On Suffering and Being Kind
I thought about writing this piece for quite a while today, before getting started. I don’t want to make it into a rant, but I do want to state my opinion and the reasons that I look at this quote the way that I do. I have nothing against Emma Thompson; I’ve a positive, semi-likable image of her in my mind, but her quote that I’m writing about is, in my opinion, pompous.
The quote in question; “Its unfortunate and I really wish I wouldn't have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They're kinder.”
Emma, if I may be so informal, has an IQ of 138. She’s pretty damned smart. Having knowledge of her IQ, however, is really immaterial to the quote itself, unless one reads the quote, grimaces and then thinks, “That’s a pretty bad thing to say, as she’s really smart, and it suggests she really means it.”
“Its unfortunate and I really wish I wouldn't have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They're kinder."
The thing that jumps right out at me, is that, in my opinion, she’s saying that people who have suffered, are the type of “regular” people she’s okay being around. Her favorite kind of regular people, although it bugs her to have to say it.” Well, she has a great reason for her display of hospitality; “They’re kinder.”
We could expand on this logic, if we wanted to create the perfect world for Emma, and again, I mean no real offense here, but imagine if we thought that the most important thing in the world for all of us, combined, to do, was to please Emma; it seems we could do it by eliminating people who haven't suffered.
What about people who’ve only suffered a little bit? You see, this is where we’d run into trouble, as the only way forward that I can see, is we’d have to classify people by the levels of suffering they have endured. Obviously then, the really perfect human for Emma would be those who’ve suffered the most.
This is pretty unfair when you think about it, because we’ll potentially have far fewer people who have experienced the highest levels of suffering. It’d be like an “elite” class of sufferers. Pretty tough to make it into that group, too. They would be the absolute kindest, though, according to her logic.
Maybe she could accommodate the lower-level sufferers on a tier-like basis, possibly starting with an eight by ten, signed photo of Emma, for the sufferers who’ve endured the second highest level of suffering.
It would also be logical to think that those sufferers with the “lowest” levels of suffering, could possibly be completely overlooked for any acknowledgment (or love) whatsoever.
This kind of quote is also a bit troubling when attempting to criticize it, because someone will likely say that I’ve taken it out of context. I couldn’t really find any context for the quote, but even if it was meant to be a sarcastic statement, for example, no one would know, because all that’s out there, easily accessible, is the quote, standing on its own.
For this reason, celebrities, especially the truly intelligent ones, (of which there are few, actually), should be careful of the things they say, that can be quoted, because once the quote is out there, it’s pretty tough to find out what they really meant.
On Suffering and Being Kind © free-reign 2020
I've written this opinionated piece as I was inspired by a quote I received as one of the writing prompts in a daily email from @shadowspub. The quote, from Emma Thompson is, “Its unfortunate and I really wish I wouldn't have to say this, but I really like human beings who have suffered. They're kinder.”
Thanks for reading!
Sources for images used in this post:
(Public Domain photos are from Wikimedia Commons)
Suffering Man: IImage by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
EmmaThompson: Image by Bhash90 / CC BY-SA
I think she may have really meant that she likes people who are less judgmental. In my experience those who have 'suffered' understand that perfection is a myth and understanding this may lead to one be more compassionate and kind. I think to that trying to measure something like suffering is a fool's errand. But maybe having suffered, one is lead to put perfection and judgement to rest and look for the why of an action and not condemn the action and the person out of hand. This has been my experience at least.
I do have a bias of course ... love intelligence and Emma Thompson. To my mind she has both intelligence and understanding.
Thanks for reading and your nice reply. I thought I had replied to you, but then I see it's not here. I must've typed it and then forgot to send it, lol.
Anyway, I agree with you pretty much. The thing is, I don't believe she meant it the way it sounds. I think there's more to it, but without the context, it's impossible to know for sure. On its surface, such a saying does seem to me, to be rather harsh and/or pompous.
Imagine if this same quote was attributed to someone that you think is bad - would you feel they were making a positive comment?
One of the reasons I like writing an opinion piece on the quote from the daily email sometimes, is because in so many cases, it presents a meaning that doesn't match what the quoted person had actually meant, because the context is missing. Thanks again for stopping by! 🙂
I suppose having personal context allows for understanding even if it were someone I do not like. I have tried very hard to keep an open mind when listening to anyone ... even someone I know to be a liar ... you never know when they may offer valuable truth. But I am coming to understand I don't think a lot like many people. LOL.
posh:
I don't have strong opinions about Emma Thompson or the truth of her statement, but I do find fault with your analysis.
If it happens to be true that those who have suffered are kinder, then anyone might prefer their company. Certainly, if the corollary is true, that those who have not suffered are unkind, then there must be some who suffer their unkindness.
I would like to empower those who are powerless and strip those who wield their power unkindly, causing suffering, of their power.
I think this aligns with the quote.
She wishes no one would suffer, but we don't live in that world, so we make observations.
Thanks for reading and the reply! I actually think that people who've suffered are more than likely just like all the other people - some are kind, some are hateful and some are neutral. I believe that many people, in general, are kind - more so I'd say, than the number of people who aren't kind.
Being kind, after all, isn't that difficult, though maybe more remarkable coming from someone who'd suffered greatly. 🤔
I like to play devil's advocate when I write about quotes when they're on the list of prompts in the email, and I see them as controversial; especially when the controversy mainly arises because they are taken out of context. It's not so much of what I believe the quote means, it's what I can imagine the average person might take out of seeing the quote without any knowledge of the discussion from whence the "quote" was lifted.
Of course she wishes no one would suffer. Most people wish no one would suffer, but some who will see this quote, out there all by itself, are going to think the worst about her, based on a misunderstanding from lack of context. Not her fault, really. Standalone quotes can be very misleading.
Maybe that's someone's intention.
I'd never seen this quote before, so it was also out of context for me.
I have experienced people just as Thompson has. Those who have not suffered, whose lives have gone as planned, who have health, wealth, and happiness, tend to think they have these things because they are better than those who do not. I find people like this to be self-righteous, controlling and judgemental. In short, unkind. And yes, kindness increases with suffering and acceptance of suffering as a positive state.
Maybe it's just me.