I was recently watching a documentary about MMO addiction and saw that there was a couple who neglected their child and it died while they were in an internet cafe in Korea. There is also another story about a regular in an internet cafe, and I think it was in Korea as well, but he died right there in the cafe due to a heart attack or malnutrition or dehydration. I don't know the details but the fact of the matter is that these people were so hooked on MMOs that they completely neglected all other aspects of their lives.
While I obviously never got in that deep, I did go down an MMO rabbit hole that ruined several parts of my life and made me do what I now consider to be really crazy things just so that I could play certain MMO's. They, like for many other people, became the MOST important thing in my life and I was willing to forego almost anything else in order to be able to continue playing them.
The thrill of teaming up successfully and conquering a difficult dungeon or going up a level or getting new skills was like no other at the time and I was willing to blow off almost anything else in my life in order to continue playing.
I no longer play MMO's or any games that sneak in as other types of games but are actually MMO's (such as Destiny 2) in disguise because I know I am susceptible to falling into this trap yet again.
Here are a few of the things that now regard as completely stupid that I did in my life because of my own MMO addiction.
Lost an amazing girlfriend
src
The above picture is not me but rather a quite interesting story about a guy who is normal looking and admits that his girl is "out of his league." It has been featured in the NYT and is worth a look if you want to see it.
My girlfriend in college was, if you saw us side by side, out of my league as well. I'm not ugly, but I am no Adonis either. She was a 10 for sure and not only was she super attractive but she was smart, kind, and attentive as well. She wanted nothing more than to spend time with me. However, the MMO gods had other things in mind and as time went by I started to make more and more excuses for why I couldn't spend time with her. I don't know why I just didn't simply tell her that I wanted to game for hours and hours in a row because in retrospect she probably would have been ok with it, at least at first, and would have just hung out in the other room and perhaps shared in my glee (or pretended) over the accomplishments I got in the game. She was no gamer though, and didn't really understand the rage about it. I recall trying to get her involved in gaming but she was just awful at it to the point where I would get frustrated watching her try.
The worst instance of me blowing her off involved a night where I also blew off my own visiting family members so that I could go and team up in Dark Age of Camelot. My family was visiting because I had graduated from college and she was part of the festivities as well. When it came time to go home and she was all dressed up oh so beautifully, I told her that I wanted her to go home so I could game. It seems so stupid to me now that I would do that. I think she thought I was cheating on her but I really wasn't, I was just addicted to MMOs.
I don't know if we would have carried on together if it wasn't for the MMO's but she ended up leaving me eventually and looking back I totally agree with her decision to do so. Even though this was many many years ago I still kick myself for screwing that up.
Lost a really good job due to being late and missing work
src
While less traumatizing than screwing up a potentially long-lasting or forever relationship with an amazing girl, this one comes in at a close second. I was in college and most of my friends who had to work had shitty jobs that barely paid the bills. I started out as a dishwasher at a popular restaurant in the downtown area. It was quickly discovered that I was qualified for so much more and soon I found myself getting some server shifts here and there, then because the bosses liked me and I put genuine effort into learning the trade, I was given a few bartending shifts. I eventually became one of the primary bartenders at this place. At one point during the time I was working there this restaurant transitioned into being one of the most popular drinking spots at night as well as a popular restaurant during the day and evening. This meant that this place would be absolutely packed from 9pm to 2am every weekend. Since USA has a massive (and sometimes absurd) tipping culture, I would routinely make 2-3 hundred dollars every weekend shift. This was during a time that tips were tax free as well. So basically, in just the weekends in a month I was making more than enough money to be one of the only people I knew that lived in an apartment without any roommates.
Then the MMO addiction got a hold of me as far as this was concerned as well.
src
I don't know what it was about this now stupid-looking game that as far as I know is defunct, but I was completely enthralled by it even though most of what I did on it was exceptionally repetitive. We would "camp" somewhere and pull mobs over and over again mostly for the xp but also because on occasion the RNG gods would drop some awesome loot. Getting a purple piece of gear was really rare, but when it did happen it was just so amazing.
Well one Friday night I knew that I needed to be in the bar at 11pm to 3am. This is not a lot to ask of someone but I was so hooked on the game that I decided that I would just pretend that I didn't know I was scheduled. I ignored my phone when it rang and instead decided that I would just tell them that I forgot my phone at home and went out for the night.
Believe it or not, this actually worked. They didn't fire me.... well, that was until I did the same thing twice more.
That job was literally the best job that someone my age could have possibly had at the time. I socialized for a living, did something really cool for a living, and got paid a ton of money for very little work. There was also the added bonus of the fact that I was sober and admired for my position and all the girls were drunk and very willing to hand over their phone numbers if I wanted them. I threw this job away to play video games and even though it was decades ago, I am still kicking myself for that. To this day this job was the most money I have ever made per hour with any job that I ever had and I could have continued to do that job for years longer if I wanted to.
Instead I stayed at home in a group killing giant spiders over and over again in the hopes of getting virtual loot and reaching max level on my 3rd or 4th toon.
There are more examples that I will detail later in another addition of this blog, but this one is already too long as it is.
But this is the reason why I don't ever play any MMOs anymore and I never will, no matter how great it sounds / is.
It's clear that MMOs became highly addictive for some of us, leading to neglected relationships and regrettable choices, as it was in my case, ruining much of my college career in his time :/ , that's why I felt so identified with this post and story.
This story highlights the importance of maintaining a healthy balance in life and prioritizing real-world connections over virtual worlds, mate :)
Thanksfor share this post.
Cheers, m8.
You and I are not the only ones. I am sure there are a ton of people out there one day that after years of playing some particular MMO look back at what they've done and have a ton of regrets. These days I prefer 1-person story games that have a beginning and an end. MMO's never end by design and while this works out great for the companies, it can be very damaging to the players.
I agree. In fact this is a method that I also found to overcome the MMO addiction, and right now I only play single player videogames and it works smoothly for me and my lifestyle, buddy.
Cheers.
I used to be an avid MMORPG fan. Just so much to do and so many people to interact with. It's literally a whole new world for a gamer to spend time in! Though I started to get tired hopping from MMORPG to MMORPG and eventually burnt out when it hit a point where the only way people would play in a group would be if we all ran the 'optimal' builds. Any deviation from the 'build' would be a heinous crime against everybody and I was wasting time for not learning the 'min/max' build of the expansion/patch.
'Addiction' to a certain game happens to almost every gamer and it does begin to affect some aspects of life more than others. There is just a point where either the game gets old or the energy to 'build up' doesn't occur and the option to drop out couldn't be more obvious.
It's tough to realize an addiction has taken hold but once it is noticed that is a step closer to being free of it.
Thank you for sharing your experiences. Glad you are able to now live your life freely and without being held down by virtual weights.
urgh. I experienced that in an MMO as well. The rage that people would have for you daring to play the game that you want to. These would be the same people that would cry to the heavens when a patch would come out and "nerf" the game.
Lol I had to look up what MMO stood for and obviously I was never addicted to this sort of thing, but know people who are. You can see how it can ruin peoples lives, but cannot understand anyone neglecting their lives so far as to letting their kid die. We all go through phases and addiction with anything can be a huge problem.
yeah the whole Korean couple that had their kid die was an extreme example but one that is well known.
The only two MMOs I really played were Dark Age of Camelot and Star Wars Galaxies. I enjoyed both but you might say I quit because I wasn't addicted enough. Basically, I didn't have time to play enough for me to feel that the monthly subscription fees were worthwhile. Definitely a better problem to have than being too addicted though.
I learned my lesson and now I don't even look at whatever the latest game that never ends is. I know it will only screw up my real life. It's nice to know that you too played DAOC because that was the pinnacle of my existence. While I did have toons on all 3 realms I enjoyed the elf people? the most.
I play Lineage 2 for so many ages... one's of the best memories of my life.