cómo estás, es difícil decirte esto, nose si lo sepas, pero te lo tengo que decir... A Mayell la mataron mami, está muerta.
September:
I have decided to start writing the thesis. I sit down at the table, tidy up my notebooks, take out a pencil, sharpener and eraser, along with my laptop and cell phone.
Five minutes setting the table. A voice arrives on whatsapp, it is from the "Cat", who is in Mexico, I put it to play: -Mommy, how are you? It's difficult to tell you this, I don't know if you know, but I have to tell you ... To Mayell They killed her mommy, she's dead.
Cinco minutos más tarde... estaba privada, ya no sabía que hacer, no quería escribir ninguna tesis, no queria creer nada de lo que la Gata me decía en el voice, lo reproduje una y otra vez. Yo solo lloraba.
Duré cinco días llorando o quizás más. Recuerdo que un mes atrás la estuve buscando, nose, quería hacer un círculo de mujeres, quería hacer cosas con ella. Tenía más de una año sin ver a Maye, algo sólo me decía: búscala.
Five minutes later ... I was deprived, I no longer knew what to do, I did not want to write any thesis, I did not want to believe anything that the Cat told me in the voice, I reproduced it over and over again. I just cried.
I spent five days crying or maybe more. I remember that a month ago I was looking for her, I don't know, I wanted to make a women's circle, I wanted to do things with her. I had not seen Maye for more than a year, something only told me: look for her.
Dos meses depués:
Parte de la comunidad de la Universidad decidió hacerle un homenaje.
Ninguno de sus amigos más cercanos estuvo allí, ellos no querían hacer pancartas, ni bailes en su nombre. Pero yo sí, quería despedirla desde mí, desde esa particularidad que ella apreciaba a pesar de no comprenderla. Decidí hacer una acción performativa en nombre de ella. Quería despedirla, ya que no hubo velorio, las invitaciones nunca fueron hechas.
Two months later:
Part of the University community decided to pay tribute to him.
None of his closest friends were there, they did not want to make banners or dance on his behalf. But I do, I wanted to fire her from me, from that particularity that she appreciated despite not understanding. I decided to do a performative action on her behalf. I wanted to fire her, since there was no wake, the invitations were never made.
Pauté con 4 personas hacer una escena de violencia doméstica. Ese día llegué temprano, la principal pauta de la acción era que alguien me golpiera, sin tocarme, que realmente fuera violento, sin maltrato explícito, ni verbal, ni físico, pero que existiera la humillación de un cuerpo siendo humillado por otro, un cuerpo que sin voluntad solo se entrega a su destino.
I scheduled with 4 people to do a scene of domestic violence. That day I arrived early, the main guideline of the action was that someone beat me, without touching me, that it was really violent, without explicit abuse, neither verbal nor physical, but that there was the humiliation of a body being humiliated by another, a body that without will only surrenders itself to its destiny.
Dos días antes me dijeron que cambiara la acción, que la familia iba a estar presente y que era una falta de respeto a los padres, hacer una reinterpretación de la muerte de Mayell. Así que decidí hacerlo sola, quería despedirla. Y solo diré dos cosas de sus padres, por su memoria, y como consejo a cualquiera que lea esto, si usted es maltratad@ y se calla para no preocupar, ni avergonzar a la familia, usted es complice del violento. Segundo, no creo que la solución a los problemas que son de carácter atroz y demente, deban ser censurados y obviados para no sentir dolor. Hay maneras de hablar, de decir y elevar hasta en silencio, la protesta contra la censura a el tabú que se guarda en el mundo de los vivos, respecto a la muerte.
Two days before they told me to change the action, that the family was going to be present and that it was a lack of respect for the parents, to reinterpret Mayell's death. So I decided to do it alone, I wanted to fire her. And I will only say two things about your parents, for their memory, and as advice to anyone who reads this, if you are mistreated and keep quiet so as not to worry or embarrass the family, you are an accomplice of the violent person. Second, I do not believe that the solution to problems that are heinous and insane in nature should be censored and ignored so as not to feel pain. There are ways of speaking, saying and raising even in silence, the protest against the censorship of the taboo that is kept in the world of the living, regarding death.
Ese día, como les contaba, llegué temprano, mis excompañeros del performance, hacían rituales de mandalas y flores en el comedor de la uni. Yo me quedé en la entrada. Solo disponía de una tira de papel blanco de aproximadamente 15 metros de largo y pintura roja.
Media hora antes de empezar, un amigo: “Chusmi”, con el que ya había realizado acciones performaticas insitu, es decir, con la premisa de accionar con los recursos más simples que se tienen a la mano, llegó a la Universidad. Estas acciones parten normalmente del cuerpo, el sonido que puedas hacer, y lo que tengas en la cartera o el morral, hojas, pintura de labios, cuadernos, agua, elementos cotidianos, desde los cuales se busca la ructura del lenguaje convencional, saltar los bloqueos que impone la mente consciente, y desde allí confrontar, provocar, generar un cambio en uno y en el espectador...
That day, as I was telling you, I arrived early, my former colleagues from the performance performed rituals of mandalas and flowers in the university's dining room. I stayed at the entrance. He only had a strip of white paper about 15 meters long and red paint.
Half an hour before starting, a friend: “Chusmi”, with whom he had already performed on-site performatic actions, that is, with the premise of working with the simplest resources available, arrived at the University. These actions normally start from the body, the sound you can make, and what you have in your purse or backpack, sheets, lipstick, notebooks, water, everyday elements, from which you look for the structure of conventional language, skip the blocks imposed by the conscious mind, and from there confront, provoke, generate a change in oneself and in the viewer ...
Chusmita ese día tenía la cartera llena de Flores.
Así completamos la acción, solo con tres elementos, una tira de papel que recorría la entrada de la Universidad como una franja blanca pegada del piso, pintura roja y flores. De fondo musical Will nos acompañó tocando el Primer Movimiento de la Tercera Sinfonía de Gustav Mahler.
Era muy sencillo todo, en silencio, desde una violencia muda, una violencia ni física ni verbal, casi sin poder tocarme, debía golpearme, maltratarme. Ese era el poema, el poema encarnado que quería representar.
Chusmita that day had a portfolio full of Flowers.
Thus we completed the action, with only three elements, a strip of paper that ran through the entrance of the University like a white strip stuck to the floor, red paint and flowers. Musical background Will accompanied us playing the First Movement of the Third Symphony by Gustav Mahler.
Everything was very simple, in silence, from silent violence, violence neither physical nor verbal, almost without being able to touch me, he had to hit me, mistreat me. That was the poem, the incarnate poem that he wanted to represent.
“Chusmi” se quedó parado junto a la tira, cartera con flores a la mano y la pintura rojo en el piso. Yo arrodillada junto a él, puse mi cabeza sobre la tira de papel y empecé a girar poco a poco la cabeza sobre la tira, poco a poco. El agarró pintura y me la puso en la cara con delicadeza, luego, mientras yo empezaba a rodar acostada con la cabeza siempre sobre la tira de papel, el empezó a latigarme la cara con las flores y la pintura.
Mientras tanto yo, rodaba y rodaba poco a poco con la cabeza roja, sobre el papel, con la cara y el cuerpo lleno de flores.
"Chusmi" stood next to the strip, a bag with flowers in hand and the red paint on the floor. Kneeling next to him, I put my head on the strip of paper and began to turn my head little by little on the strip, little by little. He took paint and gently put it on my face, then, as I started to roll lying down with my head always on the strip of paper, he began to whip my face with the flowers and the paint.
Meanwhile I rolled and rolled little by little with my red head, on paper, with my face and body full of flowers.
¿Me redimí con esa acción en nombre de ella? No lo sé.
¿Me perdoné por no haberla encontrado 2 meses atrás? Quien sabe, quizá todo fuera pasado con el mismo desenlace.
¿Sus padres se fueran sentido ofendidos por verme rodar sobre una tira de papel marcada con mi rostro rojo y lleno de flores? No creo, igual no estaban allí.
Did I redeem myself with that action on her behalf? I do not know.
Did I forgive myself for not finding her 2 months ago? Who knows, maybe everything was past with the same outcome.
Would your parents be offended by seeing me roll on a strip of paper marked with my red face and full of flowers? I don't think so, they weren't there anyway.
La música sonaba, yo radaba, luego no pude quedarme allí sin más, “Chusmi” quería accionar más y más en mi contra, pero no lo dejé, lo jalé, lo traje a la tira junto a mí y fui rodando con él hasta que logré empuñarlo con mi cuerpo, hasta que logré tener la fuerza para estar sobre él y en silencio denunciar, por la falta de voluntad que tenemos o porque nos toma por sorpresa, simplemente no podemos hacer nada, y terminamos siendo atacados y sin saber como defendernos, sin voluntad para estar por encima del otro, para que no nos hiera o mate.
“Chusmi”, luego lo tomé con mis piernas, sentada sobre su cuerpo, si ningun tipo de odio, lo precionaba lentamente como si lo aplastara, él solo logró zafarse y correr, yo seguí, me levanté y caminé hasta que se terminó la tira. Me arrodillé, vi el cielo y luego me incliné, le entregué mi despedida a mi amiga y hermana de vida, Mayell.
A todos los ancestros, que se mantienen vivos en la poesía que les entregamos.
The music was playing, I was spinning, then I couldn't just stay there, “Chusmi” wanted to act more and more against me, but I didn't let him, I pulled him, I brought him to the strip next to me and I was rolling with him until I managed to grasp it with my body, until I managed to have the strength to be on it and silently denounce it, due to the lack of will we have or because it takes us by surprise, we simply cannot do anything, and we end up being attacked and not knowing how to defend ourselves , without the will to be above the other, so that he does not hurt or kill us.
"Chusmi", then I took him with my legs, sitting on his body, if any kind of hatred, slowly pressed him as if crushing him, he only managed to get away and run, I continued, got up and walked until the strip was finished. I got down on my knees, saw the sky and then I bowed down, gave my goodbye to my friend and sister in life, Mayell.
To all the ancestors, who are kept alive in the poetry that we deliver to them.
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